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Message de raul10 posté le 08-05-2007 à 15:58:19 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous !
Je dois faire une rédaction en 300 mots environ sur le thème suivant :
Do you think it is right to ban children from using credit cards ? Why ? Why not ?
J'ai prévu pour cette rédaction le plan suivant :
I Why it is right to ban
II Why it is wrong to ban
III My opinion
J'ai réalisé les deux premiers paragraphes et je ne sais pas du tout quoi mettre dans mon opinion...
Si je poste sur ce forum, c'est pour que :
- Vous corrigiez mes erreurs
- Vous m'aidiez à trouver quoi mettre dans la troisième partie.
Tout ceci bien sûr si cela ne vous dérange pas.
Voici ce que j'ai fait :
Intro :
Ha ve we to allow children to use credit cards ? Here is a good question which required a goodthought. So there are several aspects that I will try to present you.
Part 1 : Why it is right to ban
As a starting point, ban children from using credit cards may be a good thing for the following reasons. Firstly, the kid must be dependant on his parent's money. Besides, the parents must have an eye on what happens on the bank account. Secondly, the main problem with a credit card is that money s virtual. In fact, money which is on your account doesn't really exist, it's only numbers, thus when you spend it, you haven't any idea of what you have really spend. So what, you can spend more than you have. Thirdly, if a kid has a credit card, ha can gamble online and this is an open door to dangers. Consequently, we can say that let children use a credit card can be dangerous for the family's financial situation.
Part 2 : Why it is wrong to ban
However, it's may be a bad thing, because of these elements. At first sight, with a credit card, a kid can have more financial autonomy, so what he can pay for everything he desires. Moreover, with a credit card, a kid is able to manage is own money. So he learn the money's value. Furthermore, the parents trust the kid and give money on his bank account, that underline a big trust by the parents. Therefore, let a child have a credit card can be a good thing for his future life because it's learn him the money's value.
Part 3 : My opinion
Je ne sais pas trop quoi mettre, pouvez vous m'aider...
Merci d'avance !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2007 16:04
Message de raul10 posté le 08-05-2007 à 15:58:19 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous !
Je dois faire une rédaction en 300 mots environ sur le thème suivant :
Do you think it is right to ban children from using credit cards ? Why ? Why not ?
J'ai prévu pour cette rédaction le plan suivant :
I Why it is right to ban
II Why it is wrong to ban
III My opinion
J'ai réalisé les deux premiers paragraphes et je ne sais pas du tout quoi mettre dans mon opinion...
Si je poste sur ce forum, c'est pour que :
- Vous corrigiez mes erreurs
- Vous m'aidiez à trouver quoi mettre dans la troisième partie.
Tout ceci bien sûr si cela ne vous dérange pas.
Voici ce que j'ai fait :
Intro :
Ha ve we to allow children to use credit cards ? Here is a good question which required a goodthought. So there are several aspects that I will try to present you.
Part 1 : Why it is right to ban
As a starting point, ban children from using credit cards may be a good thing for the following reasons. Firstly, the kid must be dependant on his parent's money. Besides, the parents must have an eye on what happens on the bank account. Secondly, the main problem with a credit card is that money s virtual. In fact, money which is on your account doesn't really exist, it's only numbers, thus when you spend it, you haven't any idea of what you have really spend. So what, you can spend more than you have. Thirdly, if a kid has a credit card, ha can gamble online and this is an open door to dangers. Consequently, we can say that let children use a credit card can be dangerous for the family's financial situation.
Part 2 : Why it is wrong to ban
However, it's may be a bad thing, because of these elements. At first sight, with a credit card, a kid can have more financial autonomy, so what he can pay for everything he desires. Moreover, with a credit card, a kid is able to manage is own money. So he learn the money's value. Furthermore, the parents trust the kid and give money on his bank account, that underline a big trust by the parents. Therefore, let a child have a credit card can be a good thing for his future life because it's learn him the money's value.
Part 3 : My opinion
Je ne sais pas trop quoi mettre, pouvez vous m'aider...
Merci d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2007 16:04
Réponse: Aide pour rédaction de lucile83, postée le 08-05-2007 à 16:03:07 (S | E)
Hello,
Personne ne peut écrire votre opinion !
C'est à vous d'écrire ce que vous en pensez.
Cordialement.
Réponse: Aide pour rédaction de damieng57, postée le 08-05-2007 à 17:21:48 (S | E)
Essaie de trouver un exemple personnel, peut-être as-tu une carte de crédit? Est-ce que cela t'apporte quelque chose, c'est plus pratique pour toi? Tu as bien un avis sur la question? Tu es, je pense, parfaitement concerné.
D'autres pistes:
A quel âge estimes-tu que l'on soit suffisamment responsable pour utiliser une carte de crédit? Est-ce vraiment applicable pour tout le monde (certaines personnes sont plus matures que d'autres au même âge), Y a-t-il vraiment un intérêt puisque les sommes sont (en principe, non ?) faibles. Est-ce que tu penses que c'est plus pédagogique pour gérer son argent que la bonne vieille tirelire ?
Voilà voilà, un peu d'imagination que diable !
NB: Je ne te corrige pas car je suis pas encore assez sûr de mon niveau, après je vais te faire écrire des âneries !!!
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Modifié par damieng57 le 08-05-2007 17:31
Réponse: Aide pour rédaction de magstmarc, postée le 08-05-2007 à 18:46:14 (S | E)
Hello,
J'ai mis en rouge ce qui m'a semblé faux, et quelques ajouts en vert :
Ha ve we to allow children to use credit cards ? Here is a good question which required a goodthought. So there are several aspects that I will try to present you.
Part 1 : Why it is right to ban
As a starting point, banning children from using credit cards may be a good thing for the following reasons. Firstly, the kid must be dependant on his parent's (parents au pluriel) money. Besides, the (his, ou rien si c'est les parents en général) parents must have (keep) an eye on what happens on the bank account. Secondly, the main problem with a credit card is that money s virtual. In fact, money which is on your account doesn't really exist, it's only numbers, thus when you spend it, you haven't any idea of what you have really spend. So what, you can spend more than you have. Thirdly, if a kid has a credit card, ha can gamble online and this is an open door to dangers. Consequently, we can say that letting children use a credit card can be dangerous for the family's financial situation.
Part 2 : Why it is wrong to ban
However, it's may be ( it's maybe en un seul mot, ou alors it may be)a bad thing, because of these elements. At first sight, with a credit card, a kid can have more financial autonomy, so what he can pay for everything he desires. Moreover, with a credit card, a kid is able to manage is own money. So he learn the money's value. Furthermore, the parents trust the kid and give money on his bank account, that underline a big trust by the parents. Therefore, letting a child have a credit card can be a good thing for his future life because it's learn him the money's value.
Attention :
-à la conjugaison à la 3ème personne du singulier
-aux verbes substantivés ("le fait de faire"...est..." = "to do...is..." ou mieux "doing...is..."
A part ça ce n'est pas mal du tout
Réponse: Aide pour rédaction de raul10, postée le 09-05-2007 à 06:36:11 (S | E)
Merci à tous pour votre aide.
INDISPENSABLES : 