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EO/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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EO/Spaces and exchanges
Message de capucine1 posté le 01-05-2017 à 16:33:38 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon EO du Bac d'anglais dans quelques jours... Si vous pouviez me donner quelques conseils et corrections j'en serais ravie !
Je vous remercie par avance de votre aide.

We are now facing the impact of what the arrival of white settlers created in three countries. Yet this is a topical issue as the word today is also a world where populations are forced to move and adjust to new cultures. However hard they try to make up for all these horrifying policies, first nations and Australian aborigines are unlikely to recover from what they suffered from. There is no denying that these policies are the reason why so many aborigines suffer from alcoholism or drug abuse. So, to what extent apologies have really solved problems?

First of all, what happened? What was the origin of the problem? In Australia the government aims at civilize young aborigines and inculcate them European values. From the 1800s, the lighter-skinned aboriginal children were removed from their families at a young age. In consequences the contact with their family was limited as well as their culture and community, the lighter ones were adopted by European while the darker were sent to missionary camps. In the concentration camps there were sexual abuses, exploitation and so on... Moreover, some even dye their skin with the sap of the milk wood trees so that they seem darker. Those thousands of children are called the stolen generation. Canada has got quite the same past, indeed, the French conquered Canada and the white supremacy, including the British colonization, aims at an industrial revolution. As the stolen generation in Australia, children were forced to assimilate to the white culture and religion. They were therefore taken away from their family and put in residential schools were they have no right to speak their language as well as physically, mentally and sexually abused. From 1883 to 1998 about 150.000 children were put in residential school, including 6.000 children who died as a result of the mistreatment.

But how the government had tried to repair their mistakes? In 1990s, a scandal broke out in Australia, but the federal government decided to pass a motion of “deep and sincere regret”, but refuse repeatedly to apologize. The prime minister argued that a formal apology would reinforce a sense of victimhood in Aboriginal communities, and that modern-day Australians were not the authors of the policy, so therefore had nothing for which apologize. The citizens reacted rapidly, indeed, a huge range of community activities took place across Australia on Sorry Day in 1998. In 2005 the National Sorry Day Committee renamed Sorry Day as a National Day of Healing for all Australians. It’s only in 2008 that the government finally decided to apology, included a proposal for a policy commission to close the gap between indigenous and non-indigenous Australians. In Canada, former students made allegations of physical, psychological, sexual abuse and neglect. In 2008 the prime minister apologized for abuse in residential schools, raising hopes that revelations between aboriginal Canadians and their fellow citizens could be mended. In June 2008 it’s also the creation of the TR Commission, the agreement sought to begin repairing the harm caused by residential schools. After seven years of sometimes excruciating testimony, the commission issued 94 recommendations.

Finally, had the apologies been efficient? In Australia, not really, the idea of the government’s spending money on education and housing doesn’t really correspond to the aborigines’ nomadic way of life. It is quite shocking to see the predicament of the present generation of aborigines who has become totally uprooted, and can neither come back to its traditional lifestyle nor adjust to modern life. Right now there’s a lot of racism and a lot of people don’t know about what they’ve been through. It is puzzling to see how long it took the Canadian authorities to fully acknowledge the abuse First Nations endured with the residential school. It's worth noticing that Canada has tried to implement real measures to improve the welfare of the First Nations; it is also striking to see they separated symbolical measures (they will now teach reconciliation in schools) from concrete policies (they made a list of call of actions for example increasing funding for educating children).

To conclude, when we compare what happened in Australia and Canada, we can clearly see that the problem came from the prejudices that Whites had toward aboriginal culture. In both cases, kidnapping the children was a cultural genocide, a story of forced assimilation where cultural identity and human rights were violated. Not only did they deprive these children from the family life they had, but on top of that, they also stole their cultural identity.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-05-2017 14:02


Réponse : EO/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 02-05-2017 à 10:28:17 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Phrase de présentation de la notion?
Définition des termes de la notion?
We are now facing the impact of what the arrival of white settlers (have) created in three countries.
So, to what extent apologies have (have n'est pas à la bonne place)really solved problems?
Annonce du plan?

- In Australia the government aims at civilize (at + verbe+ -ing)young aborigines and inculcate them European values.
- From the (pas de the)1800s, the lighter-skinned aboriginal children were removed from
- In consequences (pas de s")the contact
- Moreover, some even dye (passé)their skin with the sap of the milk wood trees so that they seem (passé) darker.
- put in residential schools were (orthographe)they have (passé)no right to speak their language

- But how the government had (have pas had)tried to repair their mistakes?
- but refuse (passé) repeatedly to apologize.
- so therefore (sujet?) had nothing for which (to) apologize.
- In June 2008 it’s (passé)also the creation

- Finally, had (have pas had)the apologies been efficient?
- In Australia, not really, the idea of the government’s (pas de 's) spending money on education and housing
- It is puzzling to see how long it took (present perfect)the Canadian authorities to fully acknowledge

Tu ne fais référence à aucun document!



Réponse : EO/Spaces and exchanges de capucine1, postée le 02-05-2017 à 18:17:37 (S | E)
Bonsoir, encore merci pour la correction !
Pour ce qui est de l'intro, cette remarque m'a été faite par d'autres utilisateurs également. Au lycée, notre prof nous a dit de faire une problématique basée sur un exemple récent, histoire de se mettre dans le bain direct. Elle nous a conseillé de faire une intro du type "récemment il s'est passé ceci... aujourd'hui on peut donc se demander si... [problématique], pour cela nous allons [annonce du plan]". Pensez-vous que je dois quand même définir les termes?
Pour ce qui est des documents, je ne dois pas décrire ce que j'ai vu dedans puisque je ne suis pas en L, je dois juste illustrer mes idées par plusieurs exemples... (D'après ce que notre prof nous a dit également...)
En tout cas, pour cette notion, nous avons fait une sorte de cours et n'avons aucun document... Donc je ne suis pas sûre de pouvoir changer quelque chose dans cette notion si ce n'est que mes erreurs...




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