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Rapport voyage/correction

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Rapport voyage/correction
Message de cheesecake posté le 10-02-2010 à 15:16:04 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, je suis en 3eme et dois rendre dans quelques jours un rapport sur mon voyage en Angleterre à ma prof d'anglais. Je crois qu'il n'y a pas tellement de fautes mais je vous serais très reconnaissante de bien vouloir revérifier si je n'utilise pas les bonnes expréssions ou si je fais des fautes de grammaire ou vocabulaire car c'est un devoir important.

Le voici :

We took a really good breakfast and we said good-bye to Keith and Pau. Then we took our luggage and get in the car with Azeo who drove us to the meeting point where we found our comrades. The teachers arrived and we took the coach to Brighton to go to the Royal Pavilion.

John Nash has built the Royal Pavilion for the Prince Regent George in the 19th century. This Royal Pavilion is in an Indian style.
We had an audio guide, which taught us lot of things about the life in this Pavilion.
For example, in the marvellous Banqueting Room, there is a chandelier supported by painted dragon. But, before, dames who saw this dragon were scared.
Every body wanted to be invite by the Prince regent for see his beautiful Pavilion and be seen in this place.
This monument was wonderful! All the parts were beautiful, extravagant and full of colours. My favourite part of the Royal Pavilion was the music room, which was amazing. The beautiful chandeliers were in a shape of a lotus; on the walls, there are canvases in the chinoiserie style and the blue and yellow carpet.

Then we had a free time in Brighton for eating but Anne and me remarked that we had no meal. So Mrs Travers, Mrs Lejeune and Mrs Llechap Llop had kindly gave us money to bought one sandwich.
My friends and I went eating in front of the sea. There, two men and a girl asked us if they could film us for reportage on the statue behind us. They just asked us to make like if they were not here. We accepted. It just took a few minutes.
After that, we went to the Lanes to bought gifts for our friends. We bought them a lot of funny sweets and I bought a little toy for my brother. In all stores, we saw lollipops shaped breasts or penis. All my comrades saw these lollipops so it’s maybe typical of Brighton…
After our purchases, we went in a little snack where we took a milk shake but any of them were really good…

Later on, we went back to the coach to go to the ferry. But, during the journey to Dover, I was not feeling well at all and I had a fever, so I slept and I ate some fries...
Because of my fever, I don’t remember a lot of things about this journey in ferry.
I felt a little bit better after.

When we took the coach again after the ferry, we took a lot of photos, listened a lot of music and talked during the all journey.
I think that after this travel, we became closer to each other.

Dites moi si ce sujet n'ai pas approprié à ce forum afin que je le déplace.

Merci :-)

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Modifié par bridg le 10-02-2010 15:22
titre / divers

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Modifié par cheesecake le 10-02-2010 17:37


Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de ndege, postée le 10-02-2010 à 17:38:29 (S | E)

Hello,

Here are the most obvious mistakes :

Then we took our luggage and get [tense] in the car with Azeo who drove us to the meeting point where we found our comrades.

John Nash has built [tense] the Royal Pavilion for the Prince Regent George in the 19th century. ...there is a chandelier supported by X [determiner] painted dragon. But, before [wrong adverb], dames [Dame is a title followed by a name] who saw this dragon were scared.
Every body wanted to be invite [ending] by the Prince regent for [wrong preposition] see his beautiful Pavilion and be seen in this place.

So Mrs Travers, Mrs Lejeune and Mrs Llechap Llop had kindly gave [tense] us money to bought [infinitiv!] one sandwich [only one for all of you? ].
...two men and a girl asked us if they could film us for X reportage on the statue behind us.
In all stores, we saw lollipops shaped breasts or penis [adjective before noun and check compound adjectives].

Because of my fever, I don't remember a lot of things about this journey in X [determiner] ferry.

When we took the coach again after the ferry, we took a lot of photos, listened X [preposition] a lot of music and talked during the all [wrong adjective] journey.

Bye,

Ndege.





Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de cheesecake, postée le 10-02-2010 à 18:51:59 (S | E)
Thank you very much for this help , I will fix that ^^.

But for the adverb "before", I don't know how to say that. So if you can help me for this thing too, I would be very grateful !


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Modifié par cheesecake le 10-02-2010 18:54


Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de cheesecake, postée le 10-02-2010 à 19:14:13 (S | E)
That's what I managed to correct, and sorry to have made some silly mistakes!

Then we took our luggage and got in the car with Azeo who drove us to the meeting point where we found our comrades.

For example, in the marvellous Banqueting Room, there is a chandelier supported by a painted dragon. But, before, the ladies who saw this dragon were scared.
Every body wanted to be invited by the Prince regent to see his beautiful Pavilion and be seen in this place.


Then we had a free time in Brighton for eating but Anne and me remarked that we had no meal. So Mrs Travers, Mrs Lejeune and Mrs Llechap Llop had kindly given us money to by two sandwichs.

My friends and I went eating in front of the sea. There, two men and a girl asked us if they could film us for a reportage on the statue behind us.

we saw lollipops in shape of breasts or penis.

Because of my fever, I don’t remember a lot of things about this journey in the ferry.


When we took the coach again after the ferry, we took a lot of photos, listened to a lot of music and talked during the entire journey.





I don't know what to do for these faults:

"lollipops shaped breasts or penis [before noun and adjective check compound adjectives]"

and
"before"


Thank you and sorry to be annoying ^.^ ...

-------------------
Modifié par cheesecake le 10-02-2010 19:14


Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de ndege, postée le 11-02-2010 à 13:21:59 (S | E)

Hello,

See this for compound adjectives https://www.anglaisfacile.com/exercices/exercice-anglais-2/exercice-anglais-11119.php

But your initial sentence was nearly correct, a preposition is missing : lollipops shaped X breasts or penis (I was not fully awake )

Instead of 'before', you could use expressions referring to old times, old days, times long gone...

The entire journey is good, a more common synonymous of 'entire' is 'whole'.

To buy sandwiches. And don't forget to correct 'to bought gifts'

Other corrections :

- we had a free time [wrong determiner]

- we had no meal : we had not brought food/lunch sounds better


... and you don't bother me at all .

Have a nice day,

Ndege.

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Modifié par ndege le 11-02-2010 13:44


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Modifié par ndege le 11-02-2010 14:45




Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de cheesecake, postée le 11-02-2010 à 20:53:05 (S | E)
Thank you very much!
You helped me a lot !

Have a nice day ^^ !


Oh! And sorry for this mistake :"by" instead of "buy". I recently remark that I always confused these both words, even if they don't mean the same thing !
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Modifié par cheesecake le 11-02-2010 20:53

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Modifié par cheesecake le 11-02-2010 21:03

-------------------
Modifié par cheesecake le 11-02-2010 21:09


Réponse: Rapport voyage/correction de ndege, postée le 11-02-2010 à 21:58:47 (S | E)
Hi again,

No determiner before 'both' Lien Internet


Good night
Ndege.



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