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Exposé/corriger

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Exposé/corriger
Message de bonnetmrnn posté le 17-03-2020 à 11:41:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai un exposé à préparer pour cette semaine sur le thème "a week without my smartphone", j'ai passé une semaine sans téléphone et décrit mon expérience, j'ai rajouté des choses afin que ce soit un peu moins monotone, afin de limiter le nombre de fautes et d'améliorer la grammaire de celui-ci, j'aimerais avoir votre aide s'il vous plaît.
xxx
Par avance, merci pour votre aide!




Réponse : Exposé/corriger de bonnetmrnn, postée le 17-03-2020 à 11:41:58 (S | E)

I chose to spend a week without a phone because it was a social experience that I wanted to live, and that seemed accessible to me.
I chose to start the experience the week before the holidays and to write down the effects I felt as I went along in a notebook.
The day before starting the experience I informed my parents that I would not be available. They were not really reassured and asked me how they could reach me if there was an emergency, so I gave them a friend's mobile number.
I also had a lot of questions myself. Indeed it didn't seem very difficult to try the experience, but I mostly wondered about my organization. My mobile phone is like my diary or my secretary and without it I knew I would feel lost.
So I organized myself in advance and wrote down the essential information on my paper agenda: the homework I had to do, moments not to be missed like babysitting, a party or things to buy ect.
I thought I was ready to start the week by leaving my cell phone at home.

That same night when I went to bed, an idea crossed my mind. How could I wake up having forgotten my cell phone alarm clock? So I went to the room of a friend who lives in the same residence as me so that she could lend me her alarm clock.

Day 1: 8 o'clock rings, the sound of the strident alarm wakes me up with a start, I used to choose soft music to wake me up but this time I had no choice.
So I woke up in a bad mood and felt very tired. So I concluded that this day was not going to be as simple as I had hoped because it had been difficult from the beginning.

The first thing I do after I wake up is look at my phone to check my messages, so it felt a little weird to change my routine.

So I woke up straight away and got ready much faster than usual, for the first time since the beginning of the school year, I didn't go to university late.

After in the day everything went well, on Monday I have classes all day long so no time to get bored. The only time I missed my cell phone was at lunchtime when we were eating and I wanted to do some research, for a trip during the summer, but I couldn't do it.

In the evening when I came home, I ate, but I didn't go much on my cell phone, although I usually relax by watching videos. Instead I read part of a bilingual book called "the traveler".

Then I did my homework, and I checked my computer for e-mails. I don't know if you could call it cheating, but but it is essential.

I mainly used dictionaries and textbooks to do my homework, which took longer than when I use my smart phone to do quick research.

But in the end, I did it a lot faster than usual because I didn't have my cell phone to distract me. So I took fewer breaks than usual and thanks to that I went to bed much faster.

However, I was always afraid of missing important information, because I had nothing to communicate, I felt very isolated because I felt like I couldn't control everything.



The next day I woke up at the same time but it was much less difficult for me because I went to bed much earlier than usual. So I slept longer than just six hours and that made me feel much better.
The second day was the hardest day because I had a lot of breaks, and I felt the lack of my mobile phone a lot. I had the reflex during the day to look for my phone to check the notifications but I remembered a few seconds after I didn't have it anymore, so I found other things to do such as reading, coloring, drawing and I even got back to playing the guitar a little bit. I put my watch back which was in my bag and which I hadn't put on for a long time, it was handy so I wouldn't be late for class.
On Tuesday night I got up to go to the bathroom, looked for my cell phone on my bedside table in the dark and when I couldn't find it I went in the dark and banged my knee on the table and I had a bruise all week.

Wednesday I didn't have class, so I got up at 8:00 A.M., I was in great shape.
To take a break I went out running for about half an hour, something I never did because I didn't have the time. What bothered me was not being able to use the application I usually use when I run and which gives me indications like the precise time I ran, my speed, the number of calories lost, my next goal and full. I went to bed tired from that day which was very energetic contrary to what I might have thought, even without a phone no time to get bored.





Réponse : Exposé/corriger de bonnetmrnn, postée le 17-03-2020 à 11:42:40 (S | E)
I didn't really feel the positive effects of not having a mobile phone until Thursday. In fact, I had slept much better all week, so I was much less tired than usual. I felt more alive, in class I was more reactive and I understood much better what I was told. I was much more productive in my work. And I was in a much better mood than usual. I didn't feel dependent on my mobile phone, missing information and so on. It wasn't a necessity for me anymore. The only thing that bothered me was that my watch didn't work anymore and I had nothing to look at the time. So the last two days I also experienced the experience of living without time, but I didn't miss it either, because it went by so fast.

On Friday everything went well, I had really adopted a healthy routine, I asked my friend to send a message to my father to tell him what time to pick me up. But otherwise nothing special, I felt in a good mood, I think the approach of the holidays contributed to this. In the evening I went to the restaurant with my friends, who, seeing me without my mobile phone, didn't use it either. We talked a lot, even more than usual, it was very pleasant, we didn't feel the need to use our mobiles. It was a simple evening but one of the best, no one was left out on their phones.

The weekend was also very pleasant for me, I enjoyed being with my family, we talked a lot about our week. I continued to read and draw. And I played board games with my brother because we like it a lot. I was still happy to be back on television to watch a show. I felt very relaxed. That's when I realized how much time I was wasting on my phone on the weekends and I used it to do so many things:
I even went back to sports on Sundays.
But Sunday night I was still in a hurry to find my phone the next day because I had missed it a bit for features like the flashlight, the alarm. But also because I was happy to see the messages from my friends who live far away.

To conclude, the first few days were difficult because I had to change my habits and use objects that I didn't use before, like my watch. I also felt isolated and I was afraid of missing important information from my friends or family. So I felt a bit left out, especially when my friends were talking about things I hadn't been following. But in the days that followed I found another routine and I no longer had the lack of my phone. I went to bed earlier because I lost less time and I felt more and more energetic. It also strengthened the bonds I had with my family and friends. So this experience has brought me a lot of things and during the summer holidays, I plan to go even further by using no cell phone, computer or television and see the benefits it brings me.



Réponse : Exposé/corriger de gerondif, postée le 17-03-2020 à 11:56:54 (S | E)
Hello
Rather few mistakes !

experience or experiment ?
etc, not ect.
The next day I woke up at the same time but it was much less difficult for me because I went had gone to bed much earlier than usual.




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