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Lettre /Dear future family

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Lettre /Dear future family
Message de sarank posté le 11-02-2010 à 05:40:39 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,
J'ai une longue lettre de présentation à rendre le jeudi 11 février dans le cadre d'un séjour d'un an aux usa USA ,je la rends dans l'après-midi et je n'ai su que ce soir que je devais l'écrire en anglais ;pouvez-vous me dire ce que vous en pensez et aussi me dire s'il y a des fautes s'il vous plait,( c'est très urgent!!); merci.

Dear future family,

My name is Saran, I am a 17-year-old girl. I live with my mother and my five brothers and sisters : Ibrahim the oldest he is 22 I think that he is the funniest of the family , Bintou and Hassan the first twins they are 21 and they are both very nice but since the month of September Hassan have find a flat so now he didn't live with us anymore but he return several times at home to see us , and Makan and Sira the second twins and the smaller of the family they are 11 ( I was born between Bintou, Hassan and Makan,Sira ), in an apartment in the center of Paris. It's a big opportunity for me because Paris is a huge city, there is always something to do, many activities, somenew places to visit... I was thinking to go one year in the United-states for some times, this country attract me a lot, I didn't had been the opportunity to visit it yet, live in the bosom of an american family is the best way to have a thorough knowledge of the American way of life which is very appreciate in France. And as many people The USA are for me a dream alive. I gave it a lot of thought and despite the fact that will lose one year, leave my house, my family, my friend and all the things that have ever been around me since I was a baby is really crazy and incredible ! But my desire to discover make me forget all the little worst of this travel, some members of my family told me everytimes that I am too much inquiring. I'm now in the 11th grade, later I would like to be an interpreter ( long years of study expect me ) I think that this job correspond to me, we have often the opportunity to travel, speak many languages and therefore to speak with many different people as it possible. I am so in a rush to learn other languages that I have start this year in add of the other languages I learn to school, to learn dutch. It is a little bit difficult but I love it so I try to work as much as i can. Otherwise, during my free time I use to go out with my friends we find everytime something to do most of the time we go to the stores, to the cinema or in some fast food. Except for go out when I stay at home I always help my brothers and sisters to do the housework, I also love to read , I use to read italian book beacause I can speak very well italian. I have already tried to read english book but it was very difficult, i prefer watch american series in their original voice. I also love to surf in internet for watching picture of contries I would like to visit later. The only one contry I have been is Switzerland I go there every summer's vacation in a host family they live next to Italy that's why I can speak very well italian . Everytimes I meet a person I can be very shy but after this feeling is blurred, quickly when I start to know better the people with which I am because ie use to be very talkative. The great idea of going one year in the United-states happened to me by chance, I was surfing on internet when I found the story of one girl who said that she gone ine year in the USA with PIE, she said that before she didn't know what she would like to do after school because she hate school but when she goes back, she start to see the life differently,she found the necessary motivation to go on with school,she learn many things about the America, France and herself, she also sum up the beautiful year that she had the chance to live. Maybe it was in the way that she explain everything or all the things which give her this travel but in any case today it is thanks to this girl that now I will really enjoy to go in the usa for live the same experience that she live. All I expect to this travel is to live something which could make me proud of taking my own decisions , to have a good command of english , Have contact with american people and finally I expect more than all to live something very incredible which I will never forget.
With my thanks, I ask you to find here, Madam, Mister, the expression of my
distinguished feelings.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-02-2010 07:07




Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de sarank, postée le 11-02-2010 à 10:39:48 (S | E)
Merci pour les fautes de français ( il était tard et je n'avait pas vu ) mais e serait bien si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à corriger la lettre : ( je dois la rendre cet après-midi.


Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de laure95, postée le 11-02-2010 à 11:04:05 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois reprendre:
Dear my future family,

My name is Saran, I am a 17-year-old girl. I live with my mother and my five brothers and sisters : Ibrahim the oldest he is 22 I think that he is the funniest of (in) the family , Bintou and Hassan the first twins they are 21 and they are both very nice but since the month of September Hassan have find (present perfect: HAVE + PARTICIPE PASSE) a flat so now he didn't (présent) live with us anymore but he return (conjugaison) several times at home to see us , and Makan and Sira the second twins and the smaller (superlatif)of the family they are 11 ( I was born between Bintou, Hassan and Makan,Sira ), in an apartment in the center of Paris. It's a big opportunity for me because Paris is a huge city, there is always something to do, many activities, somenew (en 2 mots) places to visit... I was thinking (présent perfect) to go one year in (to) the United-states for some times, this country attract (conjugaison) me a lot, I didn't had been (temps) the opportunity to visit it yet, live in the bosom of an american family is the best way to have a thorough knowledge of the American way of life which is very appreciate (participe passé) in France. And as many people The USA are for me a dream alive. I gave it a lot of thought and despite the fact that I will lose one year, leave my house, my family, my friend and all the things that have ever been around me since I was a baby is really crazy and incredible ! But my desire to discover make (conjugaison) me forget all the little worst ? of this travel, some members of my family told me everytimes that I am too much inquiring. I'm now in the 11th grade, later I would like to be an interpreter ( long years of study expect me ) I think that this job correspond (conjugaison) to me, we have often the opportunity to travel, speak many languages and therefore to speak with many different people as it possible. I am so in a rush to learn other languages that I have start (conjugaison) this year in add of the other languages I learn to school, to learn dutch. It is a little bit difficult but I love it so I try to work as much as i can. Otherwise, during my free time I use to go out with my friends we find everytime something to do most of the time we go to the stores, to the cinema or in some fast foods.


Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de laure95, postée le 11-02-2010 à 11:10:33 (S | E)
Except for go out when I stay at home ? I always help my brothers and sisters to do the housework, I also love to read (verbe de gout + verbe en -ing) , I use to read italian books beacause I can speak very well italian. I have already tried to read english books but it was very difficult, i prefer watch (même remarque) american series in their original voice. I also love to surf in internet for watching (to watch) pictures of contries I would like to visit later. The only one contry I have been is Switzerland I go there every summer's vacation in a host family they live next to Italy that's why I can speak very well italian . Everytimes I meet a person I can be very shy but after this feeling is blurred, quickly when I start to know better the people with which I am because ie use to be very talkative. The great idea of going one year in (to) the United-states happened to me by chance, I was surfing on internet when I found the story of one girl who said that she gone (temps?) ine year in the USA with PIE, she said that before she didn't know what she would like to do after school because she hate (prétérit) school but when she goes back, she start to see the life differently,she found the necessary motivation to go on with school,she learn many things about the America, France and herself, she also sum up the beautiful year that she had had the chance to live. Maybe it was in the way that she explain everything or all the things which give her this travel but in any case today it is thanks to this girl that now I will really enjoy to go in the usa for (to) live the same experience that she live. All I expect to this travel is to live something which could make me proud of taking my own decisions , to have a good command of english , Have contact with american people and finally I expect more than all to live something very incredible which I will never forget.
With my thanks, I ask you to find here, Madam, Mister, the expression of my
distinguished feelings.

Attention à la conjugaison du présent simple (3è personne du singulier) , du présent perfect et à la concordance des temsp dans le passé!


Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de sarank, postée le 11-02-2010 à 11:41:55 (S | E)
Je tiens tout d'abord à te remercier pour ton aide elle m'est vraiment très précieuse merci beaucoup!


Voici ce que sa donne :

Dear my future family,

My name is Saran, I am a 17-year-old girl. I live with my mother and my five brothers
and sisters : Ibrahim the oldest is 22 I think that he is the funniest in the family ,
Bintou and Hassan the first twins are 21 and they are both very nice but since
September Hassan have found a flat so now he don't live with us anymore but
he returns several times at home to see us , and Makan and Sira the second twins and
the smallest of the family are 11 ( I was born between Bintou, Hassan and
Makan,Sira ), in an apartment in the center of Paris. It's a big opportunity for me
because Paris is a huge city, there is always something to do, many activities, some
new places to visit... I have thought to go one year to the United-states for some times,
this country attracts me a lot, I have never had the opportunity to visit it yet, live in the
bosom of an american family is the best way to have a thorough knowledge of the
American way of life which is very admire in France. And as many people The USA
are for me a dream real. I gave it a lot of thought and despite the fact that I will lose one
year, leave my house, my family, my friend and all the things that have ever been
around me since I was a baby is really crazy and incredible ! But my desire to discover
makes me forget all the disadvantages of this travel, some members of my family told
me everytimes that I am too much inquiring. I'm now in the 11th grade, later I would like
to be an interpreter ( long years of study expect me ) I think that this job corresponds to
me, we have often the opportunity to travel, speak many languages and therefore to
speak with many different people as it possible. I am so in a rush to learn other
languages that I had started this year in add of the other languages I learn to school, to
learn dutch. It is a little bit difficult but I love it so I try to work as much as i can.
Otherwise, during my free time I go out with my friends we find everytime something to
do most of the time we go to the stores, to the cinema or in some fast foods. Except
go out, when I stay at home I always help my brothers and sisters to do the housework, I
also love reading , most of the time I read italian books beacause I can speak very well
italian. I have already tried to read english books but it was very difficult, i prefer
watching american series in their original voice. I also love to surfinternet to watching
pictures of contries I would like to visit later. The only one I have been is Switzerland I go
there every summer's vacation in a host family they live next to Italy that's why I can
speak very well italian . Everytimes I meet a person I can be very shy but after this
feeling is blurred, quickly when I start to know better the people with which I am
because I use to be very talkative. The great idea of going one year to the United-states
happened to me by chance, I was surfing on internet when I found the story of one girl
who said that she have been one year in the USA with PIE, she said that before she
didn't know what she would like to do after school because she hated school but when
she returns in France, she started to see the life differently,she found the necessary
motivation to go on with school, she learnt many things about America, France and
herself, she also sums up the beautiful year that she had had the chance to live. Maybe
it was in the way that she explains everything or all the things which give her this travel
but in any case today it is thanks to this girl that now I will really enjoy to go in the usa
to live the same experience that she lived. All I expect to this travel is to live something
which could make me proud of taking my own decisions , to have a good command of
english , Have contact with american people and finally I expect more than all to live something very incredible which I will never forget.






With my thanks, I ask you to find here, Madam, Mister, the expression of my
distinguished feelings.


Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de ingremance, postée le 11-02-2010 à 14:41:04 (S | E)
Salut Saran, j'ai modifié ta lettre. Essaie des phrases plus courtes, elles évitent de traduire mot à mot. Sépare en paragraphes. GOOD LUCK!--
Dear future family,
My name is Saran, I am a 17-year-old girl. I live with my mother and my five brothers and sisters : Ibrahim the oldest is 22.I think that he is the funniest in the family , Bintou and Hassan,the first twins, are 21 and they are both very nice, but since September Hassan has found a flat so now he doesn't live with us anymore but he often comes back home to see us , and Makan and Sira, the second twins and the youngest of the family, are 11. ( I was born between Bintou, Hassan and Makan,Sira ), in an apartment in the center of Paris. It's a big opportunity for me because Paris is a huge city, there is always something to do, many activities, new places to visit... I have thought about going to the United-states for some time, this country attracts me a lot, I have never had the opportunity to visit it yet. Living in the bosom of an american family is the best way to have a thorough knowledge of the American way of life, which is very admired in France. Like many people, the USA are for me a dream come true. I gave it a lot of thought and despite the fact that I will lose one year, leave my house, my family, my friends and all the things that have ever been around me since I was a baby is really crazy and incredible ! But my desire to discover makes me forget all the disadvantages of this stay.
Some members of my family told me many times that I am too inquiring. I'm now in the 11th grade, later I would like to be an interpreter ( long years of study await me ) I think that this job suits me, we often have the opportunity to travel, speak many languages and therefore talk to as many people as possible. I am so eager to learn other languages that this year,in addition to the other languages I learn in school, I started to learn Dutch. It is a little bit difficult, but I love it, so I try to work as much as I can.
Otherwise, during my free time I go out with my friends; we always find something to do. Most of the time we go to stores, to the cinema or to some fast food restaurants. When I stay at home, I always help my brothers and sisters to do their homework.I also love reading , most of the time I read Italian books because I can speak Italian very well. I have already tried to read English books but it was very difficult, I prefer watching American series in their original voice. I also love surfing the Internet;watching
pictures of contries I would like to visit later. The only one I have been to is Switzerland. I go there every in a host family. They live next to Italy that's why I can speak Italian very well . Everytime I meet a person I can be very shy but later this feeling is blurred, quickly when I start to know the people better because I am usually very talkative. The great idea of going one year to the United-states came to me by chance, I was surfing the Internet when I read the story of one girl who said that she had been one year in the USA with PIE, she said that before, she didn't know what she would like to do after school because she hated school but when she returned to France, she started to see life differently, she found the necessary motivation to go on with school, she learnt many things about America, France and
herself, she also summed up the beautiful year that she had had the chance to live. Maybe it was in the way that she explained everything or all the things her stay gave her, but in any case today it is thanks to this girl that now I will really enjoy going to the USA to live the same experience that she lived. All I expect from this stay is to live something which could make me proud of taking my own decisions , to have a good command of
English , have contact with American people and finally I expect above all to live something incredible which I will never forget.
Yours truly, Saran


Réponse: Lettre /Dear future family de sarank, postée le 12-02-2010 à 01:40:43 (S | E)
Merci à tous pour m'avoir aider c'est vraiment gentil : ))



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