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La peur (correction)
Message de doublem57 posté le 08-12-2007 à 19:02:44 (S | E | F | I)
Hellooo !!
J'ai une rédaction à faire sur le sujet :
Racontez votre plus grande peur...
Je fais toujours énormement de fautes. Si vous voulez bien m'aider à en corriger un certain nombre je serais contente.
One day , when I was invite to my cousin for his birthday , my cousin , my brother and me lefts home for to go out...
A lot of children were playing with rock...It was a battle !!But at a moment the children annoyed me brother and he runs after one boy !!It was a very big race into the city !!After a fiew moment my brother was not income...A girl said at me that Florian, my brother was kidnap by two mans !!
I looked for my brother during two hours and nothing...I started crying...I thouhgt it was my same...The best brother of the world disappeared !!Suddenly ; a car stopped in front of me and one man released..I was scared and I had runned as soon as possible...
Hidden in a tree I waited for the car disappears...I took the road back not knowing what to tell my mother about my little brother...I was in tears.In the stairway I took my time because I was afraid to see the reaction of my mother.Opening the door ,my brother my playing card quietly !!I was relieved !!!In reality nobody had kidnapped Florian...He had simply hungry and he returned ..If he knew how I was afraid...
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Modifié par bridg le 08-12-2007 19:24
titre
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage.Merci de votre participation.
Message de doublem57 posté le 08-12-2007 à 19:02:44 (S | E | F | I)
Hellooo !!
J'ai une rédaction à faire sur le sujet :
Racontez votre plus grande peur...
Je fais toujours énormement de fautes. Si vous voulez bien m'aider à en corriger un certain nombre je serais contente.
One day , when I was invite to my cousin for his birthday , my cousin , my brother and me lefts home for to go out...
A lot of children were playing with rock...It was a battle !!But at a moment the children annoyed me brother and he runs after one boy !!It was a very big race into the city !!After a fiew moment my brother was not income...A girl said at me that Florian, my brother was kidnap by two mans !!
I looked for my brother during two hours and nothing...I started crying...I thouhgt it was my same...The best brother of the world disappeared !!Suddenly ; a car stopped in front of me and one man released..I was scared and I had runned as soon as possible...
Hidden in a tree I waited for the car disappears...I took the road back not knowing what to tell my mother about my little brother...I was in tears.In the stairway I took my time because I was afraid to see the reaction of my mother.Opening the door ,my brother my playing card quietly !!I was relieved !!!In reality nobody had kidnapped Florian...He had simply hungry and he returned ..If he knew how I was afraid...
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 08-12-2007 19:24
titre
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage.Merci de votre participation.
INDISPENSABLES : 