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Bac/places and forms of power

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/places and forms of power
Message de lopezmyriam23 posté le 05-03-2016 à 19:10:01 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir tout le monde,
j'ai prépar ma notion sur lieux et formes de pouvoir pour le Bac et j'aimerais que quelqu’un m'aide à corriger ce qui ne va pas, s'il vous plait.
Merci pour vos réponses.

I'm going to introduce the notion of places and forms of power.
First I will give a definition of power. Then I will talk about several documents on this notion and more precisely the relation between (the) black and (the) White people.
do people of different culture can live in harmony ?
A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person or a body. The person who has the power dominates the others who must obey.
The documents which I will speak/talk , perfectly illustrate this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography and talk about the stolen generation.
It about living coondition in a settelment for Aboriginal children in order to be educated by european people. They lived in terribles conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention describe as a small room with a sandy floor. They were no sheets or pillow exept on special occasion, when there was an inspectionby prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there was wire screen and iron bars on the windows.
We can say that this place is a concentration camp. The children were forbiden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raisedand educated according to white people's ways.
The last sentende shows that Molly will never accept herself to fate. She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
An other document I would loke to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an aboriginal woman whiwh illustrates the opposition between blak and white people. We can see that there is a constante opposition between (cela ne fait pas trop de "between"??) "no more" and "now" which show that the narrator is against/pposite to the european culture.
The last document is a speech from Kevin Rudd's who he said "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. ecause the european have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginal. He said that the Aboriginal are as part of the country as the others citizens.

Wee seen the power relations between the strong (europeans)and the weak (aboriginal). These power relations have existed since the great discoveries and yet (unfortunately) still continue today. With the globalisation the diference of the living condition decrease but there is also great diferent. The people from the country develope are a longer life and better condition.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-03-2016 21:08


Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de here4u, postée le 05-03-2016 à 19:31:59 (S | E)
Hello !

A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person or a body.(clumsy!) The person who has the power dominates the others who must obey.
The documents which I will speak/talk XXXXX manque particule), perfectly illustrate this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography and talk about the stolen generation.
It about(il manque un verbe!) living coonditionS in a settelment for Aboriginal children in order to be educated by european people. They lived in terribles(it's an adjective!) conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention describe = participe passéas a small room with a sandy floor. They were no sheets or pillow exept on special occasion, when there was an inspection by prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there was wire screen and iron bars on the windows.
We can say that this place is a concentration camp. The children were forbiden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raised and educated according to white people's ways.
The last sentende shows that Molly will never accept herself to fate. She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
An other document I would loke to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an aboriginal woman whiwh illustrates the opposition between blak and white people. We can see that there is a constante opposition between (cela ne fait pas trop de "between"??) "no more" and "now" which show that the narrator is against/pposite to the european culture.
The last document is a speech from Kevin Rudd's who he said "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. ecause the european have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginal. He said that the Aboriginal are as part of the country as = very clumsy! the others citizens.

Wee seen (temps?) the power relations between the strong (europeans)and the weak (aboriginal). These powerful??? relations have existed since the great discoveries and yet (unfortunately) still continue today. With the globalisation the diference of the living condition decrease but there is also great diferent. The people from the country develope= construction + ordre des mots! are/confusion avec "have"? a longer life and better condition.
Conclusion ?



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de lopezmyriam23, postée le 07-03-2016 à 13:18:55 (S | E)
Bonjour
j'ai essayé de rajouter quelques éléments à mon texte qui est un peu vide. Est-ce que quelqu'un peut m'aider pour les fautes s'il vous plaît ?? Je vous remercie d'avance car j'ai encore besoin d'un coup de pouce.


A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person.) The person who has the power dominates the others who must obey.
The documents which I will speak/talk is perfectly illustrate this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography.
It is about the stolen generation and living coonditions in a settelment, for Aboriginal children in order to be educated by European people. They lived in terrible conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention described as a small room with a sandy floor. They were no sheets or pillows exept on special occasion, when there was an inspection by prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there were wire screens and iron bars on/onto the windows.
We can say that this place is a concentration camp. The children were forbidden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raised and educated according to white people's ways.
The last sentende shows that Molly will never accept herself these rules. "After call and lights out, Moly listenedto the side of the bolt and the rattle of the padlock, then silence. It was at that moment this free-spirited girl(s) knew that she and her sisters must escape from this place". She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
Another document I would like to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an Aboriginal woman, which illustrates the opposition between blak and white people. We can see that there is a constante opposition between (cela ne fait pas trop de "between"??) "no more" and "now" which shows that the narrator is against/opposite to the European culture.
The last document is a speech from Kevin Rudd's. He said "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. Because the European have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginal. He said that the Aboriginals are as part of the country as = very clumsy! the others citizens (c'est une phrase de notre professeur...)
the aboriginal are part of the country such as the European ....phrase correcte ??
Wee see that the power's relations (cela n'existe pas?) between the strong (Europeans)and the weak (Aboriginal). This powerful relations have existed since the great discoveries and yet (unfortunately) still continue today. With the globalisation the diference of the living condition decrease but there is also great diferences. People in developed countries have a longer life and better conditions.
The people who have the power dominates others nations. This one can only obey(s).
Wee see that tere is a hierarchy among people(s) and those who dominate are those of developed countries.
This is one of the causes of the loss/death of cutures . In forcing people into submission, the European forced them/ all the weak people to abandon their traditions and accept those of Western.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2016 14:42



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de laure95, postée le 08-03-2016 à 15:09:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- The documents which I will speak/talk is perfectly illustrate: IS + PARTICIPE PASSE
-settelment: orthographe
- They were no sheets or pillows: THEY WERE = ils étaient
- this place is a concentration camp: mettre au passé
- sentende
- shows that Molly will never accept herself (enlever ce mot) these rules.

- blak: orthographe
-constante: orthographe

- The last document is a speech from (pas la bonne préposition) Kevin Rudd's.
- He said "sorry": mettre au présent
- the others (pas de "s")citizens
- the aboriginal, the European: pluriel
- the power's relations (cela n'existe pas?): tu ne peux pas faire de cas possessif quand il ne s'agit pas d'une personne, d'un pays, d'une ville)
- This ( THIS + SINGULIER)powerful relations
- diference: orthographe
- The people who have the power dominates (conjugaison) others (pas de "s")nations.
- This one can only obey(s): CAN + INFINITIF
- Wee
- tere is
- a hierarchy among people(s): PEOPLE est déjà un mot pluriel
- and those who dominate are those of developed countries.





Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de lopezmyriam23, postée le 11-03-2016 à 18:35:28 (S | E)
Bonjour tout le monde,
je poste mon texte à nouveau; est-ce que quelqu'un voudrai bien m'aider, me dire s'il y a encore des fautes.
Merci beaucoup d'avance

I'm going to introduce the notion of places and forms of power.
First I will give a definition of power. Then I will talk about several documents on this notion and more precisely the relation between (the) black and (the) White people.
do people of different culture can live in harmony ?
A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person.) The person who has the power dominate the other who must obey.
The documents which I will speak/talk is an illustration of this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography.
It is about the stolen generation and living coonditions in a settlement, for Aboriginals children in order to be educated by European people. They lived in terrible conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention described as a small room with a sandy floor. There was no sheets or pillows exept on special occasion, when there was an inspection by prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there were wire screens and iron bars on/onto the windows.
We can say that this place was a concentration camp. The children were forbidden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raised and educated according to white people's ways.
The last sentence shows that Molly will never accept these rules. "After call and lights out, Moly listenedto the side of the bolt and the rattle of the padlock, then silence. It was at that moment this free-spirited girl(s) knew that she and her sisters must escape from this place". She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
Another document I would like to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an Aboriginal woman, which illustrates the opposition between black and white people. We can see that there is a constant opposition between "no more" and "now" which shows that the narrator is against/opposite to the European culture.
The last document is a speech of Kevin Rudd's. He says "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. Because the Europeans have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginals. He said that the Aboriginals are part of the country such as the Europeans



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de laure95, postée le 11-03-2016 à 18:56:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
-between (the) black and (the) White people: soit tu mets THE BLACK, soit black people.
- do people of (pas la bonne préposition)different culture (à mettre au pluriel) can live in harmony ?
- The person who has the power dominate (conjugaison: le sujet de dominate est: "the person) the other who must obey.
-The documents which I will speak/talk: les 2 verbes sont corrects, choisis.

- coonditions: faute de frappe.
- Aboriginals (un adjectif ne se met pas au pluriel) children
- There was no sheets or pillows: THERE WAS + SINGULIER
- white people's ways (of life).
- It was at that moment this free-spirited girl(s)(enlever le "s" + THIS ne s'emploie pas au passé) knew

- the narrator is against/opposite to the European culture: AGAINST.

Où est la conclusion?




Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de lopezmyriam23, postée le 12-03-2016 à 10:26:48 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci beaucoup Laure95 pour ton aide j'ai corrigé les fautes, voici le nouveau texte :
Si quelqu'un a des remarques n'hésitez pas à m'en faire part. Merci

I'm going to introduce the notion of places and forms of power.
First I will give a definition of power. Then I will talk about several documents on this notion and more precisely the relation between the black and the White.
do people from differents cultures can live in harmony ?
A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person.) The person who has the power dominates the other who must obey.
The documents which I will talk is an illustration of this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography.
It is about the stolen generation and living conditions in a settlement, for Aboriginal children in order to be educated by European people. They lived in terrible conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention described as a small room with a sandy floor. There were no sheets or pillows exept on special occasion, when there was an inspection by prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there were wire screens and iron bars on/onto the windows.
We can say that this place was a concentration camp. The children were forbidden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raised and educated according to white people's ways of life.
The last sentence shows that Molly will never accept these rules. "After call and lights out, Moly listenedto the side of the bolt and the rattle of the padlock, then silence. It was at that moment that free-spirited girl knew that she and her sisters must escape from this place". She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
Another document I would like to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an Aboriginal woman, which illustrates the opposition between black and white people. We can see that there is a constant opposition between "no more" and "now" which shows that the narrator is against to the European culture.
The last document is a speech of Kevin Rudd's. He says "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. Because the Europeans have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginals. He said that the Aboriginals are part of the country such as the Europeans



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de laure95, postée le 12-03-2016 à 17:00:42 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- do people from differents (un adjectif ne se met pas au pluriel)cultures can live in harmony ?
- The documents which I will talk (ajouter une préposition)is an illustration of this human hierarchy.
- Moreover, there were wire screens and iron bars on/onto the windows.
- the narrator is against to the European culture: enlever TO.
- The last document is a speech of Kevin Rudd's: pourquoi "'s"?



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de lopezmyriam23, postée le 13-03-2016 à 07:34:57 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci Laure pour tes corrections, j'ai pu apprendre de nouvelles choses, super. J'ai étoffé ma conclusion avec une ouverture (enfin je crois qu'on peut appeler a ouverture...)


I'm going to introduce the notion of places and forms of power.
First I will give a definition of power. Then I will talk about several documents on this notion and more precisely the relation between the black and the White.
do people from different cultures can live in harmony ?
A power is a right or an autority given or delegated to a person.) The person who has the power dominates the other who must obey.
The documents which I will talk about is an illustration of this human hierarchy.
The first document is "Away from home", written by an Aboriginal woman (Molly). It is an autobiography.
It is about the stolen generation and living conditions in a settlement, for Aboriginal children in order to be educated by European people. They lived in terrible conditions, for example, the sentence "they got the strap". The "boob" (nikname of this jail) was a place of detention described as a small room with a sandy floor. There were no sheets or pillows exept on special occasion, when there was an inspection by prominent officials,of course. Moreover, there were wire screens and iron bars on/onto the windows.
We can say that this place was a concentration camp. The children were forbidden to talk their own language because they had been taken there to be raised and educated according to white people's ways of life.
The last sentence shows that Molly will never accept these rules. "After call and lights out, Moly listenedto the side of the bolt and the rattle of the padlock, then silence. It was at that moment that free-spirited girl knew that she and her sisters must escape from this place". She is strong-willed and she will do her best to escape from the settlement.
Another document I would like to talk about is a poem "no more boomrang" written by an Aboriginal woman, which illustrates the opposition between black and white people. We can see that there is a constant opposition between "no more" and "now" which shows that the narrator is against the European culture.
The last document is a speech of Kevin Rudd. He says "sorry". Sorry for the stolen generation. Because the Europeans have hurt/injured/ the Aboriginals. He said that the Aboriginals are part of the country such as the Europeans
We see that the relations between the strong (Europeans)and the weak (Aboriginal). This powerful relation have/has existed since the great discoveries and yet (unfortunately) still continue today. With the globalisation the differences of the living condition decrease but there is also great differences. People in developed countries have a longer life and better conditions.
In conclusion we can say that the people who have the power dominate other nations. This one can only obey.
We see that there is a hierarchy among people. Who dominates is the king of developed countries and the developing countries.
This is one of the causes of the loss/death of some cutures . In forcing people into submission, the Europeans forced them/ all the weak people, to abandon their traditions and must accept those of Western.
we can think about the second world war and more precisely the persecution of Jews . These latter had only two choices, flee or die in camps. There are still consequences, such as/like the Israeli–Palestinian conflict.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-03-2016 11:40



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de laure95, postée le 13-03-2016 à 17:26:40 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- do people from different cultures can live in harmony ?
- The documents which I will talk about is (conjguaison: le sujet est au pluriel)an illustration of this human hierarchy.

- We (can)see that (enlever)the relations between the strong (Europeans)and the weak (Aboriginal).
- This powerful relation have/has (le sujet est au singulier)existed since the great discoveries and yet (unfortunately) still continue (conjugaison) today.
- With the (enlever THE)globalisation the differences of the living condition decrease but there is also great différences (THERS IS + SINJULIER.

- Who dominates (pluriel) is (pluriel)the king of developed countries and the developing countries.
This is one of the causes of the loss/death of some cutures: DEATH.

Ouverture intéressante à la fin de ta conclusion.



Réponse: Bac/places and forms of power de lopezmyriam23, postée le 29-03-2016 à 13:00:20 (S | E)
Bonjour tout le monde,
j’espère que Pâques s'est bien passé. J'ai bien suivi vos conseils, merci beaucoup




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