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Oral/Idea of Progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Idea of Progress
Message de jujubilingue posté le 13-04-2016 à 02:33:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale S et j'ai bientôt le Bac d'oral en anglais. J'ai préparé ma notion sur l'idée du progrès, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider et me dire si j'ai fait des erreurs?
Merci beaucoup!

I am going to talk about the notion of “The idea of progress”. To begin with I’d like to give a definition of the notion: a progress is a steady evolution towards a better stage. To illustrate the notion, I’ve chosen to talk about the status of women in India because it seems that their status have improved in recent years.
Is gender equality a fact in modern-day India?
To begin with, I am going to give some information about India. Then, I will talk about the traditional status of women in this country. Finally, I am going talk about the fact that women are empowering themselves.
India is one of the most populated countries in the world. The population size counts approximately 1,2 billion of people (one point two billion)! Among this abundant population are living an important quantity of boys and men. Indeed, as we can hear in the recording “families desperate for sons” India is becoming an increasingly male-dominated society.
Listening to this recording “families desperate for sons” we also understand that the origins of this issue can be explained by the position women occupy in the Indian society: “sons are financially far more attractive” than girls revealed the journalist.

Indeed, women in India are traditionally devoid of power: they are restricted to domestic chores (such as cleaning or cooking) and they have to stay at home to take care of her children.
As they usually remain uneducated (contrary to men and boys) they have less job opportunities and so, they often remain economically dependent of their family or husband. As doctor Rajiv Gupa says “ sons can look after the family business, they can look after the family name and they can also look after the parents when they are old”. In short: boys make money, girls cost money. In addition to that, the tradition wants the brides’ family to give a dowry to the groom’s family. That means that they have to pay money or to give gifts to the groom’s family. These are all the reasons why, a large amount of people decide to kill their daughters. This is what we can see in the text “another girl” when the father of the newborn baby girl said: “ We can’t keep this baby”.

However, India is a country becoming modern and a lot of initiatives with the goal of stopping (or solving this issue) have been put in place. In the recording “ families desperate for sons”, the reporter Priya Shreeda explains that sex-selective abortions and finding out the sex of a baby before birth have been declared illegal. Also, paradoxically to the traditional status of women in India we do know that some Indian women have held considerable power. We know that India is the second country to have elected a female prime minister: Indira Ghandi who according to Wikipedia, even was the second largest Prime minister of India!

As a conclusion we can say that gender equality is not a fact in modern day India considering the fact that gendercide is still practised a lot in this country. However, the status of women is improving: a lot of initiatives have been put in place to enhance their status. It makes me sad to see that Indian girls are less desirable to families. It also makes me sad to see that money can prompt somebody to kill a baby.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-04-2016 06:20


Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de bluestar, postée le 13-04-2016 à 14:04:32 (S | E)
Bonjour..
erreurs en bleu, suggestions en vert

I am going to talk about the notion of “The idea of progress”. To begin with I’d like to give a definition of the notion: a progress (pas 'a progress' mais 'progress' tout court) is a steady evolution towards a better stage. To illustrate the notion, I’ve chosen to talk about the status of women in India because it seems that their status have (accorde?)improved in recent years.
Is gender equality a fact in modern-day India?
To begin with, I am going to give some information about India. Then, I will talk about the traditional status of women in this country. Finally, I am going talk about the fact that women are empowering themselves.
India is one of the most populated countries in the world. The population size counts is approximately 1,2 (1.2 en anglais pas 1,2) billion of people (one point two billion)! Among this abundant population are living an important quantity of boys and men (tres maladroit: a reformuler, "the majority of the population "..etc). Indeed, as we can hear in the recording “families desperate for sons” India is becoming an increasingly male-dominated society.
Listening to this recording “families desperate for sons” we also understand that the origins of this issue can be explained by the position women occupy in the Indian society: “sons are financially far more attractive than girls" revealed the journalist.

Indeed, women in India are (temps?) traditionally devoid of power: they are restricted to domestic chores (such as cleaning or cooking) and they have to stay at home to take care of her children.
As they usually remain uneducated (contrary to men and boys) they have less fewer job opportunities and so, they often remain economically dependent of their family or husband. As doctor Rajiv Gupa says “ sons can look after the family business, they can look after the family name and they can also look after the parents when they are old”. In short: boys make money, girls cost money. In addition to that, the tradition wants the bride's family to give a dowry to the groom’s family. That means that they have to pay money or to give gifts to the groom’s family. These are all the reasons why, a large amount(un autre nom ici) of people decide to kill their daughters. This is what we can see in the text “another girl” when the father of the newborn baby girl said: “ We can’t keep this baby”.

However, India is a country becoming modern (ordre des mots)and a lot of initiatives with the goal of stopping (or solving this issue) have been put in place. In the recording “ families desperate for sons”, the reporter Priya Shreeda explains that sex-selective abortions and finding out the sex of a baby before birth have been declared illegal. Also, paradoxically to the traditional status of women in India we do know that some Indian women have held considerable power. We know that India is the second country to have elected a female prime minister: Indira Ghandi, who according to Wikipedia, even was the second largest Prime minister of India!

As a conclusion we can say that gender equality is not a fact in modern day India considering the fact that gendercide is still practised a lot in this country. However, the status of women is improving: a lot of initiatives have been put in place to enhance their status. It makes me sad to see that Indian girls are less desirable to families. It also makes me sad to see that money can prompt somebody to kill a baby.



Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de jujubilingue, postée le 13-04-2016 à 16:39:42 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé! Est-ce que c'est bien comme ça?

I am going to talk about the notion of “The idea of progress”. To begin with I’d like to give a definition of the notion: progress is a steady evolution towards a better stage. To illustrate the notion, I’ve chosen to talk about the status of women in India because it seems that their status has improved in recent years.

Is gender equality a fact in modern-day India?

To begin with, I am going to give some information about India. Then, I will talk about the traditional status of women in this country. Finally, I am going talk about the fact that women are empowering themselves.

India is one of the most populated countries in the world. The population size counts approximately 1,2 billion of people (one point two billion)! The majority of the population are boys and men. Indeed, as we can hear in the recording “families desperate for sons” India is becoming an increasingly male-dominated society.

Listening to this recording “families desperate for sons” we also understand that the origins of this issue can be explained by the position women occupy in the Indian society: “sons are financially far more attractive than girls", revealed the journalist. Indeed, women in India were traditionally devoid of power: they are usually restricted to domestic chores (such as cleaning or cooking) and they have to stay at home to take care of her children.

As they usually remain uneducated (contrary to men and boys) they have fewer job opportunities and so, they often remain economically dependent to their family or husband. As doctor Rajiv Gupa says “ sons can look after the family business, they can look after the family name and they can also look after the parents when they are old”. This exactly what is being said in the document “ Another girl”, when the father of newborn baby girl says :“we need a boy to helps us in the fields”. In short: boys make money, girls cost money. In addition to that, the tradition wants the brides’ family to give a dowry to the groom’s family. That means that they have to pay money or to give gifts to the groom’s family. These are all the reasons why, a large number of people decide to kill their daughters. This is what we can understand reading the text “another girl” when the father (whose name is Jasu) of the newborn baby girl said: “ We can’t keep this baby”.

However, India is becoming more modern and a lot of initiatives with the goal of stopping (or solving this issue) have been put in place. In the recording “ families desperate for sons”, the reporter Priya Shreeda explains that sex-selective abortions and finding out the sex of a baby before birth have been declared illegal. Also, paradoxically to the traditional status of women in India we do know that some Indian women have held considerable power. We know that India is the second country to have elected a female prime minister: Indira Ghandi, who even was the second largest Prime minister of India!


As a conclusion we can say that gender equality is not a fact in modern day India considering the fact that gendercide is still practised a lot in this country. However, the status of women is improving: a lot of initiatives have been put in place to enhance their status. It makes me sad to see that Indian girls are less desirable to families. It also makes me sad to see that money can prompt somebody to kill a baby.



Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de bluestar, postée le 13-04-2016 à 17:20:47 (S | E)
Bonjour..quelques suggestions

I am going to talk about the notion of “The idea of progress”. To begin with I’d like to give a definition of the notion: progress is a steady evolution towards a better stage. To illustrate the notion, I’ve chosen to talk about the status of women in India because it seems that their status has improved in recent years.

Is gender equality a fact in modern-day India?

To begin with, I am going to give some information about India. Then, I will talk about the traditional status of women in this country. Finally, I am going talk about the fact that women are empowering themselves.

India is one of the most populated countries in the world. The population size counts approximately 1,2 1.2 billion of people (one point two billion)! The majority of the population are boys and men is male. Indeed, as we can hear in the recording “families desperate for sons” India is becoming an increasingly male-dominated society.

Listening to this recording “families desperate for sons” we also understand that the origins of this issue can be explained by the position women occupy in the Indian society: “sons are financially far more attractive than girls", revealed the journalist. Indeed, women in India were(utiliser le present perfect) traditionally devoid of power: they are usually restricted to domestic chores (such as cleaning or cooking) and they have to stay at home to take care of her children.

As they usually remain uneducated (contrary to men and boys) they have fewer job opportunities and so, they often remain economically dependent to their family or husband. As doctor Rajiv Gupa says “ sons can look after the family business, they can look after the family name and they can also look after the parents when they are old”. This exactly what is being said in the document “ Another girl”, when the father of newborn baby girl says :“we need a boy to helps us in the fields”. In short: boys make money, girls cost money. In addition to that, the tradition wants the brides’ family to give a dowry to the groom’s family. That means that they have to pay money or to give gifts to the groom’s family. These are all the reasons why, a large number of people decide to kill their daughters. This is what we can understand reading the text “another girl” when the father (whose name is Jasu) of the newborn baby girl said: “ We can’t keep this baby”.

However, India is becoming more modern and a lot of initiatives with the goal of stopping (or solving this issue) have been put in place. In the recording “ families desperate for sons”, the reporter Priya Shreeda explains that sex-selective abortions and finding out the sex of a baby before birth have been declared illegal. Also, paradoxically to the traditional status of women in India we do know that some Indian women have held considerable power. We know that India is the second country to have elected a female prime minister: Indira Ghandi, who even was the second largest Prime minister of India!


As a conclusion we can say that gender equality is not a fact in modern day India considering the fact that gendercide is still practised a lot in this country. However, the status of women is improving: a lot of initiatives have been put in place to enhance their status. It makes me sad to see that Indian girls are less desirable to families. It also makes me sad to see that money can prompt somebody to kill a baby.




Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de jujubilingue, postée le 13-04-2016 à 18:59:14 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup!!!




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