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Idea of Progress/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Idea of Progress/aide
Message de clounulentout posté le 08-05-2015 à 14:26:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai préparé mon oral d'anglais sur l'idée de progrès mais j'aurais besoin d'une correction xxx.
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide

I'm going to talk about the notion Idea of Progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a change can produce an improvement in the human condition. Every day scientists invent new technologies, they make new discoveries such as the Internet. The Internet is a very powerful tool available to anybody, anywhere and at any time about any topic you want. To examine this advances I'm going to study the following question: How the Internet has changed the lives of people ? To illustrate it I'm going to speak the benefits of the Internet and of these disadvantages.
The Internet has changed people's lives positively.The Internet is educational because you can learn from the past, which permits not reproduce the same events or mistakes again the future. But the Internet is also relax as you may talk with your friends, watch videos and movies, listen to music, play games and shop online. On the Internet there is social networks like "Facebook" created by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004. Social networks keeps in touch with anybody and to share anything quite instantly so it's also a tool which permits to relax. For compagnies, the Internet has advantages because it permits them to spy on their employers, which means to check who they really are on their profile. It also permits them to have immediate feedback, which means the customer's opinions about their compagny. It also permits them to adapt their products and provide targeted services.
But the Internet has also negative points. For research, we can find fake information so always check what is on the Internet. Moreover, on the Internet, there is 'Google" is search engine created by Serge Brin and Larry Page in 1998. On "Google", we find more articles on the same subject so it's easy to check information but it's long. You can become addict as you can spend hours and hours on th Internet, do not go out. Finally the Internet is dangerous because you may take bad habits and you can dress your eyes, if there is too many ads, you can be infulenced while it's a trap and you may be influenced by ill-intentioned people who can enter of privacy and hurt you.
To conclude, the Internet has change the lives of people because it's a tool which permits to learn and also to relax. But the Internet can be dangerous if not careful. However parental controls exists for protect chilren.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2015 14:38



Réponse: Idea of Progress/aide de laure95, postée le 09-05-2015 à 16:46:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,

I'm going to talk about the notion the Idea of Progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a change that can produce an improvement in the human condition.

To examine this advances (THIS + SING, THESE + PLUR) I'm going to study the following question: How the Internet has changed the lives of people (ordre des mots à changer) ? To illustrate it I'm going to speak about the benefits of the Internet and of these (mettre un possessif) disadvantages.

The Internet is educational because you can learn from the past, which permits not to reproduce the same events or mistakes again in the future. But the Internet is also relax as you may talk with your friends, watch videos and movies, listen to music, play games and shop online. On the Internet there is (networks est au pluriel) social networks like "Facebook" created by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004. Social networks keeps (conjugaison) in touch with anybody and to share anything quite instantly so it's also a tool which permits to relax. For compagnies (orthographe), the Internet has advantages because it permits them to spy on their employers (confusion entre employers et employees), which means to check who they really are on their profile. It also permits them to have immediate feedback (à mettre au pluriel), which means the customer's opinions about their compagny.

Moreover, on the Internet, there is 'Google" it is a search engine created by Serge Brin and Larry Page in 1998.
Finally the Internet is dangerous because you may take bad habits and you can dress your eyes, if there is (THERE IS + ]SING) too many ads, you can be infulenced ? while it's a trap and you may be influenced by ill-intentioned people who can enter of privacy and hurt you.
To conclude, the Internet has change (pas la bonne forme du verbe) the lives of people because it's a tool which permits to learn and also to relax. But the Internet can be dangerous if (il manque un sujet et un verbe) not careful. However parental controls exists for (to) protect chilren.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2015 17:30
Bug couleur réparé.



Réponse: Idea of Progress/aide de clounulentout, postée le 10-05-2015 à 14:27:45 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, j'ai corrigé mon texte

I'm going to talk about the notion the Idea of Progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a change that can produce an improvement in the human condition.

To examine these advances I'm going to study the following question: How does the Internet has changed the lives of people ? To illustrate it I'm going to speak about the benefits of the Internet and of these (mettre un possessif) disadvantages.

The Internet is educational because you can learn from the past, which permits not to reproduce the same events or mistakes again in the future. But the Internet is also relax as you may talk with your friends, watch videos and movies, listen to music, play games and shop online. On the Internet there are social networks like "Facebook" created by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004. Social networks keeps in touch with anybody and to share anything quite instantly so it's also a tool which permits to relax. For companies, the Internet has advantages because it permits them to spy on their employees, which means to check who they really are on their profile. It also permits them to have immediate feedbacks, which means the customer's opinions about their compagny.

Moreover, on the Internet, there is 'Google" it is a search engine created by Serge Brin and Larry Page in 1998.
Finally the Internet is dangerous because you may take bad habits and you can dress your eyes, if there are too numerous ads, you can be infulenced ? while it's a trap and you may be influenced by ill-intentioned people who can enter of privacy and hurt you.
To conclude, the Internet changed the lives of people because it's a tool which permits to learn and also to relax. But the Internet can be dangerous if people are not careful. However parental controls exists for to protect chilren.




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