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John's case/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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John's case/aide
Message de majicb75 posté le 24-01-2013 à 00:31:37 (S | E | F)
Hello,

I need your help to improve my writing for an English test that I have to pass take this onThursday.
I would appreciate it if you could correct my mistakes and let me know what you think of my report.
Thank you very much for your time.

The Director of Youth protection is involved in John’s Smith family following reports of abuse and neglect. It’s been reported to us that the mother doesn’t provide food for her child. On numerous occasions, John has been left without adult supervision for long periods of time. His mother uses drugs and can be gone for long periods of time without informing anybody. She has been founded unconscious by one of her neighbours and been taken to the hospital. John has been placed in foster care.
John is 4 year old and lives with his mother. His father disappeared when he was 2 months old and his mother doesn’t have any contacts with him. She has full custody. He’s a boy who looks like he suffered from neglect. His clothes are dirty and he looks really skinny. When we asked him about the foods he likes, he said that usually he doesn’t eat. When we visited the house, the fridge and the pantry were empty. They were used needles on the floor and the house was unclean.

His mother has seek help for her drug abuse in the past but now, she relapsed. She recognizes that she can no longer care for her son and agreed that he should be placed in foster care. She’s been charged with some misdemeanours and is on probation. We tried to reach John’s father but we couldn’t.

For our assessment, we interviewed John’s mother. She cooperated with us and recognized her difficulties. She agreed that she needs help.

The results of our assessment are that John needs to be in a secure environment where his basic needs will be met. His mother needs to take care of herself before being able to care for her son.

We recommend that John be placed in foster care
We recommend that the mother must entered a drug rehabilitation program
We recommend that the mother receive help and assistance
We recommend that a Youth Protection delegate be involved in the family until the situation improve

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2013 08:49


Réponse: John's case/aide de sherry48, postée le 24-01-2013 à 00:45:16 (S | E)
Hello.
There are not many errors, but most are with the verbs. In a report of this nature, it would be better to not use contractions such as it's.
The Director of Youth protection is involved in John’s Smith family following reports of abuse and neglect. It’s been reported to us that the mother doesn’t provide food for her child. On numerous occasions, John has been left without adult supervision for long periods of time. His mother uses drugs and can be gone for long periods of time without informing anybody. She has been founded unconscious by one of her neighbours and been taken to the hospital. John has been placed in foster care.
John is 4 year old and lives with his mother. His father disappeared when he was 2 months old and his mother doesn’t have any contacts with him. She has full custody. He’s a boy who looks like he suffered (tense) from neglect. His clothes are dirty and he looks really skinny. When we asked him about the foods he likes, he said that usually he doesn’t eat. When we visited the house, the fridge and the pantry were empty. They were used needles on the floor and the house was unclean.

His mother has seek help for her drug abuse in the past but now, she relapsed.(tense) She recognizes that she can no longer care for her son and agreed (keep verbs the same tense within the sentence) that he should be placed in foster care. She’s been charged with some misdemeanours and is on probation. We tried to reach John’s father but we couldn’t.

For our assessment, we interviewed John’s mother. She cooperated with us and recognized her difficulties. She agreed that she needs help.

The results of our assessment are that John needs to be in a secure environment where his basic needs will be met. His mother needs to take care of herself before being able to care for her son.

We recommend that John be placed in foster care
We recommend that the mother must entered a drug rehabilitation program
We recommend that the mother receive help and assistance
We recommend that a Youth Protection delegate be involved in the family until the situation improve

Sherry





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