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Message de demdem95 posté le 27-09-2008 à 23:38:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ! J'ai rédigé un texte sur les JO, et je voudrais savoir quelles sont mes fautes s'il vous plait.
Last years many foreign athletes won gold medals in Olympic Games like Laura Flessel, Marie-José Perec... The mentalities change and it is good. Besides I think the Olympic Games are funny for a lot of people in this world. Morever the athletes can show their talent. Then I find than the Olympic Games fight against the racism because all countries represented during the Olympic Games, also more in more countries win medals thanks to their foreign athletes.The Olympic games must to continue because we can watch amazing sports like swimming and especially worldwide event than it represent.
Réponse: Correction de babyscot59, postée le 28-09-2008 à 00:03:47 (S | E)
Last years ( singulier de year)many foreign athletes won gold medals in Olympic Games like Laura Flessel, Marie-José Perec... The mentalities change and it is good. Besides I think the Olympic Games are funny for a lot of people in this world. Morever the athletes can show their talent. Then I find than the Olympic Games fight against the racism ( pas d article on renvoit au concept ici) because all countries represented ( il manque un petit verbe, construction du passif) during the Olympic Games, also more in (pas in mais autre preposition) more countries win medals thanks to their foreign athletes.The Olympic games must (jamais de TO aprés un modal) to continue because we can watch amazing sports like swimming and especially worldwide event than it represent( sens pour cette dernière phrase?).
Sinon peu de fautes, c'est bien!!!
Amicalement
sebastien
Réponse: Correction de demdem95, postée le 28-09-2008 à 00:22:37 (S | E)
Je voulais dire pour la dernière phrase : Les Jo doivent continuer parce que nous pouvons voir des sports.... et surtout pour l'évènement mondial qu'ils représentent.
Donc je pense tourner ma phrase comme ceci plutôt :Olympic games must continue because we can watch amazing sports like swimming and especially it must continue for a worldwide event than it represent.
C'est correct ?
Merci beaucoup pour l'aide. ;)
Réponse: Correction de intrepid34, postée le 28-09-2008 à 09:28:31 (S | E)
Bonjour!
Puis-je fais un petit remarque?
C'est la première phrase qui me parait bizarre - donc, je crois que tu veux dire:
In recent years/In the last few years foreign/international atheletes such as
Laura Flessel, Marie-José Perec... have won gold medals at the Olympic Games. Opinions have changed, and for the best. Besides, the Olympic Games are fun (et non funny qui veut dire "marrant/drôle)..........
Il y a d'autres petites fautes mais babyscot t'a bien guidé pour les corrigé.
Cordialement
Intrepid
Réponse: Correction de demdem95, postée le 28-09-2008 à 11:57:56 (S | E)
Merci
Et cette phrase est-elle correcte ?
Olympic games must continue because we can watch amazing sports and especially it must continue for a worldwide event than it represent.
Réponse: Correction de saydelah, postée le 28-09-2008 à 13:57:34 (S | E)
Pardonnez moi si je fait des fautes en francais mais je suis anglophone (mon ordinateur aussi). Je voudrais ajouter quelques remarques pour vous aider. Je mes l'accent sur les choses neufs.
Last year many foreign athletes won gold medals in THE (needs definite article/il y a besoin de l'article defini) Olympic Games like Laura Flessel, and Marie-José Perec. (In proper English the '...' would not be used; simply use 'and' with a full stop since you have given two examples, or one can use 'etc.'/En anglais propre on n'utiliserait pas les points de suspension ici; on utiliserait simplement le mot 'and' et un point parce que deux exemples d'atheletes a ete donne, ou one peut utilise 'etc.')
The mentalities change and it is good. (The preceding sentence does not make sense but I believe the correction of intrepid34 is appropriate/acceptable with one small amendment/cette phrase ne marche pas mais je pense que la correction de intrepid34 est bonne sauf que une petite changement - Opinions change and for the better).
Besides I think the Olympic Games are fun for a lot of people in this world. Morever the athletes can show their talent. In addition, ('Then' does not fit because the phrases are not related in time/'le mot 'Then' ne corresponde pas parce que il n'y a pas une relationship temporelle entre les phrases) I find thaT (spelling) the Olympic Games fight against racism (no 'the'; we are speaking of racism in general/pas d'article defini; on parle sur la racisme en generale) because all countries ARE represented during the Olympic Games, and (this is a better conjugation to use here/cette conjugaison est meilleure ici) more AND more countries win medals thanks to their foreign athletes.
The Olympic games must continue because we can watch amazing sports like swimming and especially worldwide event than it represent. (this phrase is a bit strange, the second part in particular. Perhaps.../le sens de cette phrase est un peu etrange, en particulier la deuxieme partie. Peut-etre on peut dire..."The Olympic Games must continue so that we can watch amazing sports like swimming and because of the worldwide event that it represents." It is still a bit unusual in meaning but grammatically it is correct/le sens reste un peu extraodinaire mais la grammaire est bonne.)
Amicalement
saydelah
Réponse: Correction de demdem95, postée le 28-09-2008 à 14:12:33 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
INDISPENSABLES : 