Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine Writing/correction
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Message from yaraelha posted on 27-12-2012 at 22:50:36 (D | E | F)
Hello every body,
I hope you're all fine.Actually that is my first post ,I need somebody to help me correcting my writing.
Thanks in advance to help me
So here is the text.It is about smoking;
More than 80 years ago,It was widely assumed that only rich people can smoke,a cigarette was considered as a symbol of bourgeoisie,but is that really the truth? Shall we feel proud when we smoke ?;maybe the image that had been take about smoking is erroneous!
Let's talk first about the causes of this abnormal phenomenon ,that with a high performance succeeded in making people consider it ordinary,More than this:necessary.Generally speaking ,the first cause is the one we cited above about imitating rich people ,Moreover there are many causes concerning society like divore or violence problemes,Also poor personalities:the repressed persons either in school or at home, think that smoking may help them proving themeselves ,or for boys who try to impress girls and show their manhood.
For effects,and precisely diseases ,there is a verey long list of healt troubles caused by smoking :Diabets,Bronchitis,Blindness,Lung cancer etc.we have as a result of smoking social problems that we considered at the same time one from the important cause of this issue,Besides,we must mention psychological disorders that come after all this.
So;I hope that my words could wake you up smokers,Guys!you are the elite of society and the future of the country ,don't waste your energy by lighting cigarettes ,because,if you don't know :the energy you have can enlighten a whole country for weeks
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Edited by lucile83 on 28-12-2012 07:40
Message from yaraelha posted on 27-12-2012 at 22:50:36 (D | E | F)
Hello every body,
I hope you're all fine.Actually that is my first post ,I need somebody to help me correcting my writing.
Thanks in advance to help me
So here is the text.It is about smoking;
More than 80 years ago,It was widely assumed that only rich people can smoke,a cigarette was considered as a symbol of bourgeoisie,but is that really the truth? Shall we feel proud when we smoke ?;maybe the image that had been take about smoking is erroneous!
Let's talk first about the causes of this abnormal phenomenon ,that with a high performance succeeded in making people consider it ordinary,More than this:necessary.Generally speaking ,the first cause is the one we cited above about imitating rich people ,Moreover there are many causes concerning society like divore or violence problemes,Also poor personalities:the repressed persons either in school or at home, think that smoking may help them proving themeselves ,or for boys who try to impress girls and show their manhood.
For effects,and precisely diseases ,there is a verey long list of healt troubles caused by smoking :Diabets,Bronchitis,Blindness,Lung cancer etc.we have as a result of smoking social problems that we considered at the same time one from the important cause of this issue,Besides,we must mention psychological disorders that come after all this.
So;I hope that my words could wake you up smokers,Guys!you are the elite of society and the future of the country ,don't waste your energy by lighting cigarettes ,because,if you don't know :the energy you have can enlighten a whole country for weeks
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 28-12-2012 07:40
Re: Writing/correction from bernard02, posted on 28-12-2012 at 01:44:40 (D | E)
Hello,
could you already correct these mistakes?
Regards.
More than 80 years ago,It was widely assumed that only rich people can smoke,a cigarette was considered as a symbol of bourgeoisie,but is that really the truth? Shall we feel proud when we smoke ?;maybe the image that had been take about smoking is erroneous!
Let's talk first about the causes of this abnormal phenomenon ,that with a high performance succeeded in making people consider it ordinary,More than this:necessary.Generally speaking ,the first cause is the one we cited above about imitating rich people ,Moreover there are many causes concerning society like divore or violence problemes,Also poor personalities:the repressed persons either in school or at home, think that smoking may help them proving themeselves,or for boys who try to impress girls and show their manhood.
For effects,and precisely diseases ,there is a verey long list of healt troubles caused by smoking :Diabets,Bronchitis,Blindness,Lung cancer etc.we have as a result of smoking social problems that we considered at the same time one from the important cause of this issue,Besides,we must mention psychological disorders that come after all this.
So;I hope that my words could wake you up smokers,Guys!you are the elite of society and the future of the country ,don't waste your energy by lighting cigarettes ,because,if you don't know :the energy you have can enlighten a whole country for weeks.
-------------------
Edited by bernard02 on 28-12-2012 01:44
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