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Rapport de stage
Message de anae posté le 10-08-2011 à 15:13:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Dans le cadre d'un stage de fin d'études ingénieurs en environnement, je dois faire un résumé d'une page de mon rapport de stage qui en compte environ 50. Compte tenu de l'enjeu (et de mon niveau plutôt médiocre en anglais), pourriez-vous relire mon résumé s'il vous plaît?
Une autre question, est-il mieux de parler de "summary" ou bien d' "abstract" ?
Merci d'avance,
Cordialement,
Anae
Risks generated by soil and water pollution are increasingly being considered. At the same time, economic players are increasingly being blamed for historical or accidental pollution. Our attitude to industrial pollution is evolving: what used to be tolerated 10 years ago is today no longer acceptable. And what about tomorrow?
XXXX is an international environmental engineering and consulting group. In France, this studies office has a workforce of five hundred persons. In 2010, its benefit was fifty millions Euros. The workforce is distributed in more than 20 offices and 5 fields: soil remediation, water, infrastructure, waste and safety.
I did my internship in the soil remediation team at XXXX. The aim of this work experience was to have a concrete vision of the work of a soil remediation junior engineer. In practice, my work consisted in carrying out various reports including around the issue "The support of a customer with a problem of soil pollution: from pollution assessment to contaminated sites management."
So, during my six-month-long internship, I took part in, among other things, two kinds of assignments: the pollution assessment and contaminated sites management. These two polluted site and soil management French policy tools take place at two distinct moments of a soil pollution problem. It identifies the comprehensive approach to manage a potentially polluted site.
My internship allowed me to gain a set of skills and professional qualities validating my degree in Engineering Management of Industrial Risks:
Having a practical vision of the soil remediation methodology ;
Communicating with team members, suppliers and customers;
Writing didactic reports to the customer ;
Using software such as Map Info or Corel DRAW;
Managing working time in order to meet deadlines.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-08-2011 16:23
titre et forum
Message de anae posté le 10-08-2011 à 15:13:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Dans le cadre d'un stage de fin d'études ingénieurs en environnement, je dois faire un résumé d'une page de mon rapport de stage qui en compte environ 50. Compte tenu de l'enjeu (et de mon niveau plutôt médiocre en anglais), pourriez-vous relire mon résumé s'il vous plaît?
Une autre question, est-il mieux de parler de "summary" ou bien d' "abstract" ?
Merci d'avance,
Cordialement,
Anae
Risks generated by soil and water pollution are increasingly being considered. At the same time, economic players are increasingly being blamed for historical or accidental pollution. Our attitude to industrial pollution is evolving: what used to be tolerated 10 years ago is today no longer acceptable. And what about tomorrow?
XXXX is an international environmental engineering and consulting group. In France, this studies office has a workforce of five hundred persons. In 2010, its benefit was fifty millions Euros. The workforce is distributed in more than 20 offices and 5 fields: soil remediation, water, infrastructure, waste and safety.
I did my internship in the soil remediation team at XXXX. The aim of this work experience was to have a concrete vision of the work of a soil remediation junior engineer. In practice, my work consisted in carrying out various reports including around the issue "The support of a customer with a problem of soil pollution: from pollution assessment to contaminated sites management."
So, during my six-month-long internship, I took part in, among other things, two kinds of assignments: the pollution assessment and contaminated sites management. These two polluted site and soil management French policy tools take place at two distinct moments of a soil pollution problem. It identifies the comprehensive approach to manage a potentially polluted site.
My internship allowed me to gain a set of skills and professional qualities validating my degree in Engineering Management of Industrial Risks:
Having a practical vision of the soil remediation methodology ;
Communicating with team members, suppliers and customers;
Writing didactic reports to the customer ;
Using software such as Map Info or Corel DRAW;
Managing working time in order to meet deadlines.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-08-2011 16:23
titre et forum
Réponse: Rapport de stage de sherry48, postée le 11-08-2011 à 00:44:44 (S | E)
Hello anae,
Nice job! Here are my suggestions.
Our attitude to 1 industrial pollution is evolving:
In France, this studies office 2 has a workforce of five hundred (persons). In 2010, its benefit 2 was fifty millions Euros.
The workforce is distributed in 3 more than 20 offices and 5 fields:
In practice, my work consisted in 1 carrying out 4 various reports including around 2 the issue "
It 7 identifies the comprehensive approach to manage 5 a potentially polluted site.
Managing working time 6 in order to meet deadlines.
1. a different preposition would be better
2. you could choose a better word/phrase
3. distributed throughout is better
4. revise-you carry out duties, but you don't normally carry out reports
5. not the infinitive, consider a gerund or a noun
6. you could say 'time management' here
7. 1 more...to what does the pronoun 'it' refer? policy tools?
That's all. Sherry
Réponse: Rapport de stage de anae, postée le 11-08-2011 à 08:45:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Tout d'abord, merci d'avoir pris la peine de me répondre. Voici la version modifiée de mon texte. En espérant avoir compris toutes vos remarques.
Cordialement,
Anae
Risks generated by soil and water pollution are increasingly being considered. At the same time, economic players are increasingly being blamed for historical or accidental pollution. Our attitude towards industrial pollution is evolving: what used to be tolerated 10 years ago is today no longer acceptable. And what about tomorrow?
XXXXX is an international environmental engineering and consulting group. In France, this studies department has a workforce of five hundred persons. In 2010, its benefit was fifty million Euros. The workforce is distributed throughout more than 20 offices and 5 fields: soil remediation, water, infrastructure, waste and safety.
I did my internship in the soil remediation team at XXXXX. The aim of this work experience was to have a concrete vision of the work of a soil remediation junior engineer. In practice, my work consisted of making various reports centred around the issue "The support of a customer with a problem of soil pollution: from pollution assessment to contaminated sites management."
So, during my six-month-long internship, I took part in, among other things, two kinds of assignments: the pollution assessment and contaminated sites management. These two polluted site and soil management French policy tools take place at two distinct moments of a soil pollution problem. They identify the comprehensive approach managing a potentially polluted site.
My internship allowed me to gain a set of skills and professional qualities validating my degree in Engineering Management of Industrial Risks:
Having a practical vision of the soil remediation methodology ;
Communicating with team members, suppliers and customers;
Writing didactic reports to the customer ;
Using software such as Map Info or Corel DRAW;
Time management in order to meet deadlines.
Réponse: Rapport de stage de sherry48, postée le 11-08-2011 à 13:31:59 (S | E)
Hello anae,
You understood my suggestions very well.
I'm not certain about the sense of the word benefit. Is it profit?
Did you want the British spelling in centred?
I would use a preposition after approach...approach to.
Another possibility in your last phrase is...Time management in meeting deadlines.
Sherry
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Modifié par sherry48 le 11-08-2011 13:32
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