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Travail au supermarché

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Travail au supermarché
Message de asus21 posté le 13-10-2011 à 23:15:35 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,

j'ai rédigé un texte et j'aurais souhaité que quelqu'un me corrige s'il vous plaît,
merci d'avance
X représente le nom de l'enseigne

I worked at xxx from july to august.
In the morning, I had to put the products on the shelves everywhere in the store. In the afternoon, I was the assistant of the Director. He explained to me the functioning of his job.

X is a supermarket whose market two types of food products : fresh and dried products.

In a supermarket, you find razors and pens in the general merchandise department.

Concerning the products, there are three qualities:
- low price item
- high-end product as nacional brand
- X brand product = good value for money

Specialist say that low price item is bad for our health but it's less expensive than others products.

Packaging is very simple and it don't draw customers' attention to this product.

Packaging is carefully done.

Packaging is wonderfull for the children and customers.

They are the best sales because with your loyalty card, you can get five per cent on your bill when you buy five products X.

The margen is the most important on these products : between 35% to 60% againts 30% for the others products.

The merchandising, or the place of products in the shelves, allows to increase the sales of products X.

Products line up in the following way :
- above : national brand product
- in the middle : X brand
- below : low price item

When there is a problem of supply, or when an employee throws too many out-of-date products. The director talks about the employee to correct these problems. Decisions are made quikly.

It is a family firm. There is a good relationship between Director and employees.

The employees are involved in the quality process, they work as a team and show lots of solidarity to be effective in their work.

The store is high performance. His competitors have a turnover less important than X.

In time, the packaging is getting better.
Loyalty card evolves.
And the price increase with the economic crisis.
Products sold to individual consumer.
The market is growing, indeed the turnover and the number of the customers increase every year.

Merci d'avance

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-10-2011 23:17



Réponse: Travail au supermarché de robertbrou, postée le 14-10-2011 à 15:03:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,


Echelle: rouge=orthographe, rose=faute, vert=proposition offerte, bleu=correct mais il y a une meilleure possibilité ; (explications/conseils entre parenthèses)


I worked at xxx from july to august.
In the morning, I had to put the products (I was responsible ...) on the shelves everywhere (moi, j'utiliserais une expression comme 'dans tous les rayons') in the store. In the afternoon, I was the assistant of the Director. He explained to me the functioning of his job. (un peu lourd; réessayer avec how...)

X is a supermarket whose market two types of food products : fresh and dried products. (dried indique desséché)

In a supermarket, you find razors and pens in the general merchandise department.

Concerning the products, there are three qualities  (Commencer par There are three...):
- low priced items
- high-end products as nacional brands
- X brand product = good value for money

Specialists say that low price item (idem) is bad for our health but it's less expensive than others products.

Packaging is very simple and it don't (accord sujet verbe) draw customers' attention to this product.

Packaging is carefully done (C'est à dire?).

Packaging is wonderfull for the children and customers. (C'est à dire?)

They are the best sales (revoir bon marché) because with your loyalty card, you can get five per cent on (on or off?) your bill when you buy five products X (placement).

The margen is the most important on these products : between 35% to 60% againts (orthographe et utiliser autre mot de comparaison) 30% for the others products.

The merchandising, or the product placement (expression idiomatique) in the shelves, allows to increase the sales of products X (idem).

Products line up (réutiliser variation de 'product placement') in the following way :
- above : national brand product
- in the middle : X brand
- below : low price item

When there is a problem of supply, or when an employee (ajouter mot - 'est obligé de') throws too many out-of-date expired products. The director talks about the employee to correct these problems. Decisions are made quikly.


It is a family firm (utiliser synonyme). There is a good relationship between the Director and employees.

The employees are involved in the quality process, they (en faire 2 phrases) work as a team and show lots of solidarity to be effective in their work.

The store is high performance. (C'est à dire?) His Its competitors have a turnover* less important (placement + utiliser synonyme) than X.

(Je ne vois pas le rapport des phrases suivantes. Il semble manquer un lien. De plus, quelques phrases n'ont pas le sujet+verbe . Il paraît que c'est une liste numérotée)




In time, the packaging is getting better.
Loyalty card evolves. (Utiliser is + -ing)
And the price increase (idem) with the e
conomic crisis.
Products sold to individual consumer.
The market is growing, indeed the turnover* and the number of the customers increase every year.


*NB : Le mot turnover a deux définitions différentes selon votre audience: GB ;EUR=revenue  ; USA= rotation de l'emploi


Hope this helps !


-------------------
Modifié par robertbrou le 14-10-2011 15:03



Réponse: Travail au supermarché de asus21, postée le 20-10-2011 à 17:57:48 (S | E)
Bonjour et merci pour vos corrections

I was responsible to put the products on the shelves all in the store
I was the Director’s Assistant
He explained how his job functioned
X is a supermarket which sell two types of food products : fresh and dried (je ne trouve pas d’autre mot pour dire sec) products.
there are three qualities products
Packaging is very simple and it doesn’t...
Packaging is carefully done : je voulais traduire vraiment bien, parfait
They are the best cheap (revoir bon marché) because with your loyalty card, you can get five per cent off your bill when you buy five X‘s products.
When there is a problem of supply, or when an employee is force to throw too many expired products.
The store is high performance. (= il a un très bon CA) Its competitors have a less important turnover (je ne trouve que le mot turnover pour traduire Chiffre d’affaires) than X.

Merci d’avance pour de me dire si cela est correct.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2011 18:19



Réponse: Travail au supermarché de robertbrou, postée le 21-10-2011 à 19:53:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,

I was responsible to (for +ing) put the products on (désolé. Je n'ai pas mentionné avant. Le verbe à utiliser est 'restock'. N'oublier pas le temps correct) the shelves all in (throughout) the store
I was the Director’s Assistant (ou bien Assistant to the Director)
He explained how his job functioned OK!
X is a supermarket which sell two types of food products : fresh and dry products (aussi 'dry goods').
There are three qualities (manque un mot) products
Packaging is very simple and it doesn’t... OK!
Packaging is carefully done (Moi je dirai quelque chose comme "Products are packaged well" ou ferais une sorte comparaison entre les produits X et de marque: "Products are packaged well to compete against the major brands.")
They are the best cheap (cheapest? on dit souvent "best value") because with your loyalty card, you can get five per cent off your bill when you buy five (manque un mot) X‘s products
When there is a problem of supply, or when an employee is force to throw (manque un mot) too many expired products.
The store is high performance (utiliser n°3 de "performant"). Its competitors have a less important ('less' tout seul ou 'lower') turnover than X.

Hope this helps!




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