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Correction lettre/stage

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux || En bas

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Correction lettre/stage
Message de laur posté le 14-03-2015 à 16:37:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je me permets de solliciter votre aide pour la correction d'une lettre de motivation pour un stage.
Merci par avance de votre aide!

I am a lawyer in training at XX Bar School and I am writing to apply for a 6 month internship starting in July with your office.

I completed a professional Master 2 in Business law (5 years university degree equivalent of master’s degree). I acquire advanced knowledge and skills in business law over the courses of company law, contract law, corporate tax or corporate accounting.
I had the opportunity to put my acquired knowledge into practice in a French law firm and within a multinational company.

I worked as an intern for the law firm X in the mergers and acquisitions department. In this internship, I assisted the lawyers on share capital increases or reductions. I drafted the legal documentation related to the approval of the annual report and accounts. I conducted research, drafted memo in corporate law.

Moreover, after my master’s degree I began a 6-month internship for the XX in the department Tax and corporate right. As a legal intern in corporate law I worked on foreign subsidiaries liquidation, capital restructuring or shares transfer with foreign lawyers. I also drafted delegation of authority, conducted legal research.

An internship with your office would give me an opportunity to improve my mastery of the English language and especially my command of the legal vocabulary. My previous legal experience, my full mastery of the French language and my strong academic background will enable me to make a valuable contribution to your department.

I have enclosed a resume highlighting my education and work experience. I hope to have the opportunity to interview with you about an internship position. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-03-2015 17:36


Réponse: Correction lettre/stage de gerondif, postée le 14-03-2015 à 17:23:05 (S | E)
Bonjour,
quelques détails,
I am a lawyer in training at XX Bar School and I am writing to apply for a 6-month internship starting in July with your office.

I completed a professional Master 2 in Business law (5 years university degree equivalent of to a master’s degree). I acquired advanced knowledge and skills in business law over the courses of(je ne sais pas si ça se dit/ by attending courses in) company law, contract law, corporate tax or corporate accounting.
I had the opportunity to put my acquired knowledge into practice in a French law firm and within a multinational company.

I worked as an intern for the X law firm in the mergers and acquisitions department. In this internship, I assisted the lawyers on share capital increases or reductions. I drafted the legal documentation related to the approval of the annual report and accounts. I conducted research, drafted memo in corporate law.

Moreover, after my master’s degree I began a 6-month internship for the XX in the department Tax and corporate right. As a legal intern in corporate law I worked on foreign subsidiaries liquidation, capital restructuring or shares transfer with foreign lawyers. I also drafted delegation of authority, conducted legal research.

An internship with your office would give me an opportunity to improve my mastery of the English language and especially my command of the legal vocabulary. My previous legal experience, my full mastery of the French language and my strong academic background will enable me to make a valuable contribution to your department.

I have enclosed a resume highlighting my education and work experience. I hope to have the opportunity to interview with you about an internship position. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,



Réponse: Correction lettre/stage de laur, postée le 14-03-2015 à 19:30:33 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vous remercie beaucoup pour ces corrections. l'expression "over the courses" me semblait également bancale .
Je vais essayer de simplifier cette phrase.




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Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux


 


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