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Message de twins98 posté le 06-02-2017 à 10:21:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pouvez-vous me donner votre avis sur mon oral et corriger mes erreurs si c'est possible s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance ceux qui prendront le temps de répondre.
A hero is a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, that we look up to. The myth is an oral legend which belongs to a fund so former as we cannot fix the origin. In Greece, where the word appears, he tells stories of gods or hero gathered under the name of mythology
To illustrate this notion we shall lean on several document, in the first place the movie " the Queen " of Stefen Frears.
In the first place, the movie "the queen" of stefen fire; this movie tells the wings of reports(relationships) between queen Elisabeth II and British Prime Minister Tony Blair, showing their balance of power in the days which followed Diana's death, Princess of Wales, to end in a political compromise on the way of handling its death, the British royal family not wishing that funeral have a national and official nature, whereas Tony Blair had the will to answer at the request of the British people, which demanded solemn burial. This movie shows us the conflict existing between Queen Elizabeth II and Princess of Wales, Lady Diana.
On the bases of this movie we shall wonder why lady Diana is a modern heroine(heroin) of times(weathers) and how the princess of Gall she(it) entered the legend and she(it) became a myth known for all.
Lady Diana is a heroine(heroin), contrary has her pairs, she is accessible(approachable).
Even if Diana will have to rub himself all his(her) life has the Queen and to the protocol it will succeed has to tighten falsified existing between the monarchy and the British people. Diana, Princess of Wales was an accessible(approachable) woman who took time to be interested in the others, but what makes ' it a heroine(heroin) is good on her commitment humanitarian workers; it is so, that she(it) makes creak many royal teeth, when she announces to want to organize to the palace of buckinghame reception reserved in handicaped.
Or still when she(it) posts(shows) boldly, her(its) interest and his(her) friendship for Sandra Horley who manages a refuge for woman beaten has the West of London. But his(her,its) first big fight of Princess of the people it is good on the tireless commitment against the plague which(who) have just appeared in the world: the AIDS.
She(It) seems to multiply, to be everywhere has the time of then which the humanity suffers and particularly the children. If there are places or they are tortured it is good in countries or continuation(suite) has wars cruel sole is still stuffed with antipersonnel land mines which kill them or mutilate them horribly. It will be the last big fight of lady Di. In January, 1997 it makes in Angola country ravaged by this wound, she throws(launches) it educational programs and raising awareness(sensitization) in danger of these invisible appearances(mines). In August of the same year, she(it) is in Bosnia for the same reason, and she(it) begins has to make play all his(her,its) influence so that is established at the international level a treaty for the ban on its infernal appearances(mines). Handled(treated) that unfortunately she(it) will not have time to see ratified by 122 has Ottawa on December 3rd, 1997;
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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2017 21:58
A retranscrire correctement sans indiquer plusieurs choix. C'est à vous de décider quel mot employer.
Message de twins98 posté le 06-02-2017 à 10:21:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pouvez-vous me donner votre avis sur mon oral et corriger mes erreurs si c'est possible s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance ceux qui prendront le temps de répondre.
A hero is a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, that we look up to. The myth is an oral legend which belongs to a fund so former as we cannot fix the origin. In Greece, where the word appears, he tells stories of gods or hero gathered under the name of mythology
To illustrate this notion we shall lean on several document, in the first place the movie " the Queen " of Stefen Frears.
In the first place, the movie "the queen" of stefen fire; this movie tells the wings of reports(relationships) between queen Elisabeth II and British Prime Minister Tony Blair, showing their balance of power in the days which followed Diana's death, Princess of Wales, to end in a political compromise on the way of handling its death, the British royal family not wishing that funeral have a national and official nature, whereas Tony Blair had the will to answer at the request of the British people, which demanded solemn burial. This movie shows us the conflict existing between Queen Elizabeth II and Princess of Wales, Lady Diana.
On the bases of this movie we shall wonder why lady Diana is a modern heroine(heroin) of times(weathers) and how the princess of Gall she(it) entered the legend and she(it) became a myth known for all.
Lady Diana is a heroine(heroin), contrary has her pairs, she is accessible(approachable).
Even if Diana will have to rub himself all his(her) life has the Queen and to the protocol it will succeed has to tighten falsified existing between the monarchy and the British people. Diana, Princess of Wales was an accessible(approachable) woman who took time to be interested in the others, but what makes ' it a heroine(heroin) is good on her commitment humanitarian workers; it is so, that she(it) makes creak many royal teeth, when she announces to want to organize to the palace of buckinghame reception reserved in handicaped.
Or still when she(it) posts(shows) boldly, her(its) interest and his(her) friendship for Sandra Horley who manages a refuge for woman beaten has the West of London. But his(her,its) first big fight of Princess of the people it is good on the tireless commitment against the plague which(who) have just appeared in the world: the AIDS.
She(It) seems to multiply, to be everywhere has the time of then which the humanity suffers and particularly the children. If there are places or they are tortured it is good in countries or continuation(suite) has wars cruel sole is still stuffed with antipersonnel land mines which kill them or mutilate them horribly. It will be the last big fight of lady Di. In January, 1997 it makes in Angola country ravaged by this wound, she throws(launches) it educational programs and raising awareness(sensitization) in danger of these invisible appearances(mines). In August of the same year, she(it) is in Bosnia for the same reason, and she(it) begins has to make play all his(her,its) influence so that is established at the international level a treaty for the ban on its infernal appearances(mines). Handled(treated) that unfortunately she(it) will not have time to see ratified by 122 has Ottawa on December 3rd, 1997;
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2017 21:58
A retranscrire correctement sans indiquer plusieurs choix. C'est à vous de décider quel mot employer.
Réponse : Oral/Mythes et héros de here4u, postée le 06-02-2017 à 10:57:10 (S | E)
Hello !
A hero is a person who is (Un pluriel conviendrait mieux ici, ou alors, vous devez mettre toute la fin au singulier en précisant "his or her courage" ...)admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, that we look up to. TheA myth is an oral legend which belongs to a fund so former
as we cannot fix the origin. In Greece, where the word appears, he tells stories of gods or hero gathered under the name of mythology To illustrate this notion we shall lean(C'est un oral ... ne pas oublier les formes réduites!) on several document, in the first place the movie " the Queen " of Stefen Frears.
In the first place, the movie "the queen" of stefen fire; this movie tells the wings of reports
(relationships) between queen Elisabeth II and XXX British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, showing their balance of power(very clumsy!) in the days which followed Diana's death, Princess of Wales, to end in a political compromise on the way of handling its 
death,(cette partie de phrase est presque incompréhensible ...et très maladroite. A revoir !) the British royal family not wishing that funeral have a national and official nature,(revoir la construction) whereas Tony Blair had the will to answer at the request of the British people, which demanded(to demand = exiger) A solemn burial. This movie shows us the conflict existing between Queen Elizabeth II and XXX Princess of Wales, Lady Diana (très maladroit ... she was then dead!).On the bases of this movie we sha'll wonder why lady Diana is a modern heroine(heroin) of times(weathers)
and how the princess of Gall she(it) entered the legend and she(it) became a myth known for all.(How can you hesitate between "she" and "it" when dealing with a person?)Lady Diana is a heroine(heroin), contrary has her pairs, she is accessible(approachable).
Even if Diana will have to rub himself+ XXX all his(her)A vous de choisir! life has the Queen and to the protocol
Désolée, mais ceci ne veut rien dire !!! J'arrête ici car j'ai vraiment l'impression, maintenant, de lire un brouillon qui a fort besoin d'être (re)travaillé ... Les parenthèses sont inadmissibles. Il vous faut chercher et décider en fonction de la règle qui doit s'imposer ...
Je veux bien regarder à nouveau, mais uniquement lorsque ce travail préalable sera fait. Bon courage.
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