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Message de winni92 posté le 17-04-2017 à 15:37:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale et je vais bientôt passer mon épreuve d'oral. J'ai rédigé ma synthèse sur la notion "Mythe et héros" , j'aimerai bien qu'on la corrige et qu'on me donne des avis pour savoir si elle répond aux attentes de l'épreuve.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses !!!
I'm going to talk about the notion « Myths et heroes». First let me give you a quick definition of the notion. Myth is a popular story often led by a Hero which tries to guide the society toward certain values, or some ideal. A hero is a courageous person who is ready to sacrifice himself to accomplish extraordinary deeds. This year we concentrated our studies on the United States. Indeeds we saw that the american culture is based on many myths known in the worldwide which are sometimes represented by its national heroes. That's why we can raise the following question : To what exent Americans myths does influence society perception of succes ? I will first deal with the American Dream then I will deal with the myth of the self-made man.
1) The American Dream
To define the concept of the American dream, I'll say that it is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises and very attractive for everyone , no matter what your social, ethnic, racial background is. In class we watched Louis Malle's documentary about immigration to the USA ,entitled «... And the poursuit of hapiness ». It showed us several examples of people who made a fortune once arrived in the country. I retain two strinking testimonies : that of the costarican José Chandias, the first astronaut who was not born in USA and took part in several missions on the shuttle. He is frequently mentioned by Obama in his speech as a model for his educational sucess.Also that of the Patel family who came from India and thanks to their sacrifices now run two motels and live in a luxury house. Both of them told they owe their social rise to the America.
2) The myth of the Self Made Man
A self-made man is someone who learnt everything alone and has been able to succeed by rigorous work. Steeve Jobs is an american businessman and an industrial designer. He is a philantropist hero and a figure of success that perfectly illustrates this myth. We studied his speech at the Stanford graduation ceremony where he told his rags-to-riches story. We noted that after a difficult chilhood,he dropped out of school and started from scrach his company «Apple» in his adoptive parent's garage. He faced many obstacles but continued to be tenacious and to presse on regarless. This is how he mannaged to build an empire and reach the top. Now Apple has revolutionized the global digital marquet and is worth 2 billion$. Steve Jobs is an example of personn who started at the bottom ,made sacrifices and climbed the social ladder.
To conclude, on the one hand I will say that Americans myths does influence society perception of sucess because it lets people think that anybody living in America, thanks to courage, work and determination, can succeed. People can start from scratch and make fortunes. But on the other, according to me ,american myth can badly influence the society by being too focused on the quest for money that is presented as the only way to be happy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-04-2017 16:51
Message de winni92 posté le 17-04-2017 à 15:37:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale et je vais bientôt passer mon épreuve d'oral. J'ai rédigé ma synthèse sur la notion "Mythe et héros" , j'aimerai bien qu'on la corrige et qu'on me donne des avis pour savoir si elle répond aux attentes de l'épreuve.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses !!!
I'm going to talk about the notion « Myths et heroes». First let me give you a quick definition of the notion. Myth is a popular story often led by a Hero which tries to guide the society toward certain values, or some ideal. A hero is a courageous person who is ready to sacrifice himself to accomplish extraordinary deeds. This year we concentrated our studies on the United States. Indeeds we saw that the american culture is based on many myths known in the worldwide which are sometimes represented by its national heroes. That's why we can raise the following question : To what exent Americans myths does influence society perception of succes ? I will first deal with the American Dream then I will deal with the myth of the self-made man.
1) The American Dream
To define the concept of the American dream, I'll say that it is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises and very attractive for everyone , no matter what your social, ethnic, racial background is. In class we watched Louis Malle's documentary about immigration to the USA ,entitled «... And the poursuit of hapiness ». It showed us several examples of people who made a fortune once arrived in the country. I retain two strinking testimonies : that of the costarican José Chandias, the first astronaut who was not born in USA and took part in several missions on the shuttle. He is frequently mentioned by Obama in his speech as a model for his educational sucess.Also that of the Patel family who came from India and thanks to their sacrifices now run two motels and live in a luxury house. Both of them told they owe their social rise to the America.
2) The myth of the Self Made Man
A self-made man is someone who learnt everything alone and has been able to succeed by rigorous work. Steeve Jobs is an american businessman and an industrial designer. He is a philantropist hero and a figure of success that perfectly illustrates this myth. We studied his speech at the Stanford graduation ceremony where he told his rags-to-riches story. We noted that after a difficult chilhood,he dropped out of school and started from scrach his company «Apple» in his adoptive parent's garage. He faced many obstacles but continued to be tenacious and to presse on regarless. This is how he mannaged to build an empire and reach the top. Now Apple has revolutionized the global digital marquet and is worth 2 billion$. Steve Jobs is an example of personn who started at the bottom ,made sacrifices and climbed the social ladder.
To conclude, on the one hand I will say that Americans myths does influence society perception of sucess because it lets people think that anybody living in America, thanks to courage, work and determination, can succeed. People can start from scratch and make fortunes. But on the other, according to me ,american myth can badly influence the society by being too focused on the quest for money that is presented as the only way to be happy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-04-2017 16:51
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de laure95, postée le 17-04-2017 à 17:33:54 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- Myth is a popular story often led by a Hero which (pas le bon relatif)tries to guide the society toward certain values,
- Indeeds: faute d'orthographe.
- american: majuscule.
- To what exent Americans myths does influence society perception of succes ?: revoir la construction d'une question.
1) The American Dream
- no matter what your social, ethnic, racial background is: mettre le verbe au pluriel.
-that of the (pas de the) costarican (majsucule)José Chandias, the first astronaut who was not born in (article)USA
- He is (passé)frequently mentioned by Obama
- Also that of the Patel family
- the (pas de the)America.
2) The myth of the Self Made Man
- A self-made man is someone who learnt (présent)everything alone
- american
- He (has) faced many obstacles
-presse: orthographe.
- he mannaged: orthographe + mettre au présent perfect.
- Steve Jobs is an example of (article)personn (orthographe) who (has)started at the bottom
- Americans (pas de s)myths does (pluriel)influence society (marque de la possession)perception of sucess
- thanks to (mettre un possessif)courage, work and determination,
- make fortunes (singulier). But on the other (hand), according to me ,(article)american (majuscule) myth
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de winni92, postée le 17-04-2017 à 20:30:54 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de winni92, postée le 23-04-2017 à 19:20:25 (S | E)
J'ai modifié mes fautes , j'espère qu'il y en a plus , j'ai rajouté une phrase de transition , pouvez vous me dire si elle est bonne (pertinente, Merci encore !
I'm going to talk about the notion « Myths et heroes». First let me give you a quick definition of the notion. Myth is a popular story often led by a Hero who tries to guide the society toward certain values, or some ideal. A hero is a courageous person who is ready to sacrifice himself to accomplish extraordinary deeds. This year we concentrated our studies on the United States. Indeed we saw that the American culture is based on many myths known in the worldwide which are sometimes represented by its national heroes. That's why we can raise the following question : To what exent Americans myths do influence society's perception of success ? I will first deal with the American Dream then I will deal with the myth of the self-made man.
1) The American Dream
To define the concept of the American dream, I'll say that it is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises and very attractive for everyone , no matter what your social, ethnic, racial background are. In class we watched Louis Malle's documentary about immigration to the USA ,entitled «... And the poursuit of hapiness ». It showed us several examples of people who made a fortune once arrived in the country. I retain two strinking testimonies : that of Costarican José Chandias, the first astronaut who was not born in the USA and took part in several missions on the shuttle. He is frequently mentioned by Obama in his speech as a model for his educational sucess.Also that of Patel family who came from India and thanks to their sacrifices now run two motels and live in a luxury house. Both of them told they owe their social rise to America.
Apart from the American dream, the myth of the self made man would also be creaor of success.
2) The myth of the Self Made Man
A self-made man is someone who learnt everything alone and has been able to succeed by rigorous work. That's why we examined the portrait of Steeve Jobs. Steve Jobs was an wealthy American businessman and an industrial designer who became the emblem of hih technology. He was a philantropist hero and a figure of success that perfectly illustrates this myth. We studied his speech at the Stanford graduation ceremony where he told his rags-to-riches story. First,we noted that he had a tormented chilhood, her biological mother was still only a student when she became pregnant, she could'nt afford to take care of him and decided to entrust him to an adoption agncy. Later when he grew up in a modest family
he dropped out of school and started from scrach his company «Apple» in his adoptive parent's garage. He has faced many obstacles but continued to be tenacious and to press on regarless. This is how he managed to build an empire and reach the top. Unfortunately he died in 2011 because of cancer. However he leaves behind a huge technological legacy since now Apple has revolutionized the global digital market and is worth 2 billion$. Steve Jobs is an example of the personne who has started at the bottom ,made sacrifices and climbed the social ladder.
To conclude, on the one hand I will say that Americans myth do influence society's perception of sucess because it lets people think that anybody living in America, thanks to his courage, work and determination, can succeed. People can start from scratch and make fortune. But on the other hand , according to me, the Americans myth can badly influence the society by being too focused on the quest for money that is presented as the only way to be happy.
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de kazwell, postée le 23-04-2017 à 20:11:38 (S | E)
Hello hello !
If it's not disrespectful laure , let me give a hand too
Since I'm not confident in my knowledge of english structure writing , I'll only point out errors in other areas :
guide
myths known
To what exent Americans myths do influence society's perception of success ? : Écoute la remarque de laure , le does était correct , c'était la construction de la phrase qu'il fallait revoir ---> Question Formula
I will first deal .... will deal with the myth ... : utilise un autre verbe car le contexte ne convient pas.
strinking : orthographe.
for his educational sucess : juste une petite question , tu veux dire que Obama le présente comme un modèle parce que José a réussi sa vie ? si oui alors c'est bon , si tu veux plutôt dire qu'Obama présente José comme un exemple que l'éducation mène à la réussite , alors il faut enlever le his.
creaor of success : ???
A self-made man is someone who learnt everything : Encore un fois , lis au moins toutes les remarques de laure d'abord.
her biological mother : I didn't know that Stevie was transvestite , joke aside , wrong pronoun.
could'nt : wrong , just google it....
agncy : orthographe.
sucess: orthographe.
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de winni92, postée le 23-04-2017 à 22:46:18 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup d'avoir pris le temps de lire !
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