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Correction/stage en entreprise (1)

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Correction/stage en entreprise
Message de zawa posté le 16-02-2009 à 11:06:41 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,
Ma professeure d'anglais nous a demandé de rédiger un petit texte sur notre stage en entreprise. Est ce que vous pourriez m'aider en m'indiquant où sont les fautes ? Merci de votre aide =)


I began my training course on Saturdays instead of Monday and Tuesday, because the bakery is closed this day. My schedules are from 8 am to 12 am and of 3 pm to 7pm. On Saturday, January 31st, I realized with a pâtisser my birthday cake after an employee and I installed the winter shop window. After noon are reserved for sale. I served as customers and made the cash register walk. The last day, I wanted to come earlier, to see more preparations, the hour was 7 hours. I have cooked bugnes and to prepare small cakes. I had a very good training course. With people very nice, and patient. Most hard was to resist when one me suggested eating. The last day I come at home with lot of good thing.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-02-2009 21:56
titre


Réponse: Correction/stage en entreprise de laure95, postée le 16-02-2009 à 11:18:08 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
I began my training course on Saturdays instead of Monday and Tuesday, because the bakery is closed this day. My schedules are (ton stage est terminé, donc utilise le prétérit) from 8 am to 12 am and of (from) 3 pm to 7pm. On Saturday, January 31st, I realized with a pâtisser my birthday cake after an employee and I installed the winter shop window. After noon are reserved for sale (ordre: sujet - verbe - complément). I served as customers and made the cash register walk (walk: marcher dans la rue). The last day, I wanted to come earlier, to see more preparations, the hour was 7 hours. I have cooked bugnes and to prepared small cakes. I had a very good training course. With people verbe? very nice and patient. Most hard (revois le superlatif des adjectifs courts)was to resist when one me suggested eating. The last day I come (temps!) at home with lot of good things.
Attention au mot à mot et donc aux erreurs de construction et de formulation!




Réponse: Correction/stage en entreprise de zawa, postée le 16-02-2009 à 18:16:36 (S | E)
Est ce que ma correction est bonne ?

I began my training course on Saturdays instead of Monday and Tuesday, because the bakery is closed this day. My schedules were from 8 am to 12 am and from 3 pm to 7pm. On Saturday, January 31st, I realized with a “pâtisser” my birthday cake. After an employee and I have installed the winter shop window. The After noon, we sold . I served customers and made the cash register. The last day, I wanted to come earlier, to see more preparations, at 7 am. I have cooked Bugnes and prepared small cakes. I had a very good training course. People are been very nice and patient. The hardest was to resist when they me suggested eating. The last day I came at home with lot of good things.




Réponse: Correction/stage en entreprise de azer3, postée le 16-02-2009 à 21:48:10 (S | E)
Bonjour, voyons alors
I began my training course on Saturdays instead of Monday and Tuesday, because the bakery is closed this day. My schedules were from 8 am to 12 am and from 3 pm to 7pm. On Saturday, January 31st, I realized/made est plus correct/ with a “pâtisser”/je tu propose pastrycook/ my birthday cake. After an employee and I have installed the winter shop window/vérifie la construction et la formulation de cette phrase/. The After noon, we sold/vérifie/. I served customers and I made the cash register. The last day, I wanted to come earlier,/inutile de mettre ces virgules/ to see more preparations, at 7 am. I have cooked Bugnes and prepared small cakes. I had a very good training course. People are been/nom on dit pas are been, c'est de français ça, vérifie le temps/ very nice and patient. The hardest was to resist when they me/c'est du français/ suggested eating. The last day I came at/ c'est de français on dit came back home/ home with lot of good things.
De même je tu dis de faire attention au fautes de traduction mot a mot.
Amicalement.





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