Cliquez ici pour revenir à l'accueil... Créer un test / 1 leçon par semaine
Connectez-vous !

Cliquez ici pour vous connecter
Nouveau compte
4 millions de comptes créés

100% gratuit !
[Avantages]


Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine une leçon d'anglais !



- Accueil
- Aide/Contact
- Accès rapides
- Imprimer
- Lire cet extrait
- Livre d'or
- Nouveautés
- Plan du site
- Presse
- Recommander
- Signaler un bug
- Traduire cet extrait
- Webmasters
- Lien sur votre site




> Publicités :




> Partenaires :
-Jeux gratuits
-Nos autres sites
   


Medical report (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE


Medical report (correction)
Message de marionpuce posté le 04-12-2008 à 16:41:05 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous. Voila mon problème : je dois faire un petit rapport écrit en anglais sur un sujet médical de mon choix. Seul bémol, je n'ai quasi pas fait d'anglais depuis près de 5 ans. J'essaie de m'y remettre grâce à ce site mais j'ai quand même des doutes sur mon travail. Donc, si une âme charitable dans le coin pouvait m'aider à corriger mes erreurs je lui en serais très reconnaissante.

Je mets d'abord ma description des 3 docs que j'ai choisis. Ca fait déjà long et j'espère qu'il y aura des courageux.


The first document, untitled “The disease”, is a text from the internet site windsofhope.org, an international association acting to help the victims of Noma and leading prevention campaigns in countries touched by this disease. It describes the main characteristics of Noma, these causes, these signs and these consequences.
I chose this text to begin because it allows us to have a good knowledge of what Noma is and become aware of the terrible damages that it can cause on children.

The second document, “Noma need not to be fatal”, is a text from nonoma.org, internet site of another association of fight against Noma. It deals with the different solutions to prevent and recover from this disease that is not incurable if it's detected and cured in time.
I chose this text to prove that it exits something to do to help populations touched by Noma, by instruction and medical aid.

Thirdly, I chose a text found on facingafrica.org, untitled “Aid in Sokoto”, to give an example of humanitarian action led to fight the misdeeds of Noma and help survivors to be rehabilitated by surgical facial reconstruction.
To summarise, this text deals with the building of a clinic in Nigeria, the Noma Children Hospital, thanks to the association Facing Africa.

Merci par avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de me répondre parce qu'il doit y avoir du boulot.:?
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 04-12-2008 16:53
Titre


Réponse: Medical report (correction) de jean31, postée le 04-12-2008 à 21:20:54 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Exceptionnellement et vu à la fois la nature de ta demande et la qualité de ta rédaction, je prends sur moi de te donner l'intégralité de la correction.
Les modérateurs comprendront j'en suis sûr.
Bonne chance
.

The first document, entitled “The disease”, is a text from the website windsofhope.org, an international association acting to help the victims of Noma and leading prevention campaigns in countries touched by this disease. It describes the main characteristics of Noma, its causes, its signs and its consequences.
=> these est le démonstratif pluriel, ces/celles.
I have chosen this text to begin because it allows us to have a good knowledge of what Noma is and become aware of the terrible damages that it can cause on children.

The second document, “Noma need not to be fatal”, is a text from nonoma.org, the website of another association which fights against Noma. It deals with the different solutions to prevent and recover from this disease that is not incurable if it's detected and cured in time.
I have chosen this text to prove that there is something to do to help populations touched by Noma, by instruction and medical aid.

Thirdly, I have chosen a text found on facingafrica.org, entitled “Aid in Sokoto”, to give an example of humanitarian action led to fight the damaging effects of Noma and help survivors to be rehabilitated by surgical facial reconstruction.
To summarise, this text deals with the building of a clinic in Nigeria, the Noma Children Hospital, thanks to the association Facing Africa.


Réponse: Medical report (correction) de marionpuce, postée le 05-12-2008 à 11:27:58 (S | E)
beaucoup Jean de ta réponse. Quelle honte pour these... Ca prouve le manque de pratique. Je vais pouvoir faire des exercices!
Encore merci.
J'attends un petit peu et je posterai la suite.


Réponse: Medical report (correction) de marionpuce, postée le 06-12-2008 à 17:12:57 (S | E)
Voila la suite. Si vous ne pouvez pas tout corriger, je serais déjà ravie de recevoir vos conseils. Merci par avance!

Noma, orofacial gangrene, is a childhood disease caused by the association of several factors: the lack of bucco-dental hygiene, the malnutrition and the effects of different infections illnesses. Therefore, Noma preferentially strikes children of extremely poor populations, whose it atrociously ravages the face. Owing to that, Noma is called “the face of poverty”.
At the beginning, Noma is characterised by the apparition of small cuts inside the cheeks or on the gums, which, without a treatment, evolves towards an oedema, swellings, and finally a necrosis. This last destroys the flesh and the bones letting a gaping hole in the face of children.
This disease has very serious consequences: 80 percent of victims succumb to the infectious or later because of the deterioration of vital functions (they sometimes can eat or breathe no more).
As for survivors, their face is mutilated and deformed for the rest of their life. Hence, they're often rejected by their own community.

However, Noma can be cured if it's detected and treated in time. Indeed, at the beginning of the infection, some disinfectant mouthwashes and antibiotics are enough to heal a child (with a sufficient food and vitamins).
Unfortunately, once Noma has broken out, it develops so quickly that, even if the child survives, his face is severely mutilated. At which point, only surgical facial reconstruction can help him to have a normal life again and not to be rejected.

At present, humanitarian actions are led in Third World countries with the aim of informing affected populations on how to prevent Noma and identify the first symptoms to reduce the number of victims. Besides, other humanitarian projects are developed to take charge of survivors and give them a new face by reconstructive surgery. That's how, for instance, a hospital was built and opened in Sokoto, a town of Nigeria, to operate children with mutilated face and take care of them for the recovery period.



Réponse: Medical report (correction) de jean31, postée le 06-12-2008 à 17:49:57 (S | E)
Noma, orofacial gangrene, is a childhood disease caused by the association of several factors: lack of bucco-dental hygiene, malnutrition and the effects of different infectious illnesses. Therefore, Noma preferentially strikes children of extremely poor populations whose faces it atrociously ravages. Owing to that, Noma is called “the face of poverty”.
At the beginning, Noma is characterised by the apparition of small cuts inside the cheeks or on the gums, which, without a treatment, evolve towards an oedema, swellings, and finally a necrosis. The latter destroys the flesh and the bones letting a gaping hole in the face of children.
This disease has very serious consequences: 80 percent of the victims succumb to the infections or later because of the deterioration of vital functions (they sometimes can eat or breathe no more).
As for survivors, their faces are mutilated and deformed for the rest of their lives. Hence, they're often rejected by their own community.

However, Noma can be cured if it's detected and treated in time. Indeed, at the beginning of the infection, some disinfectant mouthwashes and antibiotics are enough to heal a child (with food and vitamins).
Unfortunately, once Noma has broken out, it develops so quickly that, even if the child survives, his face is severely mutilated. At which point, only surgical facial reconstruction can help him have a normal life again and not be rejected.

At present, humanitarian actions are led in Third World countries with the aim of informing affected populations on how to prevent Noma and identify the first symptoms to reduce the number of victims. Besides, other humanitarian projects are developed to take charge of survivors and give them a new face by reconstructive surgery. That's how, for instance, a hospital was built and opened in Sokoto, a town in Nigeria, to operate children with mutilated face and take care of them for the recovery period.

Et moi qui croyais avoir vu des choses terribles lors des reportages du Téléthon hier...






Réponse: Medical report (correction) de marionpuce, postée le 06-12-2008 à 19:33:57 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour la correction des fautes.
Eh oui, le Noma est une maladie particulièrement atroce. Malheureusement pour les pauvres enfants qui en souffrent, ce n'est pas une maladie contagieuse qui risque de toucher les pays "riches". Du coup, personne n'en parle et très peu de gens aident les populations touchées. Pour ceux que ça intéressent, il y a possibilité de faire des dons aux associations citées en allant sur leur sites internet... Cela dit, je ne cherche pas à faire de concurrence au Téléthon.
Bonne soirée et encore merci.




POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE


Partager : Facebook / Twitter / ... 


> INDISPENSABLES : TESTEZ VOTRE NIVEAU | GUIDE DE TRAVAIL | NOS MEILLEURES FICHES | Les fiches les plus populaires | Une leçon par email par semaine | Aide/Contact

> COURS ET TESTS : -ing | AS / LIKE | Abréviations | Accord/Désaccord | Activités | Adjectifs | Adverbes | Alphabet | Animaux | Argent | Argot | Articles | Audio | Auxiliaires | Be | Betty | Chanson | Communication | Comparatifs/Superlatifs | Composés | Conditionnel | Confusions | Conjonctions | Connecteurs | Contes | Contractions | Contraires | Corps | Couleurs | Courrier | Cours | Dates | Dialogues | Dictées | Décrire | Ecole | En attente | Exclamations | Faire faire | Famille | Faux amis | Films | For ou since? | Formation | Futur | Fêtes | Genre | Get | Goûts | Grammaire | Guide | Géographie | Habitudes | Harry Potter | Have | Heure | Homonymes | Impersonnel | Infinitif | Internet | Inversion | Jeux | Journaux | Lettre manquante | Littérature | Magasin | Maison | Majuscules | Make/do? | Maladies | Mars | Matilda | Modaux | Mots | Mouvement | Musique | Mélanges | Méthodologie | Métiers | Météo | Nature | Neige | Nombres | Noms | Nourriture | Négation | Opinion | Ordres | Participes | Particules | Passif | Passé | Pays | Pluriel | Plus-que-parfait | Politesse | Ponctuation | Possession | Poèmes | Present perfect | Pronoms | Prononciation | Proverbes et structures idiomatiques | Prépositions | Présent | Présenter | Quantité | Question | Question Tags | Relatives | Royaume-Uni | Say, tell ou speak? | Sports | Style direct | Subjonctif | Subordonnées | Suggérer quelque chose | Synonymes | Temps | Tests de niveau | There is/There are | Thierry | This/That? | Tous les tests | Tout | Traductions | Travail | Téléphone | USA | Verbes irréguliers | Vidéo | Villes | Voitures | Voyages | Vêtements


> NOS AUTRES SITES GRATUITS : Cours mathématiques | Cours d'espagnol | Cours d'allemand | Cours de français | Cours de néerlandais | Outils utiles | Bac d'anglais | Learn French | Learn English | Créez des exercices

> INFORMATIONS : Copyright - En savoir plus, Aide, Contactez-nous [Conditions d'utilisation] [Conseils de sécurité] Reproductions et traductions interdites sur tout support (voir conditions) | Contenu des sites déposé chaque semaine chez un huissier de justice | Mentions légales / Vie privée / Cookies.
| Cours, leçons et exercices d'anglais 100% gratuits, hors abonnement internet auprès d'un fournisseur d'accès.