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    Oral d'anglais (1)

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Oral d'anglais
    Message de phinimi posté le 29-03-2009 à 20:16:43 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour,
    Je suis étudiante en IUT et je dois passer un oral d'anglais en me présentant, présentant mes centres d'intérêts et mes études. J'ai rédigé mon oral mais je ne suis pas très forte en anglais et je pense qu'il y a pas mal de fautes, pouvez-vous m'aider à les corriger?


    My name is ..., I am 20 years old. To present me I go you quote characteristics of my character. I would say that I am stayer and sociable but at the same time I am curious and extravagant. First of all I am going to speak to you about my passions. Fascinated by the gymnastics, I practise this sport every week since more than 10 years, within the club of Guyancourt in Les yvelines. I also have the luck to practise the equitation in an autonomous way because it is a family passion.
    Now, I am going speak to you about my studies as well as my work placements. I obtained a marketing A level and now I am in polytechnics in Rambouillet in Les Yvelines where I prepare my diploma. This training allowed me to arrest quickly the professional world thanks to its interdisciplinarity and to its training courses. She also allowed me to know the various professions and the stakes in a company. During the first year of polytechnics, I had the opportunity to make one month work placement in a real estate agency. This work placement allowed me to develop my relational capacities. Thanks to this training course, I learned how to apply the subjects taught at school. This year, I have the chance to make it at the Paris Public Transport System. My mission will consist to realize a satisfaction survey on the clientele, about several bus lines.
    After to this training I want integrate a school of human resources to be able to acquire all the necessary skills to succeed in the human resources. I wish to work in the human resources because it’s a domain which corresponds to me, in very relational. My objective is to begin my career as person in charge of the human resources to acquire all the experience and the necessary knowledge to become eventually a human resources manager.
    Here is a brief presentation of my career, my activities and my centres of interests.


    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 29-03-2009 20:17


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de linsey34, postée le 29-03-2009 à 20:30:41 (S | E)
    Dear phinimi,

    My name is ..., I am 20 years old. To present me I go you quote introduce myself, I'm going to give you some characteristics of my character. I would say that I am stayer and sociable but at the same time I am curious and extravagant. First of all I am going to speak to tell you about my passions. Fascinated by the gymnastics, I practise this sport every week since for more than 10 years, within the club of Guyancourt in Les yvelines. I also have the luck to practise the equitation horse riding in an autonomous way because it is a family passion.
    Now, I am going speak to to tell you about my studies as well as my work placements. I obtained a marketing A level and now I am in polytechnics in Rambouillet in Les Yvelines where I prepare my diploma. This training allowed me to arrest quickly the professional world thanks to its interdisciplinarity and to its training courses. She It also allowed me to know the various professions and the stakes in a company. During the first year of polytechnics, I had the opportunity to make one month work placement in a real estate agency. This work placement allowed me to develop my relational capacities. Thanks to this training course, I learned how to apply the subjects taught at school. This year, I have the chance to make it at the Paris Public Transport System. My mission will consist to realize in realizing a satisfaction survey on the clientele, about several bus lines.
    After to this training I want to integrate a school of human resources to be able to acquire all the necessary skills to succeed in the human resources. I wish to work in the human resources because it’s a domain which corresponds to me, in very relational. My objective is to begin my career as a person in charge of the human resources to acquire all the experience and the necessary knowledge to become eventually a human resources manager.
    Here is a brief presentation of my career, my activities and my centres of interests. pastimes

    Donc en rouge tes erreurs et en bleu ma correction !


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de phinimi, postée le 29-03-2009 à 20:35:09 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup !! C'est très gentil d'avoir répondu aussi vite !!


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de brettdallen, postée le 29-03-2009 à 21:08:45 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    Je vous propose quelques pistes de correction...
    J'ai tout d'abord une question: ce travail devra-t-il être rendu(donc, en tant que devoir écrit) ou n'est-ce qu'une aide pour votre présentation orale? si c'est le 2ème cas de figure, votre travail est trop "écrit" et ne correspond pas à ce que vous diriez à l'oral...




    My name is ..., I am 20 years old. To present me I go you quote characteristics of("Je vais commencer ma présentation en vous parlant de") my character. I would say that I am stayer? and sociable but at the same time I am curious and extravagant. First of all I am going to speak to you(ok ou "tell you") about my passions.(I am) Fascinated by the(pas d'article, c'est général) gymnastics, I practise (forme verbale à revoir!ici, vous dites ce que vous faites depuis 10 ans, cela a donc commencé dans le passé et se poursuit, donc?)this sport every week since(mauvaise préposition! choisissez celle qui introduit une période) more than 10 years, within("at") the club of Guyancourt in Les yvelines. I also have("be lucky"! mais en fait, je dirais "J'ai aussi l'occasion de") the luck to practise the (sans article)equitation(trop soutenu! "horse-riding") in an autonomous way because it is a family passion.
    Now, I am going speak to you("tell you") about my studies as well as my work placements. I obtained a marketing A level and now I am in polytechnics ("the École Polytechnique")in Rambouillet in Les Yvelines where I prepare(en Be+-ing) my diploma. This training allowed me to arrest(vous avez mal cherché) quickly the professional world thanks to its interdisciplinarity and to its training courses. She also allowed me to know the(pas d'article) various professions and the stakes in a company. During the first year of polytechnics, I had the opportunity to make one month("do a one-month") work placement in a real estate agency. This work placement(inutile) allowed (il revient souvent!!)me to develop my relational capacities(pour un contenant! cherchez un autre nom). Thanks to this training course, I learned how to apply the subjects taught at school(ou: "mes connaissances théoriques"). This year, I have the chance (use "be lucky/fortunate")to make it at the Paris Public Transport System. My mission will consist to realize(vérifiez le fonctionnement de "consist")(+ "realize" n'est pas le verbe que j'aurais choisi! "carry out/do/conduct"?) a satisfaction survey on the clientele("customers"/users"?), about? several bus lines.
    After to? this training I want(manque un mot!!) integrate("join"/"get into") a school of human resources to be able to acquire all the necessary skills to succeed in the human resources("that field"). I wish to work in the human resources because it’s a domain which corresponds to me, in very relational(c'est lourd!). My objective is to begin my career as (a) person in charge of the human resources(department) to acquire all the experience and the necessary knowledge to become eventually a human resources manager.
    Here is a brief presentation of my career(non!), my activities and my centres of i


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de phinimi, postée le 29-03-2009 à 22:37:06 (S | E)
    C'est une aide pour passer à l'oral, comment faire pour que ce soit plus fluide?



    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de brettdallen, postée le 29-03-2009 à 22:53:58 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    Simple! faites des phrases simples, que vous pouvez vous imaginer dire face à un jury! soyez moins "écrit", comme je vous l'ai dit. Des phrases courtes, des connections simples, moins de mots "soutenus" ou difficile à prononcer(je ne me rappelle plus, mais je crois que vous utilisez "interdisciplinarity"! comment placer ce mot si le reste de votre présentation n'est pas du même registre?).
    Principe: relisez chacune des phrases et repérez l'idée. Traduisez la de manière simple(un sujet clair et simple, un verbe du même registre et un complément, cela peut s'organiser autour de 3 mots clé, en fait! ce qui facilite la mémorisation.).
    Voyez ensuite si vous pouvez connecter à une autre idée et comment( mais toujours en toute simplicité)("nevertheless" n'est pas toujours aisé à l'oral, "yet" l'est plus, vous voyez?).
    Je pense que vous avez compris, vous pouvez vous mettre au travail.
    Cordialement.


    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de phinimi, postée le 30-03-2009 à 17:50:59 (S | E)
    J'ai rajoutée quelques phrases puisque ma présentation n'était pas assez longue est-ce que vous pouvez relire pour voir s'il y a des fautes?

    My name is …, I am 20 years old. To introduce myself, I'm going to give you some characteristics of my character. I would say that I am stayer and sociable but at the same time I am curious and extravagant. First of all I am going to tell you about my passions. Fascinated by gymnastics, I practise this sport every week for more than 10 years, within the club of Guyancourt in Les yvelines. This year, we arrived first at the departmental and regional level. During May we are going to participate in French championships. I also have the luck to practise horse riding in an autonomous way because it is a family passion.

    Now, I am going to speak to you about my summer jobs. I work every July for my 18 years on the hospital of Garches. First year I worked as medical secretary and last year I had the opportunity to work on the day-nursery and in the community centre of the hospital where I took charge of children of the staff. These jobs allowed me to have diverse work experiences and they bring me especially a grant to be able to go out during year.

    To finish, I am going to tell you about my studies as well as my work placements. I obtained a marketing A level and now I am in polytechnics in Rambouillet in Les Yvelines where I prepare my diploma. I chose a sales training because it was in the continuity of my high school diploma and it was one domain which attracted me particularly. This training allowed me to arrest quickly the professional world thanks to its interdisciplinarity and to its training courses. It also allowed me to know the various professions and the stakes in a company. During the first year of polytechnics, I had the opportunity to make one month work placement in a real estate agency. This work placement allowed me to develop my relational capacities. Thanks to this training course, I learned how to apply the subjects taught at school. This year, I have the chance to make it at the Paris Public Transport System. My mission will consist in realizing a satisfaction survey on the clientele, about several bus lines. However after my diploma I wish to change orientation and I want to integrate a school of human resources to be able to acquire all the necessary skills to succeed in human resources. I wish to work in the human resources because it’s a domain which corresponds to me, very relational. My objective is to begin my career as a person in charge of the human resources to acquire all the experience and the necessary knowledge to become eventually a human resources manager.
    Here is a brief presentation of my career, my activities and my pastimes.




    Réponse: Oral d'anglais de phinimi, postée le 30-03-2009 à 20:00:18 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    J'ai rajoutée quelques phrases puisque ma présentation n'était pas assez longue est-ce que vous pouvez relire pour voir s'il y a des fautes?

    My name is …, I am 20 years old. To introduce myself, I'm going to give you some characteristics of my character. I would say that I am stayer and sociable but at the same time I am curious and extravagant. First of all I am going to tell you about my passions. Fascinated by gymnastics, I practise this sport every week for more than 10 years, within the club of Guyancourt in Les yvelines. This year, we arrived first at the departmental and regional level. During May we are going to participate in French championships. I also have the luck to practise horse riding in an autonomous way because it is a family passion.

    Now, I am going to speak to you about my summer jobs. I work every July for my 18 years on the hospital of Garches. First year I worked as medical secretary and last year I had the opportunity to work on the day-nursery and in the community centre of the hospital where I took charge of children of the staff. These jobs allowed me to have diverse work experiences and they bring me especially a grant to be able to go out during year.

    To finish, I am going to tell you about my studies as well as my work placements. I obtained a marketing A level and now I am in polytechnics in Rambouillet in Les Yvelines where I prepare my diploma. I chose a sales training because it was in the continuity of my high school diploma and it was one domain which attracted me particularly. This training allowed me to arrest quickly the professional world thanks to its interdisciplinarity and to its training courses. It also allowed me to know the various professions and the stakes in a company. During the first year of polytechnics, I had the opportunity to make one month work placement in a real estate agency. This work placement allowed me to develop my relational capacities. Thanks to this training course, I learned how to apply the subjects taught at school. This year, I have the chance to make it at the Paris Public Transport System. My mission will consist in realizing a satisfaction survey on the clientele, about several bus lines. However after my diploma I wish to change orientation and I want to integrate a school of human resources to be able to acquire all the necessary skills to succeed in human resources. I wish to work in the human resources because it’s a domain which corresponds to me, very relational. My objective is to begin my career as a person in charge of the human resources to acquire all the experience and the necessary knowledge to become eventually a human resources manager.
    Here is a brief presentation of my career, my activities and my pastimes.





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