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Correction/Lettre motivation (1)

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Correction/Lettre motivation
Message de nines39 posté le 03-01-2012 à 00:22:30
Bonjour,

je suis étudiante et je souhaite partir en Erasmus l'année prochaine.
Je sollicite votre aide car j'ai besoin d'un oeil expert qui puisse corriger mes fautes de grammaire, syntaxe (point faible en anglais )
Voici ma lettre de motivation vos conseils, et critiques seront les bienvenus =)) Merci pour vos réponses !

Dir Sir or, Dear Madam

Currently a 2nd year student in Information and communication at the xxx University, I’m highly motivated in an academic exchange with your Tallinna Ülikool University , Estonia.
For a long time, I have wanted to spend a while abroad, especially in the east-countries. After short researches my choice emerges (comes up ?) for your university. I choose to study in Estonia because it is a very particular place, between the Germanic and Slavonic cultures, what makes me even more curious about your country. I wanted to discover a new culture and a totally different country from mine. Studying in a different environment is really enriching. I have been to Ukraine this summer to make a linguistic internship in the economic university of Kharkov. This experience has been really helpful improving my Russian language. I am not afraid to go in a new country, i am able to go on my own way.
This exchange will fulfil two of my objective:
- To pass my third year abroad and to improve my language skills, both English, Russian and start to Learn Estonian.
Moreover your university offers the opportunity to have complementary lessons, in link with my studies concerning: XXX
To obtain my third year abroad could be really helpful for the development of my professional future in terms of(concerning?) skills and maturity. My goal for the future is to work in the east-country, spend a semester in Estonia will give me another point of view of the eclectic of those countries.
I’m highly motivated and enthusiastic about being a part of your university.


Please let me know if you need further information.
I look forward to hearing from you. I thank you in advance.

Yours faithfully.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2012 08:18
+ forum



-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-01-2012 18:58


Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de notrepere, postée le 03-01-2012 à 04:35:23
Hello

Dear Sir or Dear Madam:
I am currently a 2nd year student in Information and communication at the xxx University. I’m highly motivated in an academic exchange with your Tallinna Ülikool University in Estonia.
For a long time, I have wanted to spend a while abroad, especially in the east-countries. After short researches my choice emerges (comes up ?) for your university. I choose (present perfect) to study in Estonia because it is a very particular place, between the Germanic and Slavonic cultures, what makes me even more curious about your country. I wanted to discover a new culture and a totally different country from mine. Studying in a different environment is really enriching. I have been to Ukraine this summer to make a linguistic internship in the economic university of Kharkov. This experience has been really helpful improving my Russian language. I am not afraid to go in a new country, I am able to go on my own way.
This exchange will fulfill two of my objectives:
- To pass my third year abroad and to improve my language skills, both English, Russian and start to Learn Estonian.
Moreover your university offers the opportunity to have complementary lessons, in link with my studies concerning: XXX

To obtain my third year abroad could be really helpful for the development of my professional future in terms of(concerning?) skills and maturity. My goal for the future is to work in the east-country, spending a semester in Estonia will give me another point of view of the eclectic of those countries.

I’m highly motivated and enthusiastic about being a part of your university.

Please let me know if you need further information.

I look forward to hearing from you. I thank you in advance.

-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 05-01-2012 05:58




Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de nines39, postée le 03-01-2012 à 10:28:43
Merci beaucoup, j'ai encore du travail.
go on my own way : me débrouiller toute seule
les signes "" c'est que la phrase n'est pas en anglais correct ?

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2012 10:42 oui, cela indique une faute


Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de swan85, postée le 03-01-2012 à 10:42:12

Hello

Don't forget to rectify : Dear sir and not Dir........


Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de nines39, postée le 03-01-2012 à 11:42:32
Yes of course ! thank you !
Do you know how to translate "pays de l'est" ?


Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de swan85, postée le 03-01-2012 à 13:12:41
Eastern Countries or Country.

Pour trouver la traduction d'un mot, vous faites un double clic sur le mot et une fenêtre apparaît donnant l'accès à un dictionnaire.

Bon courage



Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de nines39, postée le 03-01-2012 à 19:21:02
Voici ma version modifiée, qu'en pensez-vous ?

Dear Sir or, Madam


I am currently a 2nd year student in Information and communication at Lyon 2 University; I’m highly motivated in an exchange with your Tallinna Ülikool University, in Estonia. For a long time, I have wanted to study abroad, especially in the Eastern European countries. After some researches I made my choice for your university. I have chosen to study in Estonia because it is a very atypical place, between the Germanic and Slavonic cultures, which makes me even more curious about your country. I wanted to discover a new culture and a totally different country from mine. Studying in a different environment is really enriching. I have been to Ukraine this summer to make a linguistic internship at Kharkov economic university. This experience has been really helpful improving my Russian language. I am not afraid to go to another new country; I am able to go on my own way.

This exchange will fulfill two of my objectives:
Pass my third year abroad and improve my language skills, both English and Russian and then start to Learn Estonian. Moreover your university offers the opportunity to have complementary lessons, in link with my studies:XXX . To obtain my third year abroad will be really helpful for the development of my professional future in terms of skills and maturity. My goal for the future is to work in the Eastern European countries, spending a semester in Estonia will be a huge experience. I’m highly motivated and enthusiastic by the idea of making part of your university.

Please let me know if you need further information.
I look forward to hearing from you. I thank you in advance.

Yours faithfully.


Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de notrepere, postée le 05-01-2012 à 06:09:15
Bonjour

Sauf une ou deux petites corrections, votre texte est tout à fait le même qu'avant. Etes-vous sûre que vous soyez 'highly motivated' ?



Réponse: Correction/Lettre motivation de nines39, postée le 05-01-2012 à 18:45:56
A vrai dire, Je n'ai pas envoyé la lettre que vous voyez, j'ai effectué un certain nombre de changements.
xxxxxxxxx
Merci.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-01-2012 18:54
Donc... les membres qui vous ont répondu ont travaillé pour rien!
no more comment!






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