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Lettre motivation /Erasmus

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Lettre motivation /Erasmus
Message de zoltetan posté le 02-02-2014 à 19:22:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

demain je dois rendre mon dossier Erasmus, je n'ai pas réussi à trouver des personnes susceptibles de corriger les imperfections de mes lettres( il y en a deux).
J'espère que vous pouvez m'aider même si la correction ne concerne qu'un petit paragraphe!
Merci pour votre aide.
Bonne soirée!

Dear professors,

My curiosity and my wish to discover new horizons caused me to find my inspiration in my travel. These discoveries gave me the desire to share these moods and emotions and to enrich my projects.

During my trip in Netherlands, I discovered flat landscapes where the rivers , livestock and agriculture are mixed . Unlike China , and the United States where the car remains commons in the urban space, I was surprised when I visited Amsterdam to discover a new world : bicycles and pedestrians. The mood was different .

Denmark , country specialize in ecology, agriculture and nature conservation , has excellent living conditions . For this year at the University of Copenhagen , I found essential for my landscape experience to study and live in a city which grew up with these environmental concerns and urban planning .
In Copenhagen , the car is outside the city and urban toll is even installed to avoid cars. In a city where the Strøget is the longest pedestrian area in Europe, what are the effects on the businesses and public spaces ? How are the deliveries conducted? What is the new urban landscape? What is the mood created ? I'm interested about the connection between architecture and public space. The BIG agency called to mind me by his unusual creations and especially the universal exposition building in Shanghai. With this building designed for the cycles, there are not physical barriers between the interior and exterior , both are linked by a same use .

In addition, Denmark causes a large current problem ; the energy. First windmill manufacturer in the world , 20% of the energy consumed in Denmark comes of windmills. Thus, live close this new landscape, it's the opportunity to me to have an opinion about its future and its benefits. How are the windmill accepted by residents and country dweller? What does the mood and landscape create? As Denmark has a territory with short hills, how are it established to harmonize with the landscape?

Five years ago, a work experience in a starred gourmet cooking restaurant and the exhibition "Cookbook" in Paris gave me the possibility to find my inspiration in the cooking. The landscape is like a dish: We stare hungrily at landscape before going inside to listen , touch, smell it, taste it. By doing my internship in DH agency (Paris) where I designed a garden for the vineyard "Cheval Blanc" (Bordeaux, France)) , by working one month in the garden of the king at Versailles, and my Studio project 6 , I realized that his rural picture can changed to become an urban areas by drawing with contemporary forms . Thus, in a country which is nicknamed " vegetable garden " where more than 66 % of the area is cultivated and the allotments are very popular . (Lergravsparken.) The cooking is also very famous with cooker like Rasmus Kofoed or René Redzepi.I would like to understand the relationship between culture and cooking thanks to the urban ecology teaching , the proximity of the Agricultural teaching and the weeds garden.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-02-2014 23:20


Réponse: Lettre motivation /Erasmus de annoup, postée le 02-02-2014 à 23:06:24 (S | E)
salut ! Bonjour,

Pour les lettres de motivation, il y a une structure à respecter :
- Il n'est pas possible, dans une lettre de motivation de mettre Dear, sans avoir de nom derrière.
- expliquer le poste visé
- parler des qualifications pour aller dans cette université
- explique les motivations, les expériences dans d'autre pays
- faire reférence à CV et proposé un entretien, proposer des références.
- ensuite, à la fin de la lettre de motivation, voici une suggestion de phrase :
- "I look forward to hearing from you and meeting you in the very near future.
- Your sincery,
- Votre nom
- (précisez enclosure : CV, s'il faut le joindre)

J'espère que cela vous aidera.
A part ceci, je trouve que la trouve lettre est bien rédigée.
Bonne soirée !


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-02-2014 23:22
Your sincery, .... êtes-vous sûre?



Réponse: Lettre motivation /Erasmus de gerondif, postée le 02-02-2014 à 23:15:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
(pour faire suite au message précédent, il est vrai que je trouve cette lettre peu conventionnelle)

My curiosity and my wish to discover new horizons caused me to find my inspiration in my travel*(pluriel). These discoveries gave me the desire to share these moods and emotions and to enrich my projects.

During my trip to the Netherlands, I discovered flat landscapes where the rivers , livestock and agriculture are mixed . Unlike China , and the United States where the cars remain common in the urban space, I was surprised when I visited Amsterdam to discover a new world : bicycles and pedestrians. The mood was different .

Denmark , a country specialized in ecology, agriculture and nature conservation , has excellent living conditions . For this year at the University of Copenhagen , I found essential for my landscape experience to study and live in a city which grew up with these environmental concerns and urban planning .
In Copenhagen , the car is outside the city and urban toll is even installed to avoid cars. In a city where the Strøget is the longest pedestrian area in Europe, what are the effects on the businesses and public spaces ? How are the deliveries conducted? What is the new urban landscape like? What is the mood created ? I'm interested in about the connection between architecture and public space. The BIG agency called to mind me (I was reminded of the BIG agency)by his(its) unusual creations and especially the universal exposition(exhibition) building in Shanghai. With this building designed for the cycles, there are not no physical barriers between the interior and the exterior , both are linked by a same use .

In addition, Denmark causes a large current problem ; the energy. First windmill manufacturer in the world , 20% of the energy consumed in Denmark comes offrom windmills. Thus, living close to this new landscape, it's is the opportunity to for me to have an opinion about its future and its benefits. How are the windmills accepted by residents and country dwellers? What does the mood and landscape create? As Denmark has a territory with short hills, how are it(confondre it et they fait un peu mal quand même )established to harmonize with the landscape?

Five years ago, a work experience in a starred gourmet cooking restaurant and the exhibition "Cookbook" in Paris gave me the possibility to find my inspiration in the cooking. The landscape is like a dish: We stare hungrily at a landscape before going inside to listen , touch, smell it, taste it. By doing my internship in DH agency (Paris) where I designed a garden for the vineyard "Cheval Blanc" (Bordeaux, France)) , by working one month in the garden of the king at Versailles, and my Studio project 6 , I realized that his rural picture can changed to become an urban areas by drawing with contemporary forms (sens?) . Thus, in a country which is nicknamed " vegetable garden " where more than 66 % of the area is cultivated and the allotments are very popular,..... (vous mettez deux subordonnées mais pas de principale) . (Lergravsparken.) The cooking is also very famous with cooker(a cooker est une cuisinière en fonte, en métal!) like Rasmus Kofoed or René Redzepi.I would like to understand the relationship between culture and cooking thanks to the urban ecology teaching , the proximity of the Agricultural teaching and the weeds garden.





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