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Robin (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Robin (correction)
Message de robin1094 posté le 04-06-2008 à 21:24:11 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous après une belle visite de ce merveilleux site je me lance pour vous faire par de mon texte :

y a t'il des fautes ??svp merci

Hello my name is robin I am 18 years old .I am soon going to have my birthday. It is July 14th. I go has the school the "samaritaine" I am at present by (ici je voudrais mettre aspirant en nursing mais je ne sais pas comment on dit), I wish continuous my studies in physiotherapy.
I am attracted by this profession because I made of the physio a long time and I liked …

I practise regularly of body-building,
I began to train during 6 months in a sporting room which names Sun Gym to Marcinelle . Then I have bought all the sporting material to me and I continue with doggedness…

I am someone very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when one boy has him look, I become nervous. I have some quality it is that I am very sociable and kind and generous. I become fast in people. But sometimes too kind because the persons take advantage of my kindness.


ps: désolé pour mon anglais assez médiocre


-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 04-06-2008 21:31


Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 04-06-2008 à 21:59:13 (S | E)
Hello my name is robin I am 18 years old . My birthday is the 14th of July. I go to the "samaritaine" school. I am presently (j'ai pas compris la suite) I wish I could continue my studies in physiotherapy.
I am interested in this profession because I have done physio for a long time and I liked …

I practise regularly body-building,
I did for 6 months in a sport center Sun Gym to Marcinelle . Then, I bought all the materials needed and I continue with (doggedness)?…

I am very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when a boy looks at him/her, I become nervous. I have qualities : I am very sociable, kind and generous. I get to know people very fast. But sometimes I am too kind and tey make their profit.



Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 04-06-2008 à 22:00:16 (S | E)
Au fait,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY


Réponse: Robin (correction) de gee, postée le 04-06-2008 à 22:10:10 (S | E)
Hello Robin!

First of all notice that I put a capital letter to start your name.

Your birthday is on July 14. (or July 14th) but ON.

"I go has the school..." I suppose you go to the school "La Samaritaine".

aspirant en nursing : un aspirant à un poste: candidate for a position. Mais le sens n'est-il pas étudiant en nursing: nursing student.

You wish to continue.

"I made of the physio" ?? What do you mean? You underwent physiotherapy treatment?

You regularly practise : adverb before verb. Better: I practise body-building on a regular basis.

a sporting room named Sun Gym in Marcinelle

Then you bought: at a precise moment in the past, you bought.

You seem to be a very jealous and possessive guy!!

"when one boy has him look" makes no sense to me.

"I become fast in people" makes no sense to me.




Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 05-06-2008 à 16:55:45 (S | E)
Merci à vous deux je vais retraivailler plus convenablement mon texte...
Merci pumpkin21

-------------------
Modifié par robin1094 le 05-06-2008 16:56


Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 05-06-2008 à 17:27:52 (S | E)
Me revoilà dans "I become fast in people" :je voulais mette "je m'attache vite au gens" et dans "when one boy has him look" :quand un garçon la regarde


merci beaucoup


Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 10-06-2008 à 11:48:32 (S | E)
Re bonjour à tous ,
voilà je viens d'un peu continué mon texte pour mon orale serait-il possible de vérifier si il y a des faute S'il vous plaît merci beaucoup
...



Hello my name is Robin I am 18 years old. I was born on July 1989 14th in Charleroi . My horoscope is cancer. I live in Mont-sur-Marchienne between Charleroi.

I have one sister and one brother. My sister called *** and my brother called ***. My sister lives in Italy between Calitri, I go every year during summer in his village whitch called Pescopagano. The weather is warm in summer with a light wind and in winter it is the hell because it is very cold .I hate the winter in Italy especially to Pescopagano.
In Belgium it makes not too much cold but in summer it makes heavy.

I go to the Samaritaine School. I am at present by nursing student, I wish continuous my studies in physiotherapy.
I am attracted by this profession because I received some physiotherapy treatment a long time and I liked …

I practise body-building on a regular basis,
I began to train during 6 months in a sporting room named Sun Gym in Marcinelle . Then I have bought all the sporting material to me and I continue with doggedness…

I am someone very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when one boy has him look, I become nervous. I have some quality it is that I am very sociable and kind and generous. I become fast in people. But sometimes, I am too kind because the persons take advantage of my kindness.








Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 10-06-2008 à 12:21:55 (S | E)
Sans être méchante, as tu lu les corrections qu'ont t'as soumises ?

Conseil : relis toi ainsi que les corrections précédentes et tu verras qu'il ne restera plus, ou en tout cas presque plus d'erreurs

Courage


Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 10-06-2008 à 14:53:07 (S | E)
je l'avais corrigé mais pas enregistré j'ai continué mon texte sans me relire...
Enfin voila je les plus ou moins corrigé:

Hello my name is Robin I am 18 years old. I was born on July 1989 14th in Charleroi . My horoscope is cancer. I live in Mont-sur-Marchienne between Charleroi.

I have one sister and one brother. My sister called ** and my brother called **. My sister lives in Italy between Calitri, I go every year during summer in his village whitch called Pescopagano. The weather is warm in summer with a light wind and in winter it is the hell because it is very cold .I hate the winter in Italy especially to Pescopagano.
In Belgium it makes not too much cold but in summer it makes heavy.

I go to the Samaritaine School. I am presently by nursing student, I wish continuous my studies in physiotherapy.
I am interested in this profession because I received some physiotherapy treatment a long time and I liked …

I practise regulary body-building ,
I did for 6 months in a sporting center Sun Gym in Marcinelle . Then I bought all the sporting the materials needed…

I am someone very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when a boy looks at him, I become nervous. I have qualities :I am very sociable ,kind and generous. Iget to know people very fast. But sometimes, I am too kind and they make their profit.



merci

-------------------
Modifié par robin1094 le 10-06-2008 14:53


Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 10-06-2008 à 16:18:47 (S | E)
Hello my name is robin I am 18 years old . I was born on July 1989 the 14th in Charleroi . My astrological sign is cancer. I live in Mont-sur-Marchienne in Charleroi.

I have one sister and one brother. My sister called ** and my brother called **. My sister lives in Italy in Calitri, I go every year during summer in his village which (pas de "t") is called Pescopagano. The weather is warm in summer with a light wind and in winter it is the hell because it is very cold .I hate the winter in Italy especially in Pescopagano.
(In Belgium it makes not too much cold but in summer it makes heavy.)En français, ça donne quoi ?


I go to the Samaritaine School. I am presently student in nursing. I wish I could continue my studies in physiotherapy.
I am interested in this profession because I have done physiotherapy treatment for a long time and I liked …

I practise regularly body-building,
I did for 6 months in a sport center Sun Gym to Marcinelle . Then, I bought all the materials needed...

I am very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when a boy looks at her, I become nervous. I have qualities : I am very sociable, kind and generous. I get to know people very fast. But sometimes I am too kind and tey make their profit.




Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 10-06-2008 à 17:38:54 (S | E)
En fait je voulais dire "En Belgique ,il ne fait pas trop froid en hiver mais en été il fait lourd."


Je tiens vraiment à te remercier de ton aide.




Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 10-06-2008 à 19:42:47 (S | E)
In Belgium, it is not that cold in winter, but in summer it is really heavy.


Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 10-06-2008 à 21:11:18 (S | E)
thanks


Réponse: Robin (correction) de msjf1, postée le 11-06-2008 à 14:13:45 (S | E)
salut à tous. voici ma proposition.

Hello, my name is Robin. I am 18 years old and Iget to have my bithday soon, at July 14. I go to the School "Samariatine" where I aspire to nursing. Iwish to continue my sudies in physiotherapy. I am interested by that because I will work in later (j'ai choisi cette version parce que jai pensé c'est ce que tu voudrais faire plus tard) and I would like . . .
I practise regularly bodybuilding. I train since 6 months in the Sun Gym's sport room in Marcinelle. Then I have bought all the sportsmaterial for my use and I continue with doggedness.
I am a very jealous and possessiv especially with my girlfriend, for example when a boy looks at her I become nervous. I have some qualities: I am very sociable, kind and generous. I am fast with people. But sometimes i am too kind and some people take some advantages of that.



Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 13-06-2008 à 17:09:02 (S | E)
bonjour à tous j'ai continué de créer mon texte pour mon oral Mardi mais apparemment l'oral doit durer +ou- 15 min et sans vous mentir je suis à cour d'idée.

voici mon texte pourriez vous jeter un oeil S'il vous plaît :


Hello my name is robin I am 18 years old . I was born on July 1989 the 14th in Charleroi . My astrological sign is cancer. I live in Mont-sur-Marchienne in Charleroi.

I have one sister and one brother. My sister called ** and my brother called **. My sister lives in Italy near Calitri, I go every year during summer in his village which is called Pescopagano. The weather is warm in summer with a light wind and in winter it is the hell because it is very cold .I hate the winter in Italy especially in Pescopagano.
In Belgium, it is not that cold in winter, but in summer it is really heavy.


I go to the Samaritaine School. I am presently student in nursing.

I have some dificulty in french but I was never talanded .
The lecons which I like is anatomy, biology and English.
I have been studying the english for 6 years.

I wish I could continue my studies in physiotherapy.
I am interested in this profession because I have done physiotherapy treatment for a long time and I liked …


I practise regularly body-building,
I did for 6 months in a sport center Sun Gym to Marcinelle . Then, I bought all the materials needed...
I love this sport because My dream are to become a very muscular man.
But also lifted the weights let off stream to me.


I am someone of very nervous wich give me problems to the stomach.
and I am very jealous and possessive especially with my friend, for example when a boy looks at her, I become nervous.

But I have qualities : I am very sociable, kind and generous. I get to know people very fast. But sometimes I am too kind and tey make their profit.





vos idées sont les bienvenue car mon texte ne dure que 4 min


-------------------
Modifié par robin1094 le 13-06-2008 17:09

-------------------
Modifié par robin1094 le 13-06-2008 17:23


Réponse: Robin (correction) de pumpkin21, postée le 13-06-2008 à 20:15:10 (S | E)
Tu pourrais parler de ton avenir: dire ce que tu souhaites faire plus tard, pourquoi ce job, qu'est ce que ce job pourra t'apporter dans ta vie personnelle.

Quels sont tes hobbies. Est ce que tu aimerais voyager dans le monde si oui, pourquoi? si non pourquoi pas?

Pourquoi souhaites tu être musclés ? Qu'est ce que cela pourrait t'apporter?

Quelles sont tes passions ? As tu des rêves bien précis?

Qu'espères tu de ta vie future ?

Voilà de quoi nourrir ton oral.

P.S : Je ne sais pas si tu as déjà passé des oraux ou si on t'en as dejà parler mais en tout cas: la personne qui sera en face de toi sera certainement amener à te poser des questions par pure curiosité: il te suffira alors de répondre et ainsi de suite vous ferez la conversation ; et tu vas voir tu ne verras plus le temps passé.

D'autant plus que tu ne te souviendras pas exactement de ton texte (trac) tu seras donc amener à improviser.

Si je peux me permettre, quelques petites fautes de rien du tout :

I have some difFicultIES in french but I was never talEnTed .
The leSSons which I like ARE anatomy, biology and English.
I have been studying the english for 6 years.
My dream IS : to become a very muscular man.
I am A VERY nervous PERSON wich giveS me problems to the stomach.



Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 13-06-2008 à 22:33:45 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de tes conseil et de ton aide...je vais continué à travailler mon texte...Effectivement je n'ai jamais passé d'oral .





Réponse: Robin (correction) de evetyna, postée le 13-06-2008 à 22:57:44 (S | E)
salut ROBIN , je ais essayer de t apporter quelques corrections et idees ... j avoue que moi meme je suis pas tres tres anglophone mais je crois quand meme pouvoir t aider ... et bien comme PUMPKIN te l as deja si bien dit l orale en generale c est interactif ton interlocueur te posera des questions auquelles tu devras repondre et je pense que tu devrai plutot essayer de te preparer a repondre a plusieurs questions dont celles qui tont ete proposer par PUMPKIN .Mais l idee de creer un texte n est pas mal non plus ca te permettra d introduire et de te presenter a ton interlocuteur ... alors voila ce que je te propose :

good morning , my name is ROBIN and i am 18 years old . i was born on July 1989 the 14th in Charleroi, so my astrological sign is cancer.charleroi is (tu essais de parler de charleroi petite ou grande ville situe pres de paris "par exemple") and i am living there with my parents .I have just one brother ,he is called *** and one sister who is called ***, she is living in Italy near Calitri in a small which is called Pescopagano.I use to go there during summer holidays .(si pescopagano est le village dans lequel elle vit cette phrase conviendrai mieux a mon sens ).At that time , the weather is very warm ,with a light wind but at the winter time living in pescopagano is like living in the hell because it is very very cold ,i i really hate it .it is different from Belgium where the winter is not too cold but the summer is more heavy .

I am student in nursing at the "samaritaine" school.My favourite subjects are anatomy ,biology and english(i have been studying english for 6 years ) . i have some difficulties in french ,i have never been good even if i am trying .I wish i could continue my studies in physiotherapy . My interest in this profession is coming from the fact that i had physiotherapy treatment for a long time and i liked it ...

i am keen on body-building and my dream is to become very muscular,i did it for 6 month in a spot center "sun gym" at Marcinelle,but now i have bought my own material and i am doing it myself at home (je sais pas si c est ce que tu voulais dire exactement mais je crois que ca se rapproche de ca ) and i also want to lose weight.I like to let off stream too.

About my personality , i am very nervous and that gave me stomach aches ,very jealous and possessive especially with my girlfriend ,i can not bear the fact that another boy looks at her that makes me nervous.However i have some qualities ,i am very sociable ,kind and generous .i can be so kind with people and they take benefit from it .(je crois qu a la place de get very fast with people sociable suffit)


j espere que mon texte pourra t aider sur ce je te souhaite une bonne chance pour ton oral ...







Réponse: Robin (correction) de robin1094, postée le 14-06-2008 à 09:05:11 (S | E)
Merci je vous avoue que j'ai vraiment le trac comme ma dit pumpkin .





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