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logistique verte (correction) (1)



<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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logistique verte (correction)


Message de chacha7611 posté le 25-09-2008 à 16:15:11 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous, ayant un devoir à faire sur la logistique verte en anglais, j'aurais voulu, si c'était possible, de bien vouloir me relire pour me dire si j'ai des fautes, pour m'éviter les foudres de mon professeur...thak you so much

This article deals with the Green Supply Chain strategy in firms. Indeed, with the problem of climate change, some companies are thinking that they can have a huge impact on the environment if they change some of their ways of production or some of their processes.

With the survey of McKinsey, we can see that nearly half of executives think about the climate change into consideration in making supply chain decisions. Most of them, does not consider climate change issues has a problem. On the contrary, it can be an opportunity to them: new markets can be developed like Green products. But in the fact, a few number of companies as actually set emission targets. Perhaps, it is a kind of fear of the unknown; or executives were not honest when they answered the survey.

In a supply chain, carbon emission can appear at all the stage, but the major part resides upstream in the supply chain. Indeed, to extract some of raw material, it is necessary to use water and energy. But, with the use of this, there are a lot of impacts for the air and the water. It produces a lot of waste too. In general, pollution and waste represent incomplete, ineffective or inefficient use of raw material. Therefore, a lot of efforts can be realized in this part of the supply chain. Manufacturers have to encourage their suppliers to adopt green practises and environmental management systems. But companies can save a lot of money in other way like reducing transport or change the package of their products.

Some times, company have to make tradeoffs between emissions and profitability. But in other case they can earn money by using green logistics. We can talk about Xerox which was, one of the first company which launch a green supply chain by taking back used copiers as a source of materials for new machines. Customers like this process because they no longer worry about machine disposal and Xerox can save a lot of money. So, thanks to this example we can see that with a new way of thinking firms can earn money and reduce their waste of materials.
To conclude we can say that green supply chain analysis provides an opportunity to review processes, material and concepts. And it is good for environment and the health of our children.


-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 25-09-2008 16:40
Merci aux membres qui ont le gentillesse de répondre, de simplement signaler les erreurs, et de permettre au membre demandeur de corriger.


Réponse: logistique verte (correction) de laure95, postée le 25-09-2008 à 18:47:13 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
- into consideration? Tu utilises déjà THINK.
- Most of them, does not consider: sujet au pluriel - verbe au pluriel
- has: HAS: verbe avoir.
- to them: for them.
- in the fact: in reality
- as?
- at all the stage?
-resides: change de verbe.
-a lot of: varie entre A LOT OF, LOTS OF, MANY et MUCH.
- change: changing.
-Some times: en un seul mot.
-launch: problème de temps.
-for environment: for the environment.
Bon courage!



Réponse: logistique verte (correction) de khalid1970, postée le 25-09-2008 à 21:59:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,
This article deals with the Green Supply Chain strategy in firms. Indeed, with the problem of climate change, some companies are thinking(est ce qu'ils sont en train de penser? Dans ce cas il faut un "of+ gerund/developing, working etc. Sinon, il faut changer le temps: c'est rare de conjuguer think au continu) that they can(changer ce modal; utiliser plutot un autre qui a une projection sur le futur. Je propose could) have a huge impact on the environment if they change some of their ways( or processes) of production. or some of their processes.

With the survey of McKinsey(que veux tu dire au juste?), we can see that nearly half of executives(who are these executives?) think about the climate change into consideration in making supply chain decisions( cette phrase n'est absolument pas claire.Tu veux dire qu'ils prennent le changement climatique en consideration de telle manière à ce que ces décisions influent positivement sur le climat??) Most of them,(ponctuation, pas de virgule) does(le sujet est au pluriel, le verbe doit l'être aussi) not consider climate change issues has( as a problem) a problem. On the contrary, it( What is it that can be?) can be an opportunity to(mauvaise peéposition) them: new markets can be developed like Green products(un peu ambiguë cette phrase). But in the fact,( In fact, tout court) a few number of companies as actually set emission targets(cette phrase n'est pas claire. peut-être tu veux dire "as" et non "has"). Perhaps,(pas de virgule) it(meme probleme: reference à quoi?) is a kind of fear of the unknown; or executives were not honest when they answered the survey.

In a supply chain, carbon emission can appear at all the stage( at all stages, peut etre) , but the major part resides upstream in the supply chain. Indeed, to extract some of(article défini) raw material, it is necessary to use water and energy. But, with the use of this, there are a lot of impacts(impact est un nom singulier, sauf dans le sens se collision) for(impact on something) the air and the water. It(idem) produces a lot of waste too. In general, pollution and waste represent(ce n'est pas le bon verbe) incomplete, ineffective or inefficient use of raw material. Therefore, a lot of efforts can be realized(pas le bon verbe) in this part of the supply chain. Manufacturers have to encourage their suppliers to adopt green practises(ponctuation: to practise ou to practice(américain), mais the practice) and environmental management systems. But companies can save a lot of money in other way like reducing transport or change the package of their products.

Some times, company have to make tradeoffs between emissions and profitability. But in other case they can earn money by using green logistics. We can talk about Xerox which was, one of the first company which launch a green supply chain by taking back used copiers as a source of materials for new machines. Customers like this process because they no longer worry about machine disposal and Xerox can save a lot of money. So, thanks to this example we can see that with a new way of thinking firms can earn money and reduce their waste of materials.
To conclude we can say that green supply chain analysis provides an opportunity to review processes, material and concepts. And it is good for environment and the health of our children.
Désolé, je dois arreter; j'y reviendrai
Bon courage


Réponse: logistique verte (correction) de chacha7611, postée le 26-09-2008 à 10:38:59 (S | E)
Merci de votre aide, je m'aperçois que beaucoup d'erreur pourrait être éviter si je me relisais en faisant étape par étape... Il va falloir que j'y emploie plus la prochaine fois ;);)




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