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Lettre motivation correcte ?

<< Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Lettre motivation correcte ?
Message de zoprack posté le 12-01-2010 à 21:18:18 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,

J'ai écrit une lettre de motivation mais je ne suis pas sûr de moi en ce qui concerne le vocabulaire employé et pour ma grammaire.
Y'aurait-il quelqu'un pour me donner son avis et qui pourrait me dire si ma lettre de motivation est correcte ou non?
J'ai volontairement mis des "****" pour le nom de l'entreprise et j'ai sélectionné et posté ici les passages avec lesquels je ne suis pas sûr.


Dear Sir, Dear Madam,

It is with a great consideration that I have read your job offer for the position of ***** based in London and posted on your official website.

Working for **** and especially for the entertainment is for me the opportunity I always dreamed for over 10 years now.

The video game, which is my passion as well as IT, has an important part in my leisure and I like to keep me informed of all activity about the video game industry, including the latest news via the Internet or by specialized magazines.
The position of **** is an opportunity for me to be the intermediary between consumers and **** while working in an area that fascinates me. I could also help the users with my personal experience regarding the ***** products and the overall video game itself. It will be with pleasure that I would enrich the ***** experience with maintaining a visible online presence and supporting the users with reporting their issues or transmit their expectations to ****. Of course I know that the primary role of this job is to create and maintain a fun and healthy environment for the community and ensure compliance with ***** policies, terms and conditions on the website. In addition, working from home if needed would not bother me at all.

Regarding my qualifications, I think my computer training can be useful for the position. It also enabled me to know how to work in teams but also alone with computer skills. My English level is good and I practice writing English almost every day with English corresponding. This job would be a new experience that would allow me to improve my current English skills and a way to learn more about the English culture. Having finished my studies I am available immediately.

Yours Faithfully,

Merci d'avance à celles et ceux qui pourront m'aider.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 12-01-2010 21:20
Divers


Réponse: Lettre motivation correcte ? de bidule132, postée le 12-01-2010 à 21:42:58 (S | E)
Salut,
moi je trouve que ta lettre est pas male tu sais. Tu sais tu peux lui écrire comme ça !
@+


Réponse: Lettre motivation correcte ? de gerondif, postée le 13-01-2010 à 13:19:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Dear Sir, Dear Madam,

It is with a great consideration that I have read your job offer for the position of ***** based in London and posted on your official website.

Working for **** and especially for the entertainment is for me the opportunity I always dreamed for over 10 years now.
(to dream of: manque le ofaprès le verbe. 2) si for signifie depuis, il faut conjuguer au prsent perfect)
The video game, which is my passion as well as IT, has an important part in (is a part of est plus léger) my leisure and I like to keep me(supprimer, ou mettre un pronom réfléchi: moi-même) informed of all(every + singulier all + pluriel en général) activity about the video game industry, including the latest news via the Internet or by specialized magazines.
The position of **** is an opportunity for me to be the intermediary between consumers and **** while working in an area that fascinates me. I could also help the users with my personal experience regarding the ***** products and the overall video game itself. It will be with pleasure that I would enrich the ***** experience with maintaining a visible online presence and supporting the users (by + ing indique un moyen)with reporting their issues or transmit(ing) their expectations to ****. Of course I know that the primary role of this job is to create and maintain a fun and healthy environment for the community and ensure compliance with ***** policies, terms and conditions on the website. In addition, working from home if needed would not bother me at all.

Regarding my qualifications, I think my computer training can be useful for the position. It also enabled me to know how to work in teams but also alone with computer skills. My English level is good and I practice writing English almost every day with English corresponding. This job would be a new experience that would allow me to improve my current English skills and a way to learn more about the English culture. Having finished my studies I am available immediately.

Yours Faithfully,

Le reste se lit bien.


Réponse: Lettre motivation correcte ? de zoprack, postée le 13-01-2010 à 14:36:16 (S | E)
Merci à vous ;)



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