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Idée de progrès/notion

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Idée de progrès/notion
Message de xxguizmo95xx posté le 01-05-2017 à 15:18:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez-vou corriger mes principales erreurs s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance.

I’m going to talk about the notion of idea and progress. To start with, I’d like to give a definition. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, development or a change-a technical, scientific or social adavance wich contributes to making the world a better place. In relation to the notion the subject of my presentation will be the inequalities in our societies. We may wonder to what extend did is gender inequalities still existing in our develloped countries.
To illustrate this notion, I will speak about 3 documents. In first, I will present the inequalities between man and women. Secondly the social progress and
finally we will see that today these inequalities still existing.

The first document I have chose is a picture. His name is Kenwood ad.
- He show man and his wife in kitchen. He’s wearing a suit as if he was going of to work.
- Submissive posture dispointed the fact she is supposed to be happy
- In large print there is, the chef does everything but cook, that is what wife are for.
This document illustrates an aspect of the notion in that it, the inequality between man and women is presented.
- But this kind of scene is not degrading. It is an appeal to women
- This is an advertissement to disount women from the productive members of the society.
- Their like machine. Because a machine stay home and do the work in the house.
The second documentIi have chosen is a text. His name is From housewives…to modern breadwinners.
- This document show the aid to families with dependant children given by the govenrment. Indeed the women are more free because they can raise their children alone thanks to welfare.
- This raises the pb of inequality between and women. But the author show aid of government to the independent woman.
Finally the text show that the inequalities between men and women still exist.

- Because The autor show the difference in wages. Between man and women.
-
The message conveyed in this text is that today there still exist gender inequalities. Indeed the women is less considerate than the man in our societies.

To conclude, the inequalities still exist but the government has reduced this gap between man and women. The women celebrities have helping to reduce this inequalities as clinton, angelina jolie who were influtiential in the societies. The transormations of family structures in our societies, which reflect the social changes that took place over the last century, are indeed the heart of debates between those who approve of these evolutions.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2017 16:09


Réponse : Idée de progrès/notion de laure95, postée le 01-05-2017 à 15:53:54 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- the subject of my presentation will be the (pas de the) inequalities in our societies.
- what extend did is gender inequalities still existing in our develloped countries: what extenT + sujet + verbe conjugué.
- the (pas de the)inequalities between man (pluriel)and women. Secondly the (pas de the)social progress and
finally we will see that today these inequalities still existing .


The first document I have chose (participe passé) is a picture. His name is Kenwood ad.
- He (un document n'est pas une personne)show (faute de conjugaison)(article) man and his wife in (article) kitchen.
- He’s wearing a suit as if he was going of (pas de of)to work.
- S(article)ubmissive posture dispointed (gérondif)the fact
- In large print there is, the chef does everything but cook, that is what wife are for: ?
the inequality between man (pluriel) and women is presented.
- advertissement (orthographe)
- Their (their = leur)like machine.
Because a machine stay (faute de conjugaison) (préposition)home and do (faute de conjugaison) the (house)work in the house.
The second documentIi have chosen is a text. His name is From housewives…to modern breadwinners.
- This document show (faute de conjugaison) the aid
- Indeed the (pas de the)women
- This raises the pb of inequality between and women.
But the author show (faute de conjugaison) (article) aid of government to the (pas de the)independent woman (pluriel).
Finally the text show (faute de conjugaison)that the (pas de the)inequalities

- The autor show
man and women.
Indeed the (pas de the) women is (pluriel)less considerate than the man (pluriel)in our societies.

To conclude, the (pas de the) inequalities still exist but the government has reduced this gap between man (pluriel) and women. The women celebrities have helping (participe passé)to reduce this inequalities (this + singulier) as clinton, angelina jolie (majuscules aux noms propres)who were influtiential in the (pas de the)societies.
- The transormations
- family structures in our societies, which reflect the social changes that took (présent perfect)place over the last century, are indeed (at) the heart of debates between those who approve of these évolutions (and who?)



Réponse : Idée de progrès/notion de here4u, postée le 01-05-2017 à 17:18:22 (S | E)
Hello!

I’m going to talk about the notion of idea and progress. To start with, I’d like to give a definition. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, X development or a change-a technical, scientific or social adavance wich contributes to making the world a better place. In relation to the notion, the subject of my presentation will be the inequalities we notice in our societies. We may wonder to what extend did is gender inequalities still existing (Sujet + verbe au temps qui convient != c'est une interrogative indirecte !)in our develloped countries.
To illustrate this notion, I will speak about 3 documents. In first, I will present the inequalities between man and women. Secondly the social progress and finally we will see that today these inequalities still existing.(attention de bien déterminer ces mots abstraits par le contexte ... ici, ils le sont un peu trop implicitement! )

The first document I have chose= past participle is a picture. His (neutre nécessaire!) name is Kenwood ad.
- He show(3è personne, Neutre)X man and his wife in XX kitchen. He’s wearing a suit as if he was going of to work.
-XX Submissive posture of the woman dispointed the fact she is supposed to be happy
- In large print there is, "the chef does everything but cook", that is what wife are for.
This document illustrates an aspect of the notion in that it,verbe à la forme active? the inequality between man and women is presented.
- But this kind of scene is not degrading. It is an appeal to women
- This is an advertissement to disount women from the productive members of the society.
- Their= they're like machineS. Because a machine stay home and do the work in the house.
The second document Ii have chosen is a text. His(du neutre!) name is From housewives…to modern breadwinners.
- This document show the aid (1) to families with dependant children (1 given by the govenrment.) Indeed the women are more free ??? because they can raise their children alone thanks to welfare.
- This raises the pb of inequality between ??? and women. But the author show XXX aid of government to the independent woman.(Sorry! I don't get it!)
Finally the text show that the inequalities between men and women still exist.

- Because The autor show the difference in wages. Between man and women.
-
The message conveyed in this text is that today there(X) still exist(X gender inequalities). Indeed the women is less considerate than the man in our societies.

To conclude, the inequalities still exist but the government has reduced this gap between man and women. The women celebrities [......] have helping(participe passé) to reduce this inequalities [as HC clinton, angelina jolie who were influtiential in the societies). The transFormations of XXX family structures in our societies, which reflect the social changes that took place over the last century, are indeed the heart of debates between those who approve of these evolutions.



Réponse : Idée de progrès/notion de xxguizmo95xx, postée le 06-05-2017 à 12:49:22 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !




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