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Correction/Technologie

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Technologie
Message de seathas posté le 13-11-2015 à 20:39:44 (S | E | F)
Hello everyone.
It is me again, learning how to write essays.
This time my essay answers the following question : does technology make the world a better place?
Please point out any mistake, flag out any informal word, and criticize everything. I would welcome advice on the form,and want to know if my approach to answer the question was good enough, and if my ideas were congruent.

Introduction
God blessed the human specie with a brain. Contrary to animals, humans have always used their minds to develop new tools that facilitate their lives. The homo sapiens has come a long way since the middle age. The human has learned not only how to survive, but also how to create and innovate. From caves to skyscrapers, humanity keeps on improving. During the last few decades, technology has revolutionized the world like never before. Nevertheless, today some ask where this technology is going, and if we have made the world a better place.
1st paragraph
The industrial revolution shifted us from hand production methods to machines. Today machines dominate the workforce. They consume less, they do not get sick or pregnant and they are faster and more efficient than the human. Gradually machines started replacing the human in every field not only in the industrial work place. Machines evolved into a self-thinking technology. Task which used to requires teen people’s efforts, now can be done only by one person with the help of a computer. humans are not a valuable resource anymore.
Furthermore, technologies brought a fake world; a virtual world such as Facebook, Instagram, video games, virtual reality...etc.

2nd paragraph
Moreover, the process of developing technologies pushed humanity to deplete our motherland’s resources and the impact is tremendous; deforestation, polluted water, toxic air and radioactive wastes. All the risks humanity took for the sake of technology have created an imbalance in our ecosystem. The depletion of the atmospheric ozone layer by gases released engendered a global warming and if nothing is done to reverse it, it could mean the end of humanity as a whole.

Conclusion
A better world is a world that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.
where people can grow in prosperity. With the current situation, our word lack of thereof and most definitely is not a better place to live in. slowly but surely the human specie is running toward it extinction.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-11-2015 21:37




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