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Correction texte/MLK

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction texte/MLK
Message de zoe18 posté le 04-04-2013 à 18:34:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai réalisé ce texte à la maison mais j'ai dû m'aider du dictionnaire. J'ai donc des incertitures concernant la signification de certains mots.
Pourriez-vous corriger les fautes s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.

In 1865 slavery has been abolished in America but in the Southern States black and white were not equal because off the Jim Crows Laws. That’s why in 1963 Martin Luther King pronounced his famous speech “I have a dream”. Indeed he wanted equality between black and white. In 2008 Barack Obama became the first black president. Are there still inequalities between black and white today? After explaining in what extent black and white person are equal, I would say that there are still disparities.
51% of the population thinks that Martin Luther King’s dream became true.
First, Segregation is not any more in the law. In 1956 after the bus boycott which begin on December 5th 1955 driven by Martin Luther King ends segregation. In the 60’s Kennedy create the affirmative action to favor black’s employment and studies.
Secondly, a lot of black person are famous today because they succeed. For example James Brown, the black singer of the 60’s who sang “I feel good” influenced all the current music and showed the racial pride. Today there is a lot off well-known black actor (Will Smith), singer (Aloe Blacc), …
Finally blacks are more than more present in politic. In 1968 Shirley Chrisholm was the first black woman politician. In 2008 Barack Obama was elected president. Obama represent two things in Martin Luther King’s dream. Luther King wanted that black and white would be able to join hands and yet Obama’s mother is white while his father is Kenyan.

Nevertheless, there are still inequalities between black and white in America and 49% of the population thinks Martin Luther King’s dream become not true.
At first there are inequalities in the world of work. Blacks are two times more unemployed. In some states more than 50% of the African-American are unemployed. Furthermore white men gain access to managerial jobs. These figures explain probably why whites are twenty times richer.
Next a lot of black person are in American prison today. Blacks are seven time more likely to be incarcerated today. Even if whites are five time more likely on drugs than blacks, the police arrest more blacks.
To finish black’s living condition are worst than white person. The infant mortality is higher for African American and the life expectancy is lower surely because they are poorer.
To conclude black’s rank in America considerably progressed. Considerate as animals before 1865, there is today a black man in the head of state. Martin Luther King’s dream was partially realized but there is still progress to do. Maybe with the second mandate of Barack Obama inequalities between black and white will still improve black’s condition.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 04-04-2013 22:05



Réponse: Correction texte/MLK de laure95, postée le 05-04-2013 à 11:25:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
In 1865 slavery has been (pas le bon temps car tu donnes 1 date) abolished in America but in the Southern States black and white were not equal because off (orthographe) the Jim Crows Laws. That’s why in 1963 Martin Luther King pronounced his famous speech “I have a dream”. Indeed he wanted equality between black and white (à mettre au pluriel). In 2008 Barack Obama became the first black president. Are there still inequalities between black and white today? After explaining in what extent black and white person (pluriel) are equal, I would say that there are still disparities.
51% of the population thinks that Martin Luther King’s dream became (je mettrais le present perfect) true.
First, Segregation is not any more in the law. In 1956 after the bus boycott which begin (pas le bon temps: évènement passé) on December 5th 1955 driven by Martin Luther King ends segregation ?. In the 60’s Kennedy create (pas le bon temps) the affirmative action to favor black’s (pluriel) employment and studies.
Secondly, a lot of black person are famous today because they succeed. For example James Brown, the black singer of the 60’s who sang “I feel good” influenced (present perfect) all the current music and showed the racial pride. Today there is a lot off (orthographe) well-known black actor (Will Smith), singer (Aloe Blacc), … (pluriel!)

Finally blacks are more than more present in politics. In 1968 Shirley Chrisholm was the first black woman politician (inverser l'ordre des mots). In 2008 Barack Obama was elected president. Obama represent (conjugaison) two things in Martin Luther King’s dream. Luther King wanted that black and white would be able to join hands and yet Obama’s mother is white while his father is Kenyan.

Nevertheless, there are still inequalities between black and white in America and 49% of the population thinks Martin Luther King’s dream become not (conjugaison) true.
At first there are inequalities in the world of work (aml dit). Blacks are two times more unemployed. In some states more than 50% of the African-American are unemployed. Furthermore white men gain access to managerial jobs. These figures explain probably why whites are twenty times richer.
Next a lot of black person are in American prison today. Blacks are seven time (pluriel) more likely to be incarcerated today. Even if whites are five time more likely on drugs than blacks, the police arrest more blacks.
To finish black’s living condition are worst than white person. The infant mortality is higher for African American and the life expectancy is lower surely because they are poorer.
To conclude black’s rank in America considerably progressed. Considerate as animals before 1865, there is today a black man in the head of state. Martin Luther King’s dream was partially realized but there is still progress to do. Maybe with the second mandate of Barack Obama inequalities between black and white will still improve black’s condition.

Attention! vous faites beaucoup d'erreurs d'accord sujet-verbe, de conjugaison.




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