Lettre /Correction

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Lettre /Correction
Message de melmon posté le 10-04-2013 à 19:46:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai quelques doutes sur une rédaction. Pouvez-vous me donnez votre avis s'il vous plaît ?
Merci d'avance
J'ai mis en rose mes "gros doute".

Dear Sharon,
March 10th, 1968

By now you have been notified of Morgan’s death in action. He was killed during an air strike on Laos, trying to cut the Ho Chi Minh Trail. We were flying at low altitude when we were hit by enemy fire. Although he was sorely wounded, Morgan attended me up to his end, allowing us to bring the damaged aircraft to base, thus saving the entire crew. Unfortunately, we landed too late to save him. He died for his country and his sense of duty saved us.
Morgan‘s lifeless body is the hardest thing I had to see in my entire life. Morgan was the best friend I ever had and certainly the best I’ll ever have. I was younger than him and over the past two years, he became a brother to me, helping me keeping my spirits up, enjoying flying despite of the circumstances. More than my friend, he was my role model. I wouldn’t have been here if he hadn’t supported me, and I don’t know how I can carry on in this quagmire without him. I’m sorry, I’m not here to complain.
I just want you to know how much Morgan loved you, you, Peter and the baby. It makes me sick of thinking of him who will never know his incredible father.
I want to tell you, you’re not alone in your pain. Make sure I’m with you.

Jake

PS : I join you a picture that Morgan always brought with him in the cockpit.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-04-2013 21:48

Réponse: Lettre /Correction de gerondif, postée le 10-04-2013 à 20:12:45 (S | E)
Hello,
March 10th, 1968

Dear Sharon,
By now you have been notified of Morgan’s death in action. He was killed during an air strike on Laos, trying to cut the Ho Chi Minh Trail. We were flying at low altitude when we were hit by enemy fire. Although he was sorely wounded, Morgan attended (j'ai un doute sur ce verbe) me up to his end, allowing(enabling?) us to bring the damaged aircraft to base, thus saving the entire crew. Unfortunately, we landed too late to save him. He died for his country and his sense of duty saved us.
Morgan‘s lifeless body is the hardest thing I had to see in my entire life. Morgan was the best friend I ever had and certainly the best I’ll ever have. I was younger than him and over the past two years, he became a brother to me, helping me keeping (to keep) my spirits up, enjoying flying despite of the circumstances. More than my friend, he was my role model. I wouldn’t have been here if he hadn’t supported me, and I don’t know how I can carry on in this quagmire without him. I’m sorry, I’m not here to complain.
I just want you to know how much Morgan loved you, you, Peter and the baby. It makes me sick of thinking of him who will never know his incredible father.
I want to tell you, you’re not alone in your pain. Make sure Rest assured I’m with you.

Jake

PS : I join (you) a picture that Morgan always brought with him in the cockpit.

Réponse: Lettre /Correction de melmon, postée le 10-04-2013 à 20:43:06 (S | E)
Merci baucoup pour votre réponse rapide !

Dear Sharon, March 10th, 1968

By now you have been notified of Morgan’s death in action. He was killed during an air strike on Laos, trying to cut the Ho Chi Minh Trail. We were flying at low altitude when we were hit by enemy fire. Although he was sorely wounded, Morgan assisted me up to his end, enabling us to bring the damaged aircraft to base, thus saving the entire crew. Unfortunately, we landed too late to save him. He died for his country and his sense of duty saved us.
Morgan‘s lifeless body is the hardest thing I had to see in my entire life. Morgan was the best friend I ever had and certainly the best I’ll ever have. I was younger than him and over the past two years, he became a brother to me, helping me keeping my spirits up and enjoying flying in spite of the circumstances. More than my friend, he was my role model. I wouldn’t have been here if he hadn’t supported me, and I don’t know how I can carry on in this quagmire without him. I’m sorry, I’m not here to complain.
I just want you to know how much Morgan loved you, you, Peter and the baby. It makes me sick thinking of him who will never know his incredible father.
I want to tell you, you’re not alone in your pain. Rest assured I’m with you.

Jake

PS: I join a picture that Morgan always brought with him in the cockpit.

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