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Message de saragha posté le 27-09-2016 à 23:58:49 (S | E | F)
Good afternoon everybody !
I hope you're all in a good mood !
I have to write a paragraph of the hidden dangers of the internet using connectors of sequence ( sequencers).I have written the first paragraph of the usefulness of the internet and this will be after the first paragraph.
Could you please tell me if I havedone made mistakes .I wrote this:
The internet can also be dangerous. First , we can waist time when we use the internet, it disturb kids by cyber bullying, sometimes the internet can give a wrong answers of any questions, it can also push child to the drugs or gambling and to the nude pictures or the inappropriate material or even to the sexual predators by using the chat rooms. So we have to take care!
Thanks for everyone!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2016 08:17
Message de saragha posté le 27-09-2016 à 23:58:49 (S | E | F)
Good afternoon everybody !
I hope you're all in a good mood !
I have to write a paragraph of the hidden dangers of the internet using connectors of sequence ( sequencers).I have written the first paragraph of the usefulness of the internet and this will be after the first paragraph.
Could you please tell me if I have
The internet can also be dangerous. First , we can waist time when we use the internet, it disturb kids by cyber bullying, sometimes the internet can give a wrong answers of any questions, it can also push child to the drugs or gambling and to the nude pictures or the inappropriate material or even to the sexual predators by using the chat rooms. So we have to take care!
Thanks for everyone!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2016 08:17
Réponse : Paragraph/dangers of internet de delf2312, postée le 28-09-2016 à 14:06:50 (S | E)
Hi !
I think that here, you are trying to work on how you organise your arguments so here is my opinion : I think you have too many ideas in only one sentence. The role of sequencers is to help you separate your ideas ! So remember : one idea = one sentence. I don't think you use enough sequencers : you have a "first", but there is no "second" "then" or "finally !
To finish, I think your ideas aren't developped enough so maybe you should try to give examples for each idea.
The internet can also be dangerous. First , we can waist ( haha waist = le tour de taille; I think you meant ... ?)time when we use the internet, it disturb kids by cyber bullying, sometimes the internet can give a wrong answers of any questions, it can also push child to the drugs or gambling and to the nude pictures or the inappropriate material or even to the sexual predators by using the chat rooms. So we have to take care!
Hope that was helpful to you.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2016 17:01
Errors in blue.
Réponse : Paragraph/dangers of internet de lucile83, postée le 28-09-2016 à 17:13:45 (S | E)
Hello,
Also...
...sometimes the internet can give a wrong answers of any questions, ...
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