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Correction/Oral

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Oral
Message de miisao posté le 10-05-2017 à 00:18:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je passe bientôt mon oral d'anglais et j'aurais besoin d'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour vos réponses.

The novel I will present you is named : “Looking for Alaska”.
It was written by John Green, a young american writer, and it was published in the united states in two thousand five.
John Green was born on August the twenty-forth in nineteen seventy-seven, in Florida. “Looking for Alaska” was its first novel, which was inspired by his experiences in Idian springs school.

In the novel, we meet Miles Halter, an ordinary teenager with an ordinary life.
One day, he decided to leave Florida to enter in Culver Creek, his father’s old school. He hoped to change his life and to meet new people. Over there, he decided to defy the rules with his new friend : Alaska Young, Chip Martin and Takumi. Because he felt in love with Alaska, he wanted to learn more about her. But Alaska is an enigmatic girl. Through his history, Miles makes us discover the painful past of Alaska.

I began to read this book unmotivated. It was slow to start. But John Green was able to catch my attention with his writing style. The story is write from the point of view of Miles, as though He shared us his story. The texte is simple to understand and I was carried away by the adventure of Miles (Miles’s adventure). I meet with him, Alaska, Chip and Takumi and I learned more about them. I’ve become attached to them, and I had the impression of share their story. Initialy, this book made me laugh, then it made me sad.
“Looking for Alaska” was my first novel which I read.

« Looking for Alaska » had great success thanks to another novel of Jonh Green named “The fault in our stars”. This novel was suitable in cinema.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-05-2017 09:05


Réponse : Correction/Oral de gerold, postée le 11-05-2017 à 17:34:55 (S | E)
Bonjour miisao,

The novel I will present you is named : ?Looking for Alaska?.
It was written by John Green, a young american (majuscule) writer, and it was published in the united states (idem) in two thousand five.
John Green was born on August the twenty-forth in nineteen seventy-seven, in Florida. ?Looking for Alaska? was its (il faut un autre adjectif possessif) first novel, which was inspired by his experiences in Idian springs (orthographe et majuscule)school.

In the novel, we meet Miles Halter, an ordinary teenager with an ordinary life.
One day, he decided to leave Florida to enter in (to enter se construit sans préposition) Culver Creek, his father's old school. He hoped to change his life and to meet new people. Over there, he decided to defy the rules with his new friend (il y en a plusieurs): Alaska Young, Chip Martin and Takumi. Because he felt (to fall, conjugaison) in love with Alaska, he wanted to learn more about her. But Alaska is an enigmatic girl. Through his history (story), Miles makes us discover the painful past of Alaska.

I began to read this book unmotivated. It was slow to start. But John Green was able to catch my attention with his writing style. The story is write (participe passé) from the point of view of Miles, as though He (pourquoi une majuscule?) shared us his story (to share something with somebody). The texte (orthographe) is simple to understand and I was carried away by the adventure of Miles (Miles's adventure mieux). I meet (plutôt au passé) with him, Alaska, Chip and Takumi and I learned more about them. I've become attached to them, and I had the impression of share (forme du verbe après une préposition) their story. Initialy (orthographe), this book made me laugh, then it made me sad.
"Looking for Alaska" was my first novel which I read (mon premier roman que j`ai lu, vous ne diriez pas cela en français).

« Looking for Alaska » had great success thanks to another novel of Jonh Green named "The fault in our stars". This novel was suitable in cinema (vous voulez dire sans doute adapté pour le/au cinéma, ce n`est pas suitable).

Repostez votre texte quand vous l`aurez corrigé s`il vous plaît.



Réponse : Correction/Oral de miisao, postée le 13-05-2017 à 19:26:43 (S | E)
Bonjour gerold, merci pour votre aide et voici mon texte corrigé :

The novel I will present you is named : "Looking for Alaska".
It was written by John Green, a young American writer, and it was published in the United States in two thousand five.
John Green was born on August the twenty-forth in nineteen seventy-seven, in Florida. "Looking for Alaska" was his first novel, which was inspired by his experiences in Idian Spring School.

In the novel, we meet Miles Halter, an ordinary teenager with an ordinary life.
One day, he decided to leave Florida to enter Culver Creek, his father's old school. He hoped to change his life and to meet new people. Over there, he decided to defy the rules with his new friends : Alaska Young, Chip Martin and Takumi. Because he fell in love with Alaska, he wanted to learn more about her. But Alaska is an enigmatic girl. Through his story, Miles makes us discover the painful past of Alaska.

I began to read this book unmotivated. It was slow to start. But John Green was able to catch my attention with his writing style. The story is written from the point of view of Miles, as if he was sharing his story with us. The text was simple to understand and I was carried away by Mile's adventure. I met with him, Alaska, Chip and Takumi and I learned more about them. I became attached to them, and I had the impression of sharing their story. Initialy (orthographe), this book made me laugh, then it made me sad.
"Looking for Alaska" was the first novel which I read.

« Looking for Alaska » had great success thanks to another novel of John Green named "The fault in our stars". This novel was adapted to cinema (vous voulez dire sans doute adapté pour le/au cinéma, ce n`est pas suitable).



Réponse : Correction/Oral de gerold, postée le 14-05-2017 à 11:08:39 (S | E)
Bonjour miisao,

The novel I will present you is named : "Looking for Alaska".
It was written by John Green, a young American writer, and it was published in the United States in two thousand five.
John Green was born on August the twenty-forth in nineteen seventy-seven, in Florida. "Looking for Alaska" was his first novel, which was inspired by his experiences in Indian Springs School.

In the novel, we meet Miles Halter, an ordinary teenager with an ordinary life.
One day, he decided to leave Florida to enter Culver Creek, his father's old school. He hoped to change his life and to meet new people. Over there, he decided to defy the rules with his new friends : Alaska Young, Chip Martin and Takumi. Because he fell in love with Alaska, he wanted to learn more about her. But Alaska is an enigmatic girl. Through his story, Miles makes us discover the painful past of Alaska.

I began to read this book unmotivated. It was slow to start. But John Green was able to catch my attention with his writing style. The story is written from the point of view of Miles, as if he was sharing his story with us. The text was simple to understand and I was carried away by Mile's adventure. I met with him, Alaska, Chip and Takumi and I learned more about them. I became attached to them, and I had the impression of sharing their story. Initially , this book made me laugh, then it made me sad.
"Looking for Alaska" was the first novel which I read.

« Looking for Alaska » had great success thanks to another novel of John Green named "The fault in our stars". This novel was adapted for the cinema.

Votre texte me semble bon maintenant. Je me demande cependant s`il est assez long.



Réponse : Correction/Oral de gerondif, postée le 14-05-2017 à 11:21:55 (S | E)
Bo njour,
il me sembe que presetn marche avec to, cf le dictionnaire en ligne:
present [sb] to [sb] vtr + prep formal (person: introduce to [sb]) présenter⇒ vtr
Governor, may I present to you Mr Johnson?
Monsieur le Gouverneur, permettez-moi de vous présenter M. Johnson.

The novel I will present you is named : "Looking for Alaska".
It was written by John Green, a young American writer, and it was published in the United States in two thousand five.(à l'américaine, sinon, il faudrait dire in two thousand and five)
John Green was born on August the twenty-forth,(virgule) in nineteen seventy-seven, in Florida. "Looking for Alaska" was his first novel, which was inspired by his experiences in Indian Springs School.

In the novel, we meet Miles Halter, an ordinary teenager with an ordinary life.
One day, he decided to leave Florida to enter (o registerin, to go to , seraient plus courants) Culver Creek, his father's old school. He hoped to change his life and to meet new people. Over there, he decided to defy the rules with his new friends : Alaska Young, Chip Martin and Takumi. Because he fell in love with Alaska, he wanted to learn more about her. But Alaska is an enigmatic girl. Through his story, Miles makes us discover the painful past of Alaska.

I began to read this book unmotivated. It was slow to start(bizarre, ce n'est pas le livre qui est lent à démarrer, c'est vous qui avez eu du mal à rentrer dedans). But John Green was able to catch my attention with his writing style. The story is written from the point of view of Miles, as if he was sharing his story with us. The text was simple to understand and I was carried away by Mile's adventure. I met with him, Alaska, Chip and Takumi and I learned more about them. I became attached to them, and I had the impression of sharing (on pourrait mettre aussi I shared ou i was sharing, à mon avis plus vivant dans le texte)their story. Initially , this book made me laugh, then (but then, but in the end) it made me sad.
"Looking for Alaska" was the first novel which (plutôt that, ou rien) I read.

« Looking for Alaska » had great success (on dit plutôt was very successful) thanks to another novel of(by) John Green named "The fault in our stars". This novel was adapted for the cinema.




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