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Message de lydieev posté le 24-06-2013 à 19:33:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai récemment fini un BTS VPT (ventes et productions touristiques) et l'année prochaine je souhaite partir en Australie pendant 1 an pour me perfectionner et travailler. Pour cela, j'ai réalisé ma lettre de motivation et CV.
Cependant j'ai un doute concernant ma lettre de motivation.
Ma question est donc: pourriez-vous la regarder et ainsi me dire ce qui ne va pas, les phrases qui ne sont pas anglaises, des expressions un peu trop 'bateau' qui ne font pas assez professionnelles... ?
Merci d'avance.
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student Flight was created in 1981 and it is Australia’s largest travel agent in the world. Student Flight is establish in the East. The company worked with an international and dynamic context where open-minded and creativity is dominated. An egalitarian philosophy, strong leadership, systems, processes and your spiritual and physical commitment to empower yourselves personally and professionally makes you unique.
So, I would like to apply for a post of travel consultant in your company.
I have recently graduated from Tourism school in Lille at Gaston Berger. While my 2 years in this school, I do many professional actions and work experience scheme which enable me to learn more about different aspects on Tourism profession. So, while my internship in Thomas Cook in Roubaix, I founded motivation and experience to become an excellent travel consultant. In this travel agency, I could be get in touch with customers, establishing of phone contact, handle sales requests by phone and e-mail.
It’s thanks to it and experience reached that I want to be a travel agent.
Also, I would like to enjoy you about my own experience to grown your company.
Friendly, meticulous, joyful, I highlight my qualities and experience in order to offers possibilities to grown your company. I am highly motivated and look forward to the varied work which a position in you and I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to the opportunity to personally discuss why I am particularly suited to this position.
Yours faithfully.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-06-2013 19:43
Message de lydieev posté le 24-06-2013 à 19:33:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai récemment fini un BTS VPT (ventes et productions touristiques) et l'année prochaine je souhaite partir en Australie pendant 1 an pour me perfectionner et travailler. Pour cela, j'ai réalisé ma lettre de motivation et CV.
Cependant j'ai un doute concernant ma lettre de motivation.
Ma question est donc: pourriez-vous la regarder et ainsi me dire ce qui ne va pas, les phrases qui ne sont pas anglaises, des expressions un peu trop 'bateau' qui ne font pas assez professionnelles... ?
Merci d'avance.
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student Flight was created in 1981 and it is Australia’s largest travel agent in the world. Student Flight is establish in the East. The company worked with an international and dynamic context where open-minded and creativity is dominated. An egalitarian philosophy, strong leadership, systems, processes and your spiritual and physical commitment to empower yourselves personally and professionally makes you unique.
So, I would like to apply for a post of travel consultant in your company.
I have recently graduated from Tourism school in Lille at Gaston Berger. While my 2 years in this school, I do many professional actions and work experience scheme which enable me to learn more about different aspects on Tourism profession. So, while my internship in Thomas Cook in Roubaix, I founded motivation and experience to become an excellent travel consultant. In this travel agency, I could be get in touch with customers, establishing of phone contact, handle sales requests by phone and e-mail.
It’s thanks to it and experience reached that I want to be a travel agent.
Also, I would like to enjoy you about my own experience to grown your company.
Friendly, meticulous, joyful, I highlight my qualities and experience in order to offers possibilities to grown your company. I am highly motivated and look forward to the varied work which a position in you and I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to the opportunity to personally discuss why I am particularly suited to this position.
Yours faithfully.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-06-2013 19:43
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