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Homework correction
Message de oceanie posté le 22-03-2009 à 23:50:52 (S | E | F)
Good night,
I need your help to correct my homework, I'm very bad... (j'ai utilisé un vocabulaire très simple, si vous pouviez rendre plus "complexe" certains mots ou phrases ^^" mais bon juste une correction serais déjà super)
During the Victorian times, families didn't have a choise. Many children had work to earn money fort their family.
For example, a child who went to work in a mill, he slept just five to seven hours. And sometimes if they were late they were punished. As a result they could not go to school, it was a big issue because when they grow up they will not have a good job.
According to me, it was outrageous but it was normal in Victorian times, if they didn't go to work, their parents could not provide for them so might be they will starve to death. And even now they are still much children who work and that it's very outrageous
Message de oceanie posté le 22-03-2009 à 23:50:52 (S | E | F)
Good night,
I need your help to correct my homework, I'm very bad... (j'ai utilisé un vocabulaire très simple, si vous pouviez rendre plus "complexe" certains mots ou phrases ^^" mais bon juste une correction serais déjà super)
During the Victorian times, families didn't have a choise. Many children had work to earn money fort their family.
For example, a child who went to work in a mill, he slept just five to seven hours. And sometimes if they were late they were punished. As a result they could not go to school, it was a big issue because when they grow up they will not have a good job.
According to me, it was outrageous but it was normal in Victorian times, if they didn't go to work, their parents could not provide for them so might be they will starve to death. And even now they are still much children who work and that it's very outrageous
Réponse: Homework correction de brettdallen, postée le 23-03-2009 à 00:46:35 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je vous propose quelques commentaires...
During the Victorian times, families didn't have a choise(vérifiez l'orthographe). Many children had(il manque un mot entre les deux! vérifiez comment on exprime "devoir") work to earn money fort(faute de frappe, j'imagine..) their family.
For example, a child who went to work(ou simplement "travaillait") in a mill, he(ne reprenez pas avec le pronom!) slept just five to seven hours(vous vous rendez compte de ce que vous dites!?). And sometimes if they were late they were punished(je reconstruis: "They were sometimes punished when they were late"). As a result they could not go to school,(point!) it was a big issue because when they grow(nous étions dans le passé, non?) up they will (même remarque! will est un auxiliaire au présent. Tentez "ils ne pouvaient pas obtenir")not have a good job.
According to me, it was outrageous but it was normal in Victorian times,(point!) if they didn't go to work, their parents could not provide for them so might be they will(traduisez "ils pouvaient") starve to death. And even now they are(vérifiez comment on dit "il y a") still much(plus nom indénombrable, singulier, si vous préférez.. ce n'est pas le bon mot) children who work and that it's(traduisez juste "c'est"! ) very outrageous(déjà utilisé, non? trouvez un synonyme)
Votre anglais est bien meilleur que le portrait que vous en faisiez!
Cordialement.
Réponse: Homework correction de madamekebe, postée le 23-03-2009 à 13:43:30 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ma correction :
During the Victorian times, families didn't have a choice. Many children had to work to earn money for their family.
For example, children who worked in mills slept only five to seven hours a day. And sometimes, if they were late, they were punished.
As a result, they could not go to school which was a big issue, and when they grew up, they couldn't have a good job.
According to me, it was outrageous but it was normal in Victorian times. They got to work for not starving to death, because their parents could not provide them food.
Even now, there are still many children who work and this is very outrageous.
Réponse: Homework correction de laure95, postée le 23-03-2009 à 14:19:08 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici les dernières coorections à faire:
During
For example, children who worked in mills slept only five to seven hours a day. And sometimes, if they were late, they were punished.
As a result, they could not go to school which was a big issue, and when they grew up, they couldn't have a good job.
According to me, it was outrageous but it was normal in Victorian times. They got
to work for not starving (but avec 1 verbe: TO + infinitif)to death, because their parents could not provide them food (tu peux utiliser le vereb nourrir).Even now, there are still many children who work and this is very outrageous.
INDISPENSABLES : 