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Correction/ Fashion

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ Fashion
Message de sasa28 posté le 20-10-2012 à 14:51:46 (S | E | F)
Hello

I have written this short essay. Could you please help me to find my mistakes?
Thank you for your answers.


Subject : Fashion is only for fun and should not be taken seriously

Nowadays, fashion is taken seriously because some stars promote the new collection of brands like Lana del Rey for H&M. Whether we like it or not we wear these clothes unconsciously only by imiting the models that we see in advertisement, on the sreen etc.. Little by little, the physical appearance is propaged by media to trigger people to be fashionable. Indeed, the positive and beautiful image of stars and models who are famous and successful have a profond effect on people. They have the desire to be like them, to wear the same clothes.

No one can deny that wearing clothes is essential but we shouldn't give so much importance to our look. Our clothes can't express our real personality even if the way of dress is linked to a personality. The world of fashion is just an entertainment that we have to enjoy but it shouldn't become an imposing way of dressing. Unfortunately, people who don't follow fashion's rules are considered "old-fashioned". We must bear in mind that sometimes the old designs become again fashionable thus we can't be old-fashioned because fashion have no deadline.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2012 15:42


Réponse: Correction/ Fashion de gerondif, postée le 20-10-2012 à 15:27:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
quelques erreurs d'accord

Nowadays, fashion is taken seriously because some stars promote the new collection of brands like Lana del Rey for H&M. Whether we like it or not we wear these clothes unconsciously only by imiting the models that we see in advertisements, on the sreen etc.. Little by little, the physical appearance is propaged by media to trigger people (into being)to be fashionable. Indeed, the positive and beautiful image of stars and models who are famous and successful have a profond effect on people. They have the desire to be like them, to wear the same clothes.

No one can deny that wearing clothes is essential but we shouldn't give so much importance to our look. Our clothes can't express our real personality even if the way of dress is linked to a personality. The world of fashion is just an entertainment that we have to enjoy but it shouldn't become an imposing way of dressing. Unfortunately, people who don't follow fashion's rules are considered "old-fashioned". We must bear in mind that sometimes the old designs become again fashionable thus we can't be old-fashioned because fashion have no deadline.




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