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Correction /Otages
Message de olyday posté le 16-09-2011 à 14:04:51 (S | E | F)
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger ces quelques lignes concernant les deux journalistes H and S ?
Je vous remercie par avance !
H, a reporter and S, a french cameraman are two journalists at xxx. On december in 2009, they were held hostage for more than 500 days. They were kidnapped in Afganistan by Talibans.
In France, all the journalists on xxx supported them because at every ends of the news, they spoke about both hostages and about the number of days of their detention. I think that it’s important for showing the french solidarity.
Their guide was released before them but on June 30th they got free. At the airport, they seemed to be very weak and they slimed down but they were glad to found again their families.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2011 15:01
Message de olyday posté le 16-09-2011 à 14:04:51 (S | E | F)
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger ces quelques lignes concernant les deux journalistes H and S ?
Je vous remercie par avance !
H, a reporter and S, a french cameraman are two journalists at xxx. On december in 2009, they were held hostage for more than 500 days. They were kidnapped in Afganistan by Talibans.
In France, all the journalists on xxx supported them because at every ends of the news, they spoke about both hostages and about the number of days of their detention. I think that it’s important for showing the french solidarity.
Their guide was released before them but on June 30th they got free. At the airport, they seemed to be very weak and they slimed down but they were glad to found again their families.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2011 15:01
Réponse: Correction /Otages de sherry48, postée le 16-09-2011 à 14:49:18 (S | E)
Hello olyday.
1.For prepositions, use on for an exact date and in for an unprecise date. Also, since there are only 31 days in December, you need another word to indicate the beginning of the captivity.
2.In this phrase...at every ends of the news...the word every requires a singular noun.
3.You can use an article before hostages...they spoke about both hostages and about the number of days...
4.I think that it’s important for showing (the infinitive is good),the french solidarity. Eliminate the article and use a capital letter for nationality.
5. In this phrase...on June 30th they got free I think the verb 'to be' is better than 'to get'.
6....they slimed (spelling, also it's in the past, but needs the perfect) down but they were glad to found (when they see their families, it's no longer in the past) again their families.
You did a pretty good job!
Sherry
Réponse: Correction /Otages de olyday, postée le 16-09-2011 à 20:42:36 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide !
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