Vérification/ Lettre Motivation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Vérification/ Lettre Motivation
Message de carrow07 posté le 11-07-2014 à 17:41:01 (S | E | F)
]Bonjour à tous !

Je viens solliciter votre aide pour vérifier l’orthographe d'une lettre de motivation pour un poste en Angleterre .
Il s'agit d'une annonce via une agence de recrutement, d'où le fait que je ne m'adresse pas directement à l'entreprise.
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait y jeter un coup d'oeil ?
Un grand merci pour votre aide !

Dear Hiring Manager,

I would like to apply for a position of Travel Trade Sales Executive with your partner organization. I believe that my experience as Sales Executive for a Tour Operator, together with my qualifications in Destination Management and my marketing competencies would be a good match for this position.

I have been involved in sales activities for one year within a Bangkok-based Tour Operator and DMC. I have served a number of functions from promoting the company’s services to the European market, developing and maintaining partnerships with new travel agents, to negotiating and contracting tourism products with local partners.

These operations have strengthened my knowledge of the tourism industry and my proficiency in promoting destination’s assets in an international context. French speaking and familiar with the European Travel market, I am confident that I would be able to handle your client’s French and Benelux market, and contribute to the continued success of the company.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I remain at your entire disposal for an interview.

Yours Sincerely,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-07-2014 21:16

Réponse: Vérification/ Lettre Motivation de here4u, postée le 13-07-2014 à 01:11:43 (S | E)
Hello

Dear Hiring Manager,(Dear Sir, would be much better ...!)

I would like to apply for a position of Travel Trade Sales Executive with your partner organization. I believe that my experience as Sales Executive for a Tour Operator, together with my qualifications in Destination Management and my marketing competencies would be a good match for this position.

I have been(tense ? are you still involved ? If not, you need a preterite ...) involved in sales activities for one year within a Bangkok-based Tour Operator and DMC. I have served (+voc?)(idem !) a number of functions from promoting the company’s services to(for?) the European market, developing and maintaining partnerships with new travel agents, to negotiating and contracting tourism products(?different products of tourism ?) with local partners.

These operations have strengthened my knowledge of the tourism industry(the industry of tourism) and my proficiency in promoting destination’s assets(the assets of some destinations ? ) in an international context. French speaking and familiar with the European Travel market, I am confident that I would be able to handle(take good care of/cope with/) your client’s French (your clients from France, Belgium, Luxembourg and the Netherlands) and Benelux market, and contribute to the continued success of the company.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I remain at your entire disposal for an interview and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Essayez de ne pas abuser des cas possessifs qui n'ont pas lieu d'être ... (green = suggestions. Blue = wrong or doubtful ...)

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons