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20 janvier (correction) (1)

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20 janvier (correction)
Message de kaaaaamel posté le 14-03-2009 à 17:28:35 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous j'ai une expression en Anglais a faire , pouvez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plaît?.
Merci.


Write an account of thee 20 February 2009, with an introduction, telling at least one personal anecdote, and end with a conclusion on your assessment of the day, or trip. You are allowed to use a dictionary and any document you want.

Voilà ce que je fais::


It was the Friday January 20 2009, 6:30 am in front of the school all ready to go, he missed one, which one? Ibrahim, Ibrahim sacred, who had forgotten his identity card ... Its starts fine! But finally he managed to return to school with 2 minutes late ... It is not very bad ...
7:10 in the morning, we are in the bus, we were tired, very tired when the day had just begun, some have not slept the night, the other a few hours, I slept on me at the usual time ...
In the bus, we talked about everything and anything, a few jokes in it a few jokes out there to reduce the excitement we had to enter the UK.
Arrived at the board shuttle to Calais, with a few minutes late, we embark in this great car without end.
35 minutes later we arrived in Dover, started the day really, we were all glued to the windows to see the landscape, it is clear that scenery of Roubaix and all its houses piled ...
Canterbury reached our destination, we went to visit castles in the yard to the public, but super good, it's clear the idea of visiting castles do not pleased me so much ...
Anyway, we went to Canterbury center, the side of the city. We noticed a few stores that you find in France like H & M, Zara, United Colors of Benetton ...
We all go to the place right next to the Cathedral, where a young man who had cracked Aline for him, it was nothing more than a singer, but it's good Aline Aline ...
Midi we eat at McDonald 'nothing more than ordinary. For my part I had the right has a menu Fish, we are in England and we ate Mc'Do instead of eating a Fish & Chips.
After eating we went out to visit the city, pedestrian streets ... We bought some small things, Gaëtan and Ibrahim have to buy hats, scarves ... I have opted instead for purposes of entertainment as a cushion petteur, stick a small paper that expands ...
After spending the afternoon in the cold ... We returned to stores to do that as most people window shop, try accessories, sunglasses, coats, to take pictures with the glasses, very good memories ...
17:00 From after noon, it was time to return, leaving the overseas leg, returning to Roubaix ... Everyone was exhausted except myself of course, I had just woke up and it is a time for me I started to annoy others, preventing them from sleep, rest, Kimberley and I himself had bought the same crap, from the sticks and annoy the other until exhausted.

On 20 February was a memorable day, a day which involved fun, fun, discovery, but also tiring, exhausting (for some, but not my case). In short if I had to start again I would.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 14-03-2009 17:30
Titre / formules de politesse.


Réponse: 20 janvier (correction) de linsey34, postée le 14-03-2009 à 19:02:10 (S | E)
Dear kaaaaamel,

en rouge les erreurs à modifier:



à bien mettre tes verbes au prétérit !

It was the Friday January 20 2009,préposition? 6:30 am in front of the school sujet? verbe? all ready to go, he missed one, which one? Ibrahim, Ibrahim sacred, who had forgotten his identity card ... Its starts fine! But finally he managed to return to school with 2 minutes late ... It is not very bad ...
Préposition? 7:10 in the morning, we are in the bus, we were tired, very tired when the day had just begun, some have not slept the night, the other a few hours, I slept on me at the usual time ...
In the bus, we talked about everything and anything, a few jokes in it a few jokes out there to reduce the excitement we had to enter the UK.
Arrived at the board shuttle to Calais, with a few minutes late, we embark in this great car without end.
35 minutes later we arrived in Dover, started the day really, we were all glued to the windows to see the landscape, it is clear that scenery of Roubaix and all its houses piled ...
Canterbury reached our destination, we went to visit castles in the yard to the public, but super good, it's clear the idea of visiting castles do not pleased me so much ...
Anyway, we went to Canterbury center, the side of the city. We noticed a few stores that you find in France like H & M, Zara, United Colors of Benetton ...
We all go to the place right next to the Cathedral, where a young man who had cracked Aline for him, it was nothing more than a singer, but it's good Aline Aline ...
Midi we eat at McDonald 'nothing more than ordinary. For my part I had the right has a menu Fish, we are in England and we ate Mc'Do instead of eating a Fish & Chips.
After eating we went out to visit the city, pedestrian streets ... We bought some small things, Gaëtan and Ibrahim have to buy hats, scarves ... I have opted instead for purposes of entertainment as a cushion petteur, stick a small paper that expands ...
After spending the afternoon in the cold ... We returned to stores to do that as most people verbe? window shop, try accessories, sunglasses, coats, to take pictures with the glasses, very good memories ...
17:00 From after noon, it was time to return, leaving the overseas leg, returning to Roubaix ... Everyone was exhausted except myself of course, I had just woke up and it is a time for me I started to annoy others, preventing them from sleep, rest, Kimberley and I himself had bought the same crap, from the sticks and annoy the other until exhausted.



Réponse: 20 janvier (correction) de linsey34, postée le 14-03-2009 à 19:03:48 (S | E)
sticks and annoy the other until sujet et verbe? exhausted.

On 20 February was a memorable day, a day which involved fun, fun, discovery, but sujet et verbe? also tiring, exhausting (for some, but sujet et verbe? not my case). In short if I had to start again I would.


Réponse: 20 janvier (correction) de kaaaaamel, postée le 15-03-2009 à 03:26:51 (S | E)
Merci infinimeeeeeent =D



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