Correction /aborigène

Correction /aborigène
Message de etudiant59 posté le 13-03-2013 à 13:08:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je dois rendre une rédaction en anglais, c'est un dialogue entre un aborigène australien et une personne qui avec son bulldozer détruit la forêt.
Mon sujet est d'imaginer un dialogue entre eux,pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît?
Merci de votre aide

( La première personne qui parle est l'aborigène)

-Men, what are you doing here ?
( The young man stops his bulldozers )
-I do what my boss want me to do, Why ?
-Sorry, I did not introduce myself, I'm an aborigines and my community lived in this land before the arrival of the white settlers. This forest is a sacred place for us and we want you to stop tearing the country apart.
-Oh, Sorry for destroying this place… but it’s my job.
-What ? You’re destroying the land and you say it’s your job! How can you ?
-I have difficulty in making ends meet, if I resign, I couldn’t afford to support myself. It’s necessary for me to keep this job.
-I understand but … there must be another solution.
-Although I work hard, it’s hard for me to pay the bills. I can’t resign and there is no work at this time.
-It’s surprising that nobody should protest. There used to be a lot of jobs, and they didn’t rip up the country. I wish the government would do something to create jobs.
I suggest you explain to your boss the danger and the effects of the deforestation.
-I’m pessimistic, he destroy everything just to make money and he don't care about the preservation of nature and Aborigine culture.
I’d like moving out but I can’t, we need money in this unfair society. Some people make profit and have a high standard of living whereas other are unemployed and live in misery.
-The world is off its axis, but will you try to convince your boss ?
-Yes, I will try.
-Thanks you men, you’re a good boy.
-I try to be one of them.
-Bye.
-Bye.

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-03-2013 18:15

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Réponse: Correction /aborigène de laure95, postée le 13-03-2013 à 18:24:25 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Voici ce que tu dois reprendre:

( La première personne qui parle est l'aborigène)

-Men (pourquoi mettre ce mots au pluriel? , what are you doing here ?
( The young man stops his bulldozers )
-I do (mettre au présent BE+-ING: action en cours de déroulement) what my boss want (erreur de conjugaison) me to do, Why ?
-Sorry, I did not introduce myself, I'm an aborigines (pourquoi le pluriel?) and my community lived in this land before the arrival of the white settlers. This forest is a sacred place for us and we want you to stop tearing the country apart.
-Oh, Sorry for destroying (mettre TO + INF) this place… but it’s my job.
-What ? You’re destroying the land and you say it’s your job! How can you ?
-I have difficulty (je mettrais ce mot au pluriel) in making (il manque le mot BOTH) ends meet, if I resign, I couldn’t afford to support myself (pas les bons mots de voc). It’s necessary for me to keep this job.
-I understand but … there must be another solution.
-Although I work hard, it’s hard for me to pay the bills. I can’t resign and there is no work at this time (mal dit).
-It’s surprising that nobody should (pas le bon modal) protest. There used to be a lot of jobs, and they didn’t rip up the country. I wish the government would do (pas le bon temps) something to create jobs.
I suggest you explain to your boss the danger and the effects of the deforestation.
-I’m pessimistic, he destroy(problème de conjugaison) everything just to make money and he don't (même remarque) care about the preservation of nature and Aborigine culture.
I’d like moving (WOULD LIKE + TO + INF) out but I can’t, we need money in this unfair society. Some people make profit and have a high standard of living whereas other (à mettre au pluriel)are unemployed and live in misery.
-The world is off its axis, but will you try to convince your boss ?
-Yes, I will try.
-Thanks you men, you’re a good boy.
-I try to be one of them.
-Bye.
-Bye.

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Modifié par laure95 le 13-03-2013 18:25

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-03-2013 19:15
Bug couleur réparé

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Réponse: Correction /aborigène de etudiant59, postée le 13-03-2013 à 20:00:07 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup :D je devrais avoir une bonne note :p

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Réponse: Correction /aborigène de kingofnowaves, postée le 14-03-2013 à 11:08:47 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Juste un détail, mais un aborigène dans le bush australien utiliserait plus un "Mate, what are you doin' ?"plutôt que "Man".
L'anglais académique n'est pas utilisé dans le bush. Il me semble intéressant de montrer cette différence de langage.
Une astuce qui pourrait vous aider est de visionner "Crocodile Dundee" en VO pour vous donner des exemples.
C ya !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-03-2013 11:53
here! c u

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