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In the past
Message de lilipomme04 posté le 24-03-2009 à 17:58:27 (S | E | F)
Hello ! I would like to know if my (short) text is correct... Bye !
(this is a part of a long text, there are other things before)
In the past, having a car was neither common and Wendy's parents didn't have it but her uncle had one. Wendy is remembering that she first saw her uncle's car on a cold morning. She was walking to school when her uncle stopped the car and drove her to school. Over there, everybody saw her and she boasted about it for months. She was very proud !
Message de lilipomme04 posté le 24-03-2009 à 17:58:27 (S | E | F)
Hello ! I would like to know if my (short) text is correct... Bye !
(this is a part of a long text, there are other things before)
In the past, having a car was neither common and Wendy's parents didn't have it but her uncle had one. Wendy is remembering that she first saw her uncle's car on a cold morning. She was walking to school when her uncle stopped the car and drove her to school. Over there, everybody saw her and she boasted about it for months. She was very proud !
Réponse: In the past de laure95, postée le 24-03-2009 à 19:20:09 (S | E)
Hello,
In the past, having a car was neither
common and Wendy's parents didn't have it (one) but her uncle had one (did). Wendy is remembering (présent simple) that (when) she first saw her uncle's car on (pas la bonne préposition) a cold morning. She was walking to school when her uncle stopped the car and drove her to school. Over there, everybody saw her and she boasted about it for months. She was very proud !Réponse: In the past de rinnegan, postée le 24-03-2009 à 20:22:21 (S | E)
hello how are you ?? i'm learning english , can you help me ?? can you give me advice ? what can i do for improve my english ??
Réponse: In the past de cecil_ward, postée le 26-03-2009 à 14:54:14 (S | E)
>In the past, having a car was neither common -> not common
"neither" can only be used when listing two or more things/situations
Example: Feeding your grannie to crocodiles is neither legal nor morally ok in this part of the country.
> and Wendy's parents didn't have it but her uncle had one.
-> and Wendy's parents didn't have one
because *it is ungrammatical here, as there is no particular car being referred to.
Although "but her uncle had one" is perfectly acceptable, English writers would need to rephrase this to avoid repetition of the word "one", which is considered weak, stylistically.
So this would have to change to
.. but her uncle did.
> Wendy is remembering
This is grammatical but very odd. She would have to be in the middle of remembering at the time of some speaker telling a hearer what Wendy is doing at that moment. Unless there's a reason why not, "Wendy remembered that..." use a simple narrative past tense.
> that she first saw her uncle's car on a cold morning.
This is perfectly fine. A previous poster is not correct, "when" is not acceptable here unless the sense is changed. This is a complex subject that needs to be looked at in more detail than I have space for here.
> She was walking to school when her uncle stopped the car and drove her to school.
This is gramatical but stylistically not good. The repetition of "to school" is considered week, and a good English writer would find a way to rephrase this.
> Over there,
everybody saw her and she boasted about it for months. She was very proud !
"Over there" is not grammatical here. "Over there" contrasts one place with another "reference" place. Perhaps simply omit it, or rephrase to something like "Everybody at school/in the playground saw her (arrive), and she boasted..."
Réponse: In the past de lilipomme04, postée le 28-03-2009 à 20:28:45 (S | E)
Thank you very much for your advice. It's very interesting !!
Lilipomme04
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