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Oral / LVA

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral / LVA
Message de azertyuiop60 posté le 22-06-2017 à 21:35:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
étant en lva (langue vivante approfondie) je passe mon oral bientôt, j'aurais vraiment besoin d'une correction de ce que je vais dire, je remercie d'avance la personne qui pourra m'aider

I'm going to deal with the notion idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. Progress is the idea that the world and the society can evolve positively in therms of sciences, technology, modernization, living condition, etc. However, the idea of progress is still debate between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those for whom it’s harmful. Now, I propose we look at a question : « Should we fear progress ? »

To begin with, we shall see that progress is beneficial to the human species. finally we will see that the way it can be exercised can be revealed very dangerous.

Genetic engineering refers to the different processes and techniques used to work directly on genes.
Genetic engineering makes it possible to isolate a gene, observe it, clone it ...Genetic engineering is one of the main scientific advances of the twentieth century.
At first sightThis has great potential for development. It offers many opportunities for application in biomedical research.
For example, my first document which is also my personnal document An article on a blog written by Lee morgan and update on 25th April 2017. This article lists the positive effects of genetic engineering
Genetic engineering is a huge step forward in the healthcare world
Its use could greatly improve human health. It would be able to heal people with deadly diseases such as AIDS or cancer. Genetic engineering would also be beneficial for people with hereditary diseases since it would prevent the transmission of these diseases by suppressing the passage of the gene containing it.what would really be a good thing for children born with Tay-Sachs disease for example
Furthermore, thanks to it, the improvement of medicines in order to make them more effective would be possible,
Genetic engineering is also beneficial from an agricultural point of view, since it is now possible to design virtually perfect plants so that they produce the best possible fruit and vegetables. And thus increase the quality of Foods Able to withstand to plant diseases
Genetic engineering would also be able to help people waiting for a transplant Whose number is increasing every year since its use could make reproduction in culture an organ embryonic development

Nevertheless on second thought the alteration of the genes for therapeutic purposes can lead to more or less dangerous drifts
for exemple in the text "human possibilies" which is an extract of Gattaca written by Andrew nicol in 1997 Mario and antonio went to see the geneticist to choose the caracteristic of the new child. They must have been resorted to in vitro fertilization . They can use preimplantation genetic diagnosis to chose the the gender, to eradicate any potentially prejudicial condition like myopa, alcoholism, and addiction possibbilitiies, prospensity for violence and obesity. They can choose abilities of the future baby.
In this text the author denounces the aspect of perfect dna.
Indeed Choosing birth amounts to deprive men of his capacity for self-determination; it is to deprive him of his freedom. To put it in a nutshell his humanity.
Additionally, we have the impression that geneticist sells babies without feeling any emotion considering that he destroys embryos. This technique brings a large moral issue because many people consider that if many embryos are going to be thrown away, they shoudn't be created.

At last, Besides the fact that Andrew nicol denounces the perfect dna, he depicts a world where eugenics would have reached its peak
The Eugenics means the improvement of the genes of individuals of the human species by a deliberate intervention.
"Welcome to Gattaca" is a science fiction film which staging a society divided into two: a subclass resulting from natural births and a dominant class in which individuals are born genetically modified.
It is the genetic selection of man that determines his place in society, which is why the talented but naturally conceived main hero Vincent must perform a low-skilled job because of his short-sightedness and a heart defect then That he dreams of becoming a cosmonaut.Andrew nicol warns us against a world where science and technology have led to a world without emotions, without values and without freedom but also against the segregation that would appear between genetic elite and natural humans if we give too much importance to genetics

In conclusion, I’d say progress is neither all good or all bad. Put into the hands of human beings, that knowledge can be used for medicine or great advances. It’s not scientific knowledge that is either good or evil, but the application of it.
So, the original question brings us back to another questions, among other , of knowing where the limitations lie.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-06-2017 22:42


Réponse : Oral / LVA de gerondif, postée le 23-06-2017 à 00:29:53 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.
I'm going to deal with the notion idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. Progress is the idea that the world and the society can evolve positively in therms (terms)of sciences, technology, modernization, living conditions, etc. However, the idea of progress is still debate(construction) between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those for whom it’s harmful. Now, I propose we look at(construction maladroite) a question : « Should we fear progress ? »

To begin with, we shall see that progress is beneficial to the human species. finally(ce finally me surprend vu qu'il n'y a que deux paragraphes, j'aurais mis "puis, then") we will see that the way it can be exercised can be revealed(construction à la française) very dangerous.

Genetic engineering refers to the different processes and techniques used to work directly on genes.
Genetic engineering makes it possible to isolate a gene, observe it, clone it ...Genetic engineering is one of the main scientific advances of the twentieth century.
At first sight, This (it suffirait) has great potential for development. It offers many opportunities for application in biomedical research.
For example,(construction bizarre, ce for example, pas de verbe dans la principale qui suit... il vaudrait mieux dire Let's have a look at my first example,) my first document which is also my personal document : An article on a blog written by Lee morgan and update(participe passé) on 25th April 2017. This article lists the positive effects of genetic engineering.
Genetic engineering is a huge step forward in the healthcare world
Its use could greatly improve human health. It would be able to (grammaticalement correct mais maladroit.
. It would enable doctors to treat /cure/heal...) heal people with deadly diseases such as AIDS or cancer. Genetic engineering would also be beneficial for people with hereditary diseases since it would prevent the transmission of these diseases by suppressing the passage of the gene containing it.what(alors, ou bien vous mettez un point et vous reprenez avec That would be, ou bien vous mettez une virgule et vous résumez ce qui précède avec ,which would really be...) would really be a good thing for children born with Tay-Sachs disease for example
Furthermore, thanks to it, the improvement of medicines(je vois peu ce mot au pluriel) in order to make them more effective would be possible,(attention à votre ponctation, soit vous n'en mettez pas, soit ce n'est pas la bonne, là il faut un point.
Genetic engineering is also beneficial from an agricultural point of view, since it is now possible to design virtually perfect plants so that they produce the best possible fruit and vegetables. And thus increase the quality of Foods Able (pourquoi ces majuscules) to withstand to(verbe transitif) plant diseases
Genetic engineering would also be able to help people waiting for a transplant Whose number is increasing every year since its use could make possible a reproduction in culture an organ embryonic development

Nevertheless on second thoughts the alteration of the genes for therapeutic purposes can lead to more or less(ne va pas, vous pourriez remplacer can par may, verifiez le sens de "somewhat") dangerous drifts
for exemple in the text "human possibilies" which is an extract of (from) Gattaca written by Andrew nicol in 1997 Mario and Antonio went to see the geneticist to choose the characteristics of the new child. They must have been resorted(mal construit, erreur de point de vue. Vous confondez: They must have resorted to: Oh, je pense qu'ils ont dû avoir recours à, suppositin issue de votre logique et : ils durent , furent obligés d'avoir recours à, passé daté: They had to resort to...) to in vitro fertilization . They can(ce présent n'est pas logique dans le récit) use preimplantation genetic diagnosis to chose (infinitif) the the gender, to eradicate any potentially prejudicial condition like myopa, alcoholism, and addiction possibbilities, prospensity for violence and obesity. They can (idem pour ce présent, vous avez commencé par they went to see...) choose abilities of the future baby.
In this text the author denounces the aspect of perfect dna.
Indeed Choosing birth (mal dit je pense, on ne choisit pas "la naissance") amounts to deprive men of his(men est pluriel et his singulier) capacity for self-determination; it is to(sens?) deprive him of his freedom. To put it in a nutshell his humanity.
Additionally, we have the impression that geneticist (soit the au singulier soit pluriel de généralité sans the) sells babies without feeling any emotion considering that he destroys embryos. This technique brings a large moral issue because many people consider that if many embryos are going to be thrown away, they shoudn't be created.

At last, Besides the fact that Andrew Nicol denounces the perfect dna, he depicts a world where eugenics would have reached its peak
The Eugenics means the improvement of the genes of individuals of the human species by a deliberate intervention.
"Welcome to Gattaca" is a science fiction film which staging(présent simple) a society divided in two: a subclass resulting from natural births and a dominant class in which individuals are born genetically modified.
It is the genetic selection of man that determines his place in society, which is why the talented but naturally conceived main hero Vincent must perform a low-skilled job because of his short-sightedness and a heart-defect then That(alors que ?? ça ne se dit pas comme ça !!) he dreams of becoming a cosmonaut.Andrew Nicol warns us against a world where science and technology have led to a world without emotions, without values and without freedom but also against the segregation that would appear between a genetic elite and natural humans if we give (gave serait plus logique après would appear)) too much importance to genetics

In conclusion, I’d say progress is neither all good or all bad. Put into the hands of human beings, that knowledge can be used for medicine or great advances. It’s not scientific knowledge that is either good or evil, but the application of it.
So, the original question brings us back to another questions(singulier), among other(pluriel!) , of knowing where the limitations lie.




Réponse : Oral / LVA de originaloldman, postée le 23-06-2017 à 02:15:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
"Indeed choosing birth amounts to depriving" marcherait mieux je pense.
"To begin with," me semble maladroit, je dirais simplement "To begin,"



Réponse : Oral / LVA de azertyuiop60, postée le 23-06-2017 à 07:58:07 (S | E)
Tout d'abord je tiens a vous remercier pour votre aide précieuse. Voilà mon texte corrigé :

I'm going to deal with the notion idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. Progress is the idea that the world and society can evolve positively in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions, etc. However, the idea of progress was still being discussed between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those for whom it’s harmful. Now, we can wonder if we should fear progress

To begin, we shall see that progress is beneficial to the human species. Then we will see that the way it can be exercised may be very dangerous.

Genetic engineering refers to the different processes and techniques used to work directly on genes.
Genetic engineering makes it possible to isolate a gene, observe it, clone it ...Genetic engineering is one of the main scientific advances of the twentieth century.
At first sight it has great potential for development. It offers many opportunities for application in biomedical research.
Let's have a look at my first document which is also my personnal document An article on a blog written by Lee morgan and updated on 25th April 2017. This article lists the positive effects of genetic engineering
Genetic engineering is a huge step forward in the healthcare world
Its use could greatly improve human health. It would enable doctors to treat people with deadly diseases such as AIDS or cancer. Genetic engineering would also be beneficial for people with hereditary diseases since it would prevent the transmission of these diseases by suppressing the passage of the gene containing it, which would really be a good thing for children born with Tay-Sachs disease for example
Furthermore, thanks to it, the improvement of medicine in order to make them more effective would be possible.
Genetic engineering is also beneficial from an agricultural point of view, since it is now possible to design virtually perfect plants so that they produce the best possible fruit and vegetables. And thus increase the quality of foods able to withstand for plant diseases
Genetic engineering would also be able to help people waiting for a transplant whose number is increasing every year since its use could make possible reproduction in culture an organ embryonic development

Nevertheless on second thoughts the alteration of the genes for therapeutic purposes can lead to somewhat dangerous drifts
for exemple in the text "human possibilies" which is an extract from Gattaca written by Andrew nicol in 1997 Maria and Antonio went to see the geneticist to choose the caracteristic of the new child. They had to resort to in vitro fertilization . They could use preimplantation genetic diagnosis to chose the the gender, to eradicate any potentially prejudicial condition like myopa, alcoholism, and addiction possibbilitiies, prospensity for violence and obesity. They could choose abilities of the future baby.
In this text the author denounces the aspect of perfect dna.
Indeed Choosing baby amounts to depriving men of capacity for self-determination; It deprives him of his freedom. To put it in a nutshell his humanity.
Additionally, we have the impression that the geneticist sells babies without feeling any emotion considering that he destroys embryos. This technique brings a large moral issue because many people consider that if many embryos are going to be thrown away, they shoudn't be created.


At last, Besides the fact that Andrew nicol denounces the perfect dna, he depicts a world where eugenics would have reached its peak
Eugenics means the improvement of the genes of individuals of the human species by a deliberate intervention.
"Welcome to Gattaca" is a science fiction film which stages a society divided into two: a subclass resulting from natural births and a dominant class in which individuals are born genetically modified.
It is the genetic selection of man that determines his place in society, which is why the talented but naturally conceived main hero Vincent must perform a low-skilled job because of his short-sightedness and a heart defect whereas he dreams of becoming a cosmonaut.Andrew nicol warns us against a world where science and technology have led to a world without emotions, without values and without freedom but also against the segregation that would appear between genetic elite and natural humans if we gave too much importance to genetics

In conclusion, I’d say progress is neither all good or all bad. Put into the hands of human beings, that knowledge can be used for medicine or great advances. It’s not scientific knowledge that is either good or evil, but the application of it.
So, the original question brings us back to another question, among others , of knowing where the limitations lie.



Réponse : Oral / LVA de originaloldman, postée le 23-06-2017 à 08:58:39 (S | E)
Bon travail !

Regardez encore cette phrase :
"Indeed choosing baby amounts to depriving men of capacity for self-determination"
Si vous mettez "baby" au singulier, il vous faudra un article. "Capacity" a aussi besoin d'un article.
Aussi notez que le verbe "withstand" est suivi d'un objet direct.




Réponse : Oral / LVA de azertyuiop60, postée le 23-06-2017 à 09:47:25 (S | E)
D'accord alors si j'ai bien suivi : "Indeed choosing a baby amounts to depriving men of a capacity for self-determination" et "And thus increase the quality of foods able to withstand plant diseases"
C'est bien cela ?

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-06-2017 10:47



Réponse : Oral / LVA de gerondif, postée le 23-06-2017 à 15:23:11 (S | E)
Bonjour
I'm going to deal with the notion idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. Progress is the idea that the world and society can evolve positively in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions, etc. However, the idea of progress was still being discussed between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those for whom it’s harmful. Now, we can wonder if we should fear progress

To begin, we shall see (pas faux mais assez soutenu comme futur, we will see est plus moderne) that progress is beneficial to the human species. Then we will see that the way it can be exercised may be very dangerous.

Genetic engineering refers to the different processes and techniques used to work directly on genes.
Genetic engineering makes it possible to isolate a gene, observe it, clone it ...Genetic engineering is one of the main scientific advances of the twentieth century.
At first sight it has great potential for development. It offers many opportunities for application in biomedical research.
Let's have a look at my first document which is also my personnal (un seul n) document, an article on a blog written by Lee Morgan and updated on 25th April 2017. This article lists the positive effects of genetic engineering.
Genetic engineering is a huge step forward in the healthcare world.
Its use could greatly improve human health. It would enable doctors to treat people with deadly diseases such as AIDS or cancer. Genetic engineering would also be beneficial for people with hereditary diseases since it would prevent the transmission of these diseases by suppressing the passage of the gene containing it, which would really be a good thing for children born with Tay-Sachs disease for example.
Furthermore, thanks to it, the improvement of medicine in order to make them (it) more effective would be possible.
Genetic engineering is also beneficial from an agricultural point of view, since it is now possible to design virtually perfect plants so that they produce the best possible fruit and vegetables. And thus increase the quality of foods able to withstand for(verbe transitif direct) plant diseases.(Point en fin de phrase)

Genetic engineering would also be able to help people waiting for a transplant whose number is increasing every year since its use could make possible the reproduction in culture of an organ's embryonic development.

Nevertheless, on second thoughts, the alteration of the genes for therapeutic purposes can lead to somewhat dangerous drifts,for exemple in the text "human possibilies" which is an extract from Gattaca written by Andrew Nicol in 1997, Maria and Antonio went to see the geneticist to choose the characteristics of their new child. They had to resort to in vitro fertilization . They could use preimplantation genetic diagnosis to chose the the gender, to eradicate any potentially prejudicial condition like myopa, alcoholism, and addiction possibbilities, prospensity for violence and obesity. They could choose various abilities of the future baby.
In this text the author denounces the aspect of perfect dna.
Indeed Choosing baby (soit vous faites un nom composé, baby-choosing, soit vous dites choosing the genetic characteristics of a baby, parce que choosing a baby pourrait vouloir dire qu'on en achète un tout fait parmi d'autres sur l'étalage...) amounts to depriving men (mettez le au singulier parce que après, vous dites "him") of his capacity for self-determination; It deprives him of his freedom. To put it in a nutshell his humanity.
Additionally, we have the impression that the geneticist sells babies without feeling any emotion considering that he destroys embryos. This technique brings (raises) a large moral issue because many people consider that if many embryos are going to be thrown away, they shouldn't be created.


At last(signifie "enfin!" quand on attend quelqu'un qui est en retard, et non pas "pour finir"), Besides (pourquoi une majuscule derrière une virgule?) the fact that Andrew Nicol denounces the perfect dna, he depicts a world where eugenics would have reached its peak.
Eugenics means the improvement of the genes of individuals of the human species by a deliberate intervention.
"Welcome to Gattaca" is a science fiction film which stages a society divided into two(soit in two, soit into two parts): a subclass resulting from natural births and a dominant class in which individuals are born genetically modified.
It is the genetic selection of man that determines his place in society, which is why the talented but naturally conceived main hero Vincent must perform a low-skilled job because of his short-sightedness and a heart defect whereas he dreams of becoming a cosmonaut.Andrew Nicol warns us against a world where science and technology have led to a world without emotions, without values and without freedom but also against the segregation that would appear between a genetic elite and natural humans if we gave too much importance to genetics.

In conclusion, I’d say progress is neither all good or all bad. Put into the hands of human beings, that knowledge can be used for medicine or great advances. It’s not scientific knowledge that is either good or evil, but the application of it.
So, the original question brings us back to another question, among others , of knowing where the limitations lie.




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