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Message de gaellewagner posté le 14-01-2016 à 10:29:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai rédigé mon rapport de stage et j'aurais aimé savoir si quelqu'un aurait la gentillesse et la motivation de m'aider à corriger mes fautes.... Je dois le rendre lundi et je suis coincé..
Intro: I’ve almost finish my two-years courses as a management assistant and I had to make a twelve-weeks internship. Six weeks during my first year and the six other weeks the second year.
My first placement was in a wealth management compagny and this year I decided to do my placement at my father’s compagny called « Le Cellier de Puligny » because it is a new fresh compagny and I wanted to get involved and compare the benefits and inconvenients in working with someone from your family and compared it to my first placement. I wanted to see differents aspects of placement and get different experiences.
Introducing the company : « Le Cellier de Puligny » is located in Burgundy and has been created in April 2015.
My training supervisor is alone, he doesn’t have any employee. He just share the premises with another entrepreneur who owns a luxury bed and breakfast.
So, my tutor’s compagny has 3 activities :
-tasting cellar : mainly for private individuals and works council : people can learn how to taste wine, buy wine and sometimes my tutor organise meals like picnic in the vineyard where people can taste wine while eating and learn more about the wine history while walking through the wineyard plots.
-Provision of services : my tutor organize wine tour in partnership with travel agency when people want to know more about wine during their trip in Burgundy. That’s a formula the travel agency combines with the customers’s journey.
He also work with hotels and he is a private sommelier.
-And the last activities is called « La Petite Ecole du Vin » : this is like a formation where my tutor gives lessons about wine like how to produce a wine, how to commercialise it, how to taste it ?
And through time, my internship supervisor want to developp a forth activities : a delicatessen shop where there will be local and luxury products.
As I explain before, my tutor share the premises with another person that he knows for years.
It’s like a partner but he’s often abroad so when he’s gone my father has to take care of this bed and breakfast.
That’s too completely different compagny, they just share the premises and hep eachothers as they’re friend.
Job description : Basically, as a trainee, I had basic tasks like :
- answer the phone : make appointment, informing customers, call wineyard to renew our stock of wine.
-Welcoming customers : what are they looking for ? If they want to taste wine, buy wine, learn how to taste or do a wine tour.
-I also have to deal with incoming and outgoing mail.
-I have to make invoice for customers and sort out invoice of suppliers (wineyard)
-I have to remind customers who bought wine that they have to pay, but it is not very often. That’s not often but sometimes it takes month for customers to pay.
But I also had to get involved in the compagny :
As it is a young compagny, I had to help in the developpement of this compagny like developping customers, create a website, promote this compagny.
I help my tutor creating tasting menus and the prices.
I help him to find new ideas for « Le Cellier de Puligny »
My tutor wanted to change the decor of the tasting cellar so I gave me ideas and he listenned to me.
And in february, my tutor had a professionnal travel in New-York. He asked me to join him so I went to New-York for five days. This trip had for goal to promote french winegrowers overseas. I took part of conferences and wine tasting in a place called Club 21. I didn’t have tasks to do when I was there execpt takes note but I see another aspect of the business circle, I saw many entrepreneur, negociation.
I was completely empressed
And during my six week internship, the owner of the bed and breakfast owner went to England for a week so I had to take care of the room, prepare the breakfast and take care fo the customers.
Communication : At the begining of my internship I was very confident because I thought it was very easy to work with family but I was wrong. It is stressful because the relationship is less professionnal, if I do something bad the relation could become tend and my tutor expected a lot from me. As I am his daughter, I was supposed to know everything about my father’s compagny so I had to take many initiative whereas I didn’t know anything about his compagny. That is to say I didn’t begin with simple tasks, my tutor gave me directly important tasks like doing invoices, debt collecting, welcoming foreign customers, etc. but after days we found a way to work together and I learnt many things.
Je n'ai pas la place pour mettre la suite de mon rapport...
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2016 22:01
Message de gaellewagner posté le 14-01-2016 à 10:29:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai rédigé mon rapport de stage et j'aurais aimé savoir si quelqu'un aurait la gentillesse et la motivation de m'aider à corriger mes fautes.... Je dois le rendre lundi et je suis coincé..
Intro: I’ve almost finish my two-years courses as a management assistant and I had to make a twelve-weeks internship. Six weeks during my first year and the six other weeks the second year.
My first placement was in a wealth management compagny and this year I decided to do my placement at my father’s compagny called « Le Cellier de Puligny » because it is a new fresh compagny and I wanted to get involved and compare the benefits and inconvenients in working with someone from your family and compared it to my first placement. I wanted to see differents aspects of placement and get different experiences.
Introducing the company : « Le Cellier de Puligny » is located in Burgundy and has been created in April 2015.
My training supervisor is alone, he doesn’t have any employee. He just share the premises with another entrepreneur who owns a luxury bed and breakfast.
So, my tutor’s compagny has 3 activities :
-tasting cellar : mainly for private individuals and works council : people can learn how to taste wine, buy wine and sometimes my tutor organise meals like picnic in the vineyard where people can taste wine while eating and learn more about the wine history while walking through the wineyard plots.
-Provision of services : my tutor organize wine tour in partnership with travel agency when people want to know more about wine during their trip in Burgundy. That’s a formula the travel agency combines with the customers’s journey.
He also work with hotels and he is a private sommelier.
-And the last activities is called « La Petite Ecole du Vin » : this is like a formation where my tutor gives lessons about wine like how to produce a wine, how to commercialise it, how to taste it ?
And through time, my internship supervisor want to developp a forth activities : a delicatessen shop where there will be local and luxury products.
As I explain before, my tutor share the premises with another person that he knows for years.
It’s like a partner but he’s often abroad so when he’s gone my father has to take care of this bed and breakfast.
That’s too completely different compagny, they just share the premises and hep eachothers as they’re friend.
Job description : Basically, as a trainee, I had basic tasks like :
- answer the phone : make appointment, informing customers, call wineyard to renew our stock of wine.
-Welcoming customers : what are they looking for ? If they want to taste wine, buy wine, learn how to taste or do a wine tour.
-I also have to deal with incoming and outgoing mail.
-I have to make invoice for customers and sort out invoice of suppliers (wineyard)
-I have to remind customers who bought wine that they have to pay, but it is not very often. That’s not often but sometimes it takes month for customers to pay.
But I also had to get involved in the compagny :
As it is a young compagny, I had to help in the developpement of this compagny like developping customers, create a website, promote this compagny.
I help my tutor creating tasting menus and the prices.
I help him to find new ideas for « Le Cellier de Puligny »
My tutor wanted to change the decor of the tasting cellar so I gave me ideas and he listenned to me.
And in february, my tutor had a professionnal travel in New-York. He asked me to join him so I went to New-York for five days. This trip had for goal to promote french winegrowers overseas. I took part of conferences and wine tasting in a place called Club 21. I didn’t have tasks to do when I was there execpt takes note but I see another aspect of the business circle, I saw many entrepreneur, negociation.
I was completely empressed
And during my six week internship, the owner of the bed and breakfast owner went to England for a week so I had to take care of the room, prepare the breakfast and take care fo the customers.
Communication : At the begining of my internship I was very confident because I thought it was very easy to work with family but I was wrong. It is stressful because the relationship is less professionnal, if I do something bad the relation could become tend and my tutor expected a lot from me. As I am his daughter, I was supposed to know everything about my father’s compagny so I had to take many initiative whereas I didn’t know anything about his compagny. That is to say I didn’t begin with simple tasks, my tutor gave me directly important tasks like doing invoices, debt collecting, welcoming foreign customers, etc. but after days we found a way to work together and I learnt many things.
Je n'ai pas la place pour mettre la suite de mon rapport...
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2016 22:01
Réponse: Correction/Rapport de stage de gerondif, postée le 14-01-2016 à 10:43:12 (S | E)
Bonjour,
pour mettre le texte en une seule fois, envoyez juste une ligne, bonjour, puis re ouvrez avec le E e copiez collez votre texte.
C'est vrai qu'il est long et qu'il y a de quoi corriger! En plus une remise à jour a éteint mon ordinateur et effacé mes corrections à 5 lignes de la fin! (Le pire, c'est qu'après avoir tout refait, j'ai vu que le "modify" était deux fois en barre de tâches, donc que je l'avais refait pour rien! C'est pas mon jour !!)
Vous êtes apparemment fâchée avec les s de pluriel et les s de présent simple troisième personne.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Intro: I’ve almost finish(participe passé) my two-years courses as a management assistant and I had to make a twelve-weeks internship. Six weeks during my first year and the six other weeks the second year.
My first placement was in a wealth management company and this year I decided to do my placement at my father’s compagny called « Le Cellier de Puligny » because it is a new fresh compagny and I wanted to get involved and compare the benefits and inconvenients in working with someone from your family and compared it to my first placement. I wanted to see differents aspects of placement and get different experiences.
Introducing the company : « Le Cellier de Puligny » is located in Burgundy and has been(prétérit car daté) created in April 2015.
My training supervisor works alone, he doesn’t have any employee. He just shares the premises with another entrepreneur who owns a luxury bed and breakfast.
So, my tutor’s compagny has 3 activities :
-tasting cellar : mainly for private individuals and "works councils(ne se dit guère)" : people can learn how to taste wine, buy wine and sometimes my tutor organises meals,
-Provision of(j'aurais dit providing) services : my tutor organizes wine tours in partnership with travel agencies when people want to know more about wine during their trip in Burgundy. That’s a formula the travel agency combines with the customers’s journey.
He also works with hotels and he is a private sommelier.
-And the last activity is called « La Petite Ecole du Vin » : this is like a formation where my tutor gives lessons about wine like how to produce a wine, how to commercialise it, how to taste it .(Vous êtes une fana du "comme")
And through time, my internship supervisor wants (would like irait mieux) to developp a fourth activity : a delicatessen shop where there will be local and luxury products.
As I explained before, my tutor shares the premises with another person that he knows(present perfect avec depuis) for years.
He’s like a partner but he’s often abroad so when he’s gone my father has to take care of his bed and breakfast.
That’s(pluriel) too completely different compagnies, they just share the premises and help each other as they’re friends.
Job description : Basically, as a trainee, I had basic tasks like :
- answering(gérondif*) the phone : make* appointment, informing customers, call* wineyard to renew our stock of wine.
-Welcoming customers : what are they looking for ? If they want to taste wine, buy* wine,
-I also had to deal with incoming and outgoing mail.
-I had to make invoice for customers and sort out invoices of suppliers (wineyard)
-I had to remind customers who bought wine that they have to pay, but it is not very often. That’s not often but sometimes it takes months for customers to pay.
But I also had to get involved in the compagny :
As it is a young compagny, I had to help in the developpement of this compagny like developping customers (vous faites grandir les clients??), create* a website, promote* this compagny.
I helped my tutor creating(base verbale) tasting menus and the prices.(je l'aide a créer les prix ne veut rien dire)
I helped him to find new ideas for « Le Cellier de Puligny »
My tutor wanted to change the decor of the tasting cellar so I gave me ideas and he listenned to me.
And in february, my tutor had a professionnal travel in(ne se dit guère) New-York. He asked me to join him so I went to New-York for five days. This trip had for goal to promote french winegrowers overseas. I took part of in conferences and wine tasting in a place called Club 21. I didn’t have tasks to do when I was there execpt takes* notes but I see another aspect of the business circle, I saw many entrepreneurs, negociation.
I was completely empressed
And during my six week internship, the
Communication : At the beginning of my internship I was very confident because I thought it was very easy to work with family but I was wrong. It is stressful because the relationship is less professionnal, if I do something bad the relation could become tend and my tutor expected a lot from me. As I am his daughter, I was supposed to know everything about my father’s compagny so I had to take many initiatives whereas(signifie alors que au sens mais au contraire: I luke westerns whereas my wife likes romances, il vous faut although, alors que au sens de bien que) I didn’t know anything about his compagny. That is to say I didn’t begin with simple tasks, my tutor gave me directly important tasks like doing invoices, debt collecting, welcoming foreign customers, etc. but after days we found a way to work together and I learnt many things.
"When I didn't understand something or when I couldn't do a task, he explained to me as many times as I need(prétérit) to be sure I completely understand(prétérit = *)) what I have(prétérit) to do and do(prétérit) it correctly without any help the next times.
During the first days of my placement, I was afraid of aswering the phone because I am(*) not confident when I don't(*) know much about the compagny meaning that I am(*) not confident when I have(*) to talk about wine but gradually my tutor explains(*) the basics to me and I learn(*) a lot of things about wine in generally. After that, I was able to take care of the customers by myself.
During my placement I worked with my tutor, sometimes I had to go to see some vineyards to take our order of wine to renew our stocks or take care of the customers when my training supervisor had an appointment.
I had to deal with many english-speaking (majuscule) customers coming from Australia, England or the United Stade(ben non, ce n'est pas du foot
) and moreover, it was very difficult at the beginning because I was too shy to speak in english and I wasn't sure to understand everything and above all I didn't have the specific vocabulary concerning wine but with However (bizarre, ce pourtant), this placement was a very good experience because I learnt many things about a branch I didn't know. It was very enriching because I get(*) new professionnal skills and I increased my self-confident(il faut le nom, pas l'adjectif) because my tutor gave me a lot of responsabilities.
And the things(votre verbe est au singulier) I loved the most about my placement is that I help(*) in the development of a new company. It was like it was(as if it were, subjonctif) my company because my tutor listened to me, he took into account every ideas(every + singulier) I was given(* voie active) to him.
I am very happy of with my internship because I had many different tasks, each day was different. There wasn't a day when I got bored. It wasn't a placement where I had to stay behind a desk all day long and that's what I liked.
About the future : After passing my exam (on est bien d'accord que to take an exam, c'est s'y présenter et to pass an exam, c'est comme au saut en hauteur, c'est le réussir), I don't know what I would like to do. I think I will going to Lyon or Paris and do (mais changez de verbe) a business school because the international dimension attracks me a lot.
I don't want to enter the labor market for the moment, I feel not( forme négative incorrecte) ready and I want to go further in my studies and I want to travel more. "
Réponse: Correction/Rapport de stage de gerondif, postée le 18-01-2016 à 20:49:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
j'ai mis votre deuxième partie à la fin de la première ci-dessus.
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