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Correction/Nice

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Nice
Message de lepiaf08 posté le 10-03-2013 à 18:07:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous
Pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît?
Je dois faire une expression écrite et il faut qu'elle soit dans un de ses sujets:
-mythes et héros
-espaces et échanges
-l'idée de progrès
-lieux et formes de pouvoir
Voici ma problématique : Nice est-elle une ville très connue dans le monde ?
Voici ma rédaction:

Nice Is a city well known in the world?
Nice is a city in the south of France and has about three hundred and fifty thousand.
Nice is a tourist town, it is known throughout the world for its climate. There are many travelers who come to the hot climate like the English who come to Nice to escape the rain and cold of England. That is why we gave this name to the "Promenade des Anglais".
Nice has a very favorable location for its coastline is beautiful. The sea and the mountains are very close. In summer you can go to the beach or to the mountains for hiking or doing any other activity such as cycling, winter on the mountains there is snow, you can go skiing and coastal temperatures are hot enough that brought many tourists.
There are places well known as the "Promenade des Anglais", "place massena" or large hotels as "Negresco". If it deviates a bit of Nice you can go to the principality of Monaco or canne where the famous festival takes place.The gastronomic culture of Nice is known as socca, Niçoise salad... There are very strong sports like swimming Yannick Agnel won many medals and even the Olympic Games but also very strong and Nice mountain bike for example Nicolas Vouilloz ten times world champion.
Nice the second largest airport in France but however there is a small non-commercial harbor is a city not very powerful economically, there is no major conference organized on the territory.
So we can say that is a nice city known throughout the world thanks to its climate and culture, however it is not known for its economy.

Merci à tous ceux qui me répondront!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-03-2013 18:15


Réponse: Correction/Nice de laure95, postée le 10-03-2013 à 18:23:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
Nicepas à la bonne place) Is a city well known (mettre un tiret entre ces 2 mots) in the world?

Nice is a city (located)in the south of France and has about three hundred and fifty thousand.(quoi?

Nice is a tourist (pas le bon mot pour une ville) town, it is known throughout the world for its climate. There are many travelers who come to(pas la bonne préposition) the hot climate like the English who come (2è utilisation de ce verbe dans la même phrase!) to Nice to escape the rain and cold (chercher le nom correspondant car cold est un adjectif) of England. That is why we gave this (the following ) name to the "Promenade des Anglais".

Nice has a very favorable location for its coastline is beautiful. The sea and the mountains are very close. In summer you can go to the beach or to the mountains for hiking or doing[/rouge](but: TO + INFINITIF) any other activity (à mettre au pluriel) such as cycling,(mettre un point + il manque la préposition IN) winter on the mountains there is snow, you can go skiing and coastal temperatures are hot enough that brought (pourquoi mettre le preterit?) many tourists.

There are places well known (pas à la bonne place) as the "Promenade des Anglais", "place massena" or large hotels as "Negresco". If it
que reprend IT? deviates a bit of Nice you can go to the principality of Monaco or canne (majuscules + orthographe) where the famous festival takes place (each year). The gastronomic culture of Nice is known as socca, Niçoise salad... There are very strong sports like swimming Yannick Agnel won many medals and even the Olympic Games but also very strong and Nice mountain bike? for example Nicolas Vouilloz (il manque un verbe) ten times world champion.

Nice (il manque un verbe)the second largest airport in France but however there is a small non-commercial harbor (mettre un point et un sujet pour IS) is a city not very powerful economically, there is no major conference organized on the territory.

So we can say that is a nice city known throughout the world thanks to its climate and culture, however it is not known for its economy.

Attention! Certaines phrases sont trop longues et il faut varier le vocabulaire. Tu fais beaucoup de répétitions.
Pense à utiliser des mots de liaison, faire 1 intro avec annonce de plan.


-------------------
Modifié par laure95 le 10-03-2013 18:24



Réponse: Correction/Nice de lucile83, postée le 10-03-2013 à 18:29:05 (S | E)
Hello lepiaf08

Désolée mais vous habitez à Nice, et vous connaissez si peu votre ville!
Nice est une explosion de joie de vivre, de couleurs, de senteurs, chargée d'Histoire et de modernisme. Vous oubliez son passé, son université, son Carnaval,son marché,le vieux Nice, son Cours Saleya, et tant d'autres choses...mamma mia!



Réponse: Correction/Nice de lepiaf08, postée le 10-03-2013 à 19:09:00 (S | E)
Merci pour ta réponse J'ai essayé de faire de mon mieux mais je n'ai pas tout réussi.


Nice (Je ne comprends pas pourquoi ce n'est pas a la bonne place)Is a city well-known in the world?

Nice is a city in the south of France and has about three hundred and fifty thousand.(Je veux dire qu'il y a 350 000 habitants)

Nice is at tourist town town, it is known throughout the world for its climate. There are many travelers who come to the hot climate like the English who come to Nice to escape the rain and cold (cold est aussi un nom, non?)of England. That is why we gave this the following name the "Promenade des Anglais".

Nice has a very favorable location for its coastline is beautiful. The sea and the mountains are very close. In summer you can go to the beach or to the mountains or hiking or to do any other activitys such as cycling.In winter on the mountains there is snow, you can go skiing and coastal temperatures are warm enough that brought many tourists.

There are places well known (je ne comprends pas pourquoi ce n'est pas a la bonne place)as the "Promenade des Anglais", "place massena" or large hotels as "Negresco". If we deviate a bit of Nice you can go to the principality of Monaco or Cannes.Each year where the famous festival takes place.The gastronomic culture of Nice is known as socca, Niçoise salad... There are very strong sports like swimming Yannick Agnel won many medals and even the Olympic Games but also very strong and Nice mountain bike? for example Nicolas Vouilloz has ten times world champion.

Nice is the second largest airport in France but however there is a small non-commercial harbor. Nice is a city not very powerful economically, there is no major conference organized on the territory.

So we can say that is a nice city known throughout the world thanks to its climate and culture, however it is not known for its economy.



Réponse: Correction/Nice de notrepere, postée le 10-03-2013 à 22:43:00 (S | E)
Hello

Is a city well-known in the world?

Est-ce une question ?

Is Nice a well-known city in the world?
Nice is a well-known city in the world.




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