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Correction/My dream room
Message from febbriyanaa posted on 24-07-2011 at 15:58:44 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone
please.... help me to correct my homework, I think I have many wrong words and tenses, so please help me
MY DREAM ROOM
My dream room must be have a great view of the ocean and the beach, so my room should have a lot of windows, so that I can see the beautiful scenery.it should be not really big, but make me relax and safe. my room will painted with pink and white. I think it would have a modern style decor there are home theater with the connection to the internet, so i can download my favorite film easily and very fast. there are also advanced air conditioner to manage a temperature with automated system, and one medium aquarium beside my home theater. not to forget, my dream room must be have a small bed to my lovely cat. I will put my bed near from the window so i can feel the atmosphere of the ocean and the beach. My bed should be not very big, just medium size and make me relax. I like to browsing the internet to know some information and to connect with my family and my friends so my dream room must be have a computer or laptop with connection to the internet . I will put my computer or laptop in the desk beside my bed. In the walls i will put my best painting, my poetry, all thing about my best art. I will also put my family's photo and my best friend's photo in the walls. My dream room must be have a modern bathroom with medium size.There are modern bathtub, shower, and the others. I thing that's all about my dream room, very simple but I will feel very happy to enjoy my dream room.
Thanks for your help and your time.
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Edited by lucile83 on 24-07-2011 16:18
Message from febbriyanaa posted on 24-07-2011 at 15:58:44 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone
please.... help me to correct my homework, I think I have many wrong words and tenses, so please help me
MY DREAM ROOM
My dream room must be have a great view of the ocean and the beach, so my room should have a lot of windows, so that I can see the beautiful scenery.it should be not really big, but make me relax and safe. my room will painted with pink and white. I think it would have a modern style decor there are home theater with the connection to the internet, so i can download my favorite film easily and very fast. there are also advanced air conditioner to manage a temperature with automated system, and one medium aquarium beside my home theater. not to forget, my dream room must be have a small bed to my lovely cat. I will put my bed near from the window so i can feel the atmosphere of the ocean and the beach. My bed should be not very big, just medium size and make me relax. I like to browsing the internet to know some information and to connect with my family and my friends so my dream room must be have a computer or laptop with connection to the internet . I will put my computer or laptop in the desk beside my bed. In the walls i will put my best painting, my poetry, all thing about my best art. I will also put my family's photo and my best friend's photo in the walls. My dream room must be have a modern bathroom with medium size.There are modern bathtub, shower, and the others. I thing that's all about my dream room, very simple but I will feel very happy to enjoy my dream room.
Thanks for your help and your time.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 24-07-2011 16:18
Re: Correction/My dream room from sherry48, posted on 24-07-2011 at 19:47:32 (D | E)
Hello febbriyanaa,
Yes, you have mistakes, especially with verbs and prepositions.
1. "must be have" is never used
2. "Thing" is either a spelling mistake or confusion between two similar words.
3. The preposition in--If you can't substitute 'inside', that may indicate that you have used the wrong preposition...(inside the walls is not what you meant).
Fix these errors and I will address some other mistakes.
Sherry
Re: Correction/My dream room from notrepere, posted on 24-07-2011 at 20:21:29 (D | E)
HelloSi vous préférez une correction en français...
My dream room must be (1) have a great view of the ocean and the beach, (2) So my room should have a lot of windows, so that I can see the beautiful scenery. It should be not (3) really big, but make me relax and safe (4). My room will painted with (1) pink and white. I think it would have a modern style decor(2) There are (5) (6) home theater with the (7) connection to the internet, so I can download my favorite (8) film (9) easily and very fast.
(1) mot superflu; on dit "must have"
(2) mauvaise ponctuation ou ponctuation manquante; il faut un point
(3) ordre des mots; le « not » est placé toujours avant le verbe
(4) en forme d'un adjectif: make me feel relaxed and safe
(5) singulier
(6) article manquant
(7) mauvais article; il faut un article indéfini
(8) favourite
favorite (9) au pluriel me semble mieux
Il faut appliquer les mêmes corrections au reste du texte.
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Edited by notrepere on 24-07-2011 20:21
Re: Correction/My dream room from smartway, posted on 26-07-2011 at 13:40:26 (D | E)
hello;
you have mistakes about prepositions.
for example:
we say :i put the book on the desk not in the desk .
you have also mistakes about plurals nouns:for regulars nouns we add s .
Re: Correction/My dream room from taif, posted on 27-07-2011 at 16:45:54 (D | E)
I am new, and I don't know any thing, but now I have benefited too much.
thank you
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