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Article /correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Article /correction
Message de mamaa posté le 15-11-2018 à 12:35:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je viens à vous pour avoir votre aide sur un oral que j'ai à faire. C'est la présentation d'un article du New York Times que j'ai essayé de rédiger au mieux. Si vous avez quelques minutes à y consacrer pour me corriger un peu et me donner des conseils pour que ce soit plus fluide, ce serait super.
Merci d'avance!
Kamilia

Présentation de l'article:
In China, Desperate Patients Smuggle Drugs Or Make Their Own.
This article entitled « In China, Desperate Patients Smuggle Drugs. Or Make Their Own. » was published in The New york times website this monday.
The journalist deals with a big problem in China, the lack and the unaffordable price of drugs.
The aging Chinese population is increasingly affected by life-threatening diseases such as cancer and diabetes, but many can not find or afford drugs.
The country's health insurance does not cover the ever-increasing prices of medicines.
In fact, China approves very few drugs and when they arrive on the market very few Chinese have the means to buy them even if they have social coverage.
Coverage also depends on the place of residence and some rural residents still do not have access to certain medicines.
As a result rural resident in China is 30 percent more likely to die after a cancer diagnosis than an urban resident.
According to official figures, the disease remains the main reason why Chinese families are below the poverty line. In addition, there is a lack of drugs.
As a result, many Chinese people, are turning to online markets for illegal pharmaceuticals. In some cases, patients and their families make the drugs themselves by following the recipes online.
This was the case for Zhang Zhejun, whose mother had lung cancer.
The drugs were scarce and very expensive, so he desperately made the drugs despite having no experience in making drugs. He left work to help his mother. He spent sleepless nights looking for medicines in India for example and to learn about dosages.
He had bought the raw materials online without being sure of their quality
His mother died shortly after this interview.
To conclude, His story touched me a lot because I know that cancer is a very heavy disease for the patient as for the family. I find it unfair that everyone does not have access to proper treatment. The right to care is for me a fundamental right for every human.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-11-2018 13:49



Réponse : Article /correction de here4u, postée le 15-11-2018 à 22:03:01 (S | E)
Hello !

Bon ! je vais consacrer mes "quelques minutes" ...

Présentation de l'article:
In China, Desperate Patients Smuggle Drugs Or Make Their Own.
This article entitled « In China, Desperate Patients Smuggle Drugs. Or Make Their Own. » was published in The New york times website this monday.
The journalist deals with a big problem in China, the lack and the unaffordable price of drugs.(I see ... utiliser plutôt un autre mot !)
The aging Chinese population is increasingly affected by life-threatening diseases such as cancer and diabetes, but many can not(in one word) find or afford drugs.
The country's health insurance(is there one only?) does not cover the ever-increasing prices of medicines.
In fact, China approves very few drugs and when they arrive on the market very few Chinese have (the means to buy(chercher plutôt avec afford!) them even if they have social coverage.
Coverage also depends on the place of residence and some rural residents still do not have access to certain medicines.
As a result rural resident in China is(soit pluriel, soit ajouter quelque chose!) 30 percent more likely to die after a cancer diagnosis than an urban resident.
According to official figures, the disease remains? except if you mean "cancer"??? the main reason why Chinese families are below the poverty line. In addition, there is a lack of drugs.
As a result, many Chinese people, are turning to online markets for illegal pharmaceuticals. In some cases, patients and their families make the drugs themselves by following the recipes online.
This was the case for Zhang Zhejun, whose mother had lung cancer.
The drugs were scarce and very expensive, so he desperately made the drugs despite having no experience in making drugs. He left work to help his mother. He spent sleepless nights looking for medicines in India for example and to learn about dosages.
He had bought the raw materials online without being sure of their quality
His mother died shortly after this interview.
To conclude, His story touched me a lot because I know that cancer is a very heavy disease for the patient as for the family. I find it unfair that everyone does not have (voir leçon 105676) access to proper treatment. The right to care is for me a fundamental right for every human being.





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