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Correction/disease

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/disease
Message de thomas1906 posté le 11-02-2021 à 21:42:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous corriger ce texte sur la maladie de Parkinson s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.

To make it simple, Peter Whitehouse considers Alzheimer’s disease as a myth. For him, Alzheimer's is in fact not really a disease, but more a brain ageing.

Firstly, I share the point of view of Peter Whitehouse on certain points. Indeed, the causes of Alzheimer's disease are very plentiful and different. There would be a bacterial cause, or toxic causes, and genetic causes. For example, genes mutated can be different between 2 persons who suffer from Alzheimer's disease unlike cystic fibrosis which the only mutated gene is the CFTR gene.

However, we cannot deny that Alzheimer's disease affects young people. Therefore, it's not only a simple brain aging. As any disease, we find specific signs. The excessive production and accumulation of beta-amyloid proteins in certain areas of the brain. The "deformation" of certain proteins like Tau-protein.
In addition, we have the evidence that Alzheimer's disease can be avoid by some actions. The consummation of wine allows to avoid the neuron degenerescence by the oxidant substances. The maintain of memorization skills is a protective factor.
Finally, We have a progressive character in Alzheimer's disease: First, memory loss, then language disorders and finally a loss of autonomy of the patient

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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-02-2021 17:35
Gris



Réponse : Correction/disease de gerondif, postée le 11-02-2021 à 21:54:04 (S | E)
Bonsoir
Erreurs en bleu
To make it simple, Peter Whitehouse considers Alzheimer’s disease as a myth. For him, Alzheimer's is in fact not really a disease, but more a brain ageing.

Firstly, I share the point of view of Peter Whitehouse on certain points. Indeed, the causes of Alzheimer's disease are very plentiful (un peu redondant) and different. There would be a bacterial cause, or toxic causes, and genetic causes. For example, genes mutated can be different between 2 persons who suffer from Alzheimer's disease unlike cystic fibrosis for which the only mutated gene is the CFTR gene.

However, we cannot deny that Alzheimer's disease affects young people. Therefore, it's not only a simple brain aging. As any disease, we find specific signs : The excessive production and accumulation of beta-amyloid proteins in certain areas of the brain, the "deformation" of certain proteins like Tau-protein.
In addition, we have the evidence that Alzheimer's disease can be avoided by some actions.(maladroit) The consummation (confusion avec consumption) of wine allows to avoid the neuron degenerescence by the oxidant substances. The maintain of memorization skills is a protective factor.
Finally, We have a progressive character in Alzheimer's disease: First, memory loss, then language disorders and finally a loss of autonomy of the patient.



Réponse : Correction/disease de here4u, postée le 13-02-2021 à 09:56:00 (S | E)
Hello!

Very interesting text. I agree with gerondif’s suggestions, of course ( agEing throughout the text!)
I know of a young person of 38 diagnosed with Alzheimer’ s... Terrible, isn’t it?




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