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Correction/article de presse
Message de lounize posté le 25-08-2009 à 18:48:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens de terminer mon résumé et avis personnel sur un article de presse sur l'art et les graffitis. Je ne suis pas très forte en anglais, pourriez corriger mon travail ?
Merci d'avance
Resume:
Where do you draw the line between street art and graffiti? Since years the England tearing they hair out with street artist Banksy’s particularly for rising to stardom.
But who’s Banksy? Nobody knows and we will probably never!
In 2007, some artworks of Banksy were auctioned off and clearly the artist had some difficulty accepting to rise to stardom, as have city councils.
Regularly artworks crop up and city workers wondering what to do with them ? Bristol has decided to protect his artworks while London has decided to remove his paintings because if you condone this then you condone graffiti everywhere.
The contemporary art specialist thinks that he shows at everybody how to be subversive free of charge in zeitgeist.
He thinks that as long as he will remain anonymous, he will can contemplate the society of outside and comment on it.
Thug or genius ? He has achieved his goal : to do people thinking about the world they live in.
Comments:
I think that Banksy is a complete artist in modern art. He reinvents art in his way because if his paintings were on table they would not have the same impact. On table it would be just pretty while painting on the walls of the city gives everyone a little dream and escape.
It is interesting to find art where you do not expect. The artworks belong to anybody and everyone in same time. I like much his manner of proceed. It is very generous man and humble because he does not for money but just for people think about the world they live in. Moreover he maintains the mystery on him, nobody does not know who it is. I find that attractive. It is great !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2009 19:09
forum
Message de lounize posté le 25-08-2009 à 18:48:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens de terminer mon résumé et avis personnel sur un article de presse sur l'art et les graffitis. Je ne suis pas très forte en anglais, pourriez corriger mon travail ?
Merci d'avance
Resume:
Where do you draw the line between street art and graffiti? Since years the England tearing they hair out with street artist Banksy’s particularly for rising to stardom.
But who’s Banksy? Nobody knows and we will probably never!
In 2007, some artworks of Banksy were auctioned off and clearly the artist had some difficulty accepting to rise to stardom, as have city councils.
Regularly artworks crop up and city workers wondering what to do with them ? Bristol has decided to protect his artworks while London has decided to remove his paintings because if you condone this then you condone graffiti everywhere.
The contemporary art specialist thinks that he shows at everybody how to be subversive free of charge in zeitgeist.
He thinks that as long as he will remain anonymous, he will can contemplate the society of outside and comment on it.
Thug or genius ? He has achieved his goal : to do people thinking about the world they live in.
Comments:
I think that Banksy is a complete artist in modern art. He reinvents art in his way because if his paintings were on table they would not have the same impact. On table it would be just pretty while painting on the walls of the city gives everyone a little dream and escape.
It is interesting to find art where you do not expect. The artworks belong to anybody and everyone in same time. I like much his manner of proceed. It is very generous man and humble because he does not for money but just for people think about the world they live in. Moreover he maintains the mystery on him, nobody does not know who it is. I find that attractive. It is great !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2009 19:09
forum
Réponse: Correction/article de presse de robertbrou, postée le 26-08-2009 à 19:44:44 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Dans l'ensemble, c'est très bon est bien lisible. Voici mes suggestions pour raffiner:
Where do you draw the line between street art and graffiti? Since years the England (England is a country) (verb) tearing they (incorrect possessive) hair out with street artist Banksy’s particularly for rising to stardom. (rework)
But who’s (do not use contraction) Banksy? Nobody knows and we will (placement) probably never!
In 2007, some artworks of Banksy (make Banksy possessive and rearrange words) were auctioned off and clearly the artist had some difficulty accepting to (rise is a noun) rise to stardom, as have city councils. (place closer to 'artist')
Regularly artworks (placement) crop up and city workers (verb) wondering what to do with them ? (this is a statement). Bristol has decided to protect his artworks while London has decided to remove his paintings because (need something here to tie these ideas together) if you condone this then you condone graffiti everywhere.
The contemporary art specialist thinks that he (who? the specialist or Banksy?) shows
He thinks that as long as he will remain (use present) anonymous, he will can (too many verbs use synonym of 'can')contemplate the society of outside and comment on it.
Thug or genius ? He has achieved his goal : to do (use different translation of 'faire') people thinking (use infinitive) about the world they live in.
Comments:
I think that Banksy is a complete artist in modern art (use synonym of modern). He reinvents art in his (missing something) way because if his paintings were on table canvas they would not have the same impact. On table it would be just pretty while (use different word) painting on the walls of the city gives everyone a little dream and escape.
It is interesting to find art where you do not expect. The artworks belong to anybody and everyone in same time. I like much his manner of proceed (not sure if 'proceed' works here; verb +ing). It (man is a person, it is a thing) is very generous man and humble because he does not (verb) for money but just for people to think about the world they live in. Moreover he maintains the mystery on him, nobody does not (double negative) know who it (see previous comment on 'It') is. I find that attractive. It is great !
Hope this helps!
robertbrou
Réponse: Correction/article de presse de lounize, postée le 27-08-2009 à 11:11:08 (S | E)
Ok super un tout tout grand merci au moins je peux comprendre mes fautes et J'm'attendais à en avoir plus :o)
J'ai du faire un 2eme (et dernier) résumé et commentaires, cette fois ci sur l'entreprise "Slow Food"
Merci d'avance pour votre précieuse aide :o)
Resume:
Every day we eat around three meals. We are all consumers of food and we ask ourselves where all this food comes from ? Currently, imports and exports are taken for granted as well as the commerce of food. There are so many commodities which we forget the hard labor that there is behind : The food must first be planted, cultivated and then only harvested. We must change the way in which we approach food by respect for nature. Many people have taken a vow to make a better world.
The purpose of Slow Food is to counteract fast food and fast life. They say that people must more be interested in local food traditions and how it tastes. They encourages its members to be aware that the food they eat be produced does not harm the environment and animal welfare. It is their purpose to save the countless traditional grains, fruits, vegetables, animal breeds and food products that are disappearing because of industrial food.
Slow Food also created a University to offer a program in the science and culture of food. They organize some fairs, markets and events everywhere in the world to present products of excellent quality and attract new consumers.
Comments :
I think that we live in a world where there is much wasting of food. We live faster and we always do not ask from which food comes or what we really eat. I understand the purpose of Slow Food to educate people and become aware that the importance to protect nature and privilege the local food tradition. The products are surely better but also more expensive. I think that it is important to educate people to protect nature but it is also necessary to think of bank account. It is not always easy to reconcile good food and small economies. If the products were less expensive, me also I would encourage Slow Food but it is not the case.
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