Cours d'anglais gratuitsRecevoir 1 leçon gratuite chaque semaine // Créer un test
Connectez-vous !

Cliquez ici pour vous connecter
Nouveau compte
Des millions de comptes créés.

100% gratuit !
[Avantages]


Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine une leçon d'anglais !



- Accueil
- Aide/Contact
- Accès rapides
- Lire cet extrait
- Livre d'or
- Nouveautés
- Plan du site
- Presse
- Recommander
- Signaler un bug
- Traduire cet extrait
- Webmasters
- Lien sur votre site



> Nos sites :
-Jeux gratuits
-Nos autres sites
   


<< Retour au forum || Aller tout en bas

Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

CLIQUEZ ICI POUR REPONDRE A CE SUJET


Correction Nicholas Gage
Message de ajanim16 posté le 26-01-2007 à 19:25:01 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour à tous,
Je m'entraîne à résumer des textes pour m'entraîner. J'aimerais avoir votre avis et vos corrections vis-à-vis des synthaxes et éventuellement du vocabulaire.
J'espère que ce texte n'est pas trop incompréhensible..

God bless America
This text had been writing by Nicholas Gage and published in 1983. The issue at stake here is a document whom whishes to focus attention upon differences between the European and American way of life.

It is worth first of all turning one’s attention to difficults conditions of the father’s narrator who has immigrated to America. He found treacherous his situation because America had been promised him works but especially in rewarde lot of gold, lot of dollars. He was not up to keeping and shielding his children. That’s why, he had abandon his four daughters.
Despite promises, the narrator and his brothers can’t to join him in Massachusetts during Holday. They would find in unpleasant situation.

A much-discussed problem is the immigration into United States of America. Gage’s family is an exemple. At the root from Greece, they had leave Europe to escape far away the Greek Civil, which has already died their mother. American’s Life isn’t as they could imagine it. In spite of that, father seems be integrated. It’s the acculturation’s phenomenon. Thus, narrator hopes to seem us that American’s life and all hopes bind at its are only an ideal.

Merci!
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 26-01-2007 19:36
Titre


Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de jean31, postée le 26-01-2007 à 19:59:29 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Vu les monstruosités que j'ai pu lire dans ces quelques lignes et afin de ménager ton amour-propre, je vais t'envoyer mes remarques par mp dès que j'aurai pris mon repas du soir et recouvré quelques forces.
A tout à l'heure
.


Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de ajanim16, postée le 28-01-2007 à 18:45:39 (S | E)
J'ai tenté une correction grâce à jean 31 (voir message qui suit)


Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de jean31, postée le 28-01-2007 à 19:24:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Mes réponses t'attendent depuis hier soir, bien sagement, dans la boîte aux lettres de ta messagerie privée.
Bonne lecture et bonne correction.



Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de ajanim16, postée le 28-01-2007 à 20:49:03 (S | E)
This text had been writing by Nicholas Gage and published in 1983. The issue at stake here is a document whom whishes to focus attention upon differences between the European and American way of life.

It is worth first of all turning one’s attention to difficults conditions of the father’s narrator who has immigrated to America. He found treacherous his situation because America had been promised him works but especially in rewarde lot of gold, lot of dollars. He was not up to keeping and shielding his children. That’s why, he has abandonned his four daughters.
Despite promises, the narrator and his brothers could not to join him in Massachusetts during Holday. They would find in unpleasant situation.

A much-discussed problem is the immigration into United States of America. Gage’s family is an exemple. At the root from Greece, they had left Europe to escape far away from the civil war which had already killed their mother. The American way of life wasn't like the one they had imagined. In spite of that, their father seems be integrated. It is the acculturation's phenomenon. Thus, narrator hopes us to seem us that American's life and all hopes bind.



Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de jean31, postée le 28-01-2007 à 21:26:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Je ne comprends pas pourquoi tu as simplement recopié ton premier texte sans en changer un iota.
N'as-tu pas compris mes remarques et corrections données dans la messagerie ?
Ou bien as-tu fait une fausse manoeuvre ?



Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de jean31, postée le 28-01-2007 à 21:58:50 (S | E)
Désolé pour toi, mais revoici mes remarques.

=> This text had been writing by <= tournure passive = was + participe passé
=> a document whom whishes <= antécédent chose = which + wishes
=> to the difficults conditions <= depuis quand les adjectifs prennent-ils la marque du pluriel ?
=> who has immigrated to America <= action terminée, datée = preterit
=> He found treacherous his situation <= ordres des mots incorrect; le COD suit directement le verbe
=> because America had been promised him works <= là tu emploies une tournure passive alors qu'il faut un past perfect actif. Supprime l'auxiliaire parasite. works est impropre, remplace-le par job = emploi.
=> in rewarde lot of gold, lot of dollars <= as a reward + soit a lot of soit lots of
=> He was not up to keeping and shielding his children. <= protecting/caring for me paraîssent mieux convenir que shielding
=> he had abandon his four daughters. <= le past perfect est formé de had + participe passé du verbe. Rectifie.
=> and his brothers can’t to join him <= la belle horreur que voici ! Un modal, quel qu'il soit, est TOUJOURS suivi d'une base verbale. Rectifie.
=> during Holday <= omission de l'article défini + faute de frappe sur holiday, sans majuscule
=> They would find in unpleasant situation. <= pourquoi ce conditionnel tout à coup ? Se trouver = verbe pronominal = to find oneself <= mettre la bonne personne ie 3e du pluriel puisque le sujet est They. + an unpleasant situation.
=> A much-discussed problem is the immigration into United States of America. Quelle immigration ? = pas de the mais par contre => the United States...
=> an exAmple <= à mémoriser
=> At the root from Greece, they had leave Europe to escape far away the Greek Civil, which has already died their mother. pffffffffffff !
* Cette phrase est complètement décousue, pour ne pas dire farfelue et je mettrais trop de temps à te dire le pourquoi du comment. Donc...
* They had left Greece to escape far away from the civil war which had already killed their mother.
=> American’s Life isn’t as they could imagine it. => The American way of life wasn't like the one they had imagined.
=> In spite of that, the/their father seems to be integrated.
=> It’s the acculturation’s phenomenon. <= ????? = BARBARISME + NONSENS ! Qu'as-tu voulu dire ?
=> Thus, narrator hopes to seem us that American’s life and all hopes bind. <= C'est également incompréhensible.


Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de ajanim16, postée le 29-01-2007 à 17:00:10 (S | E)
Bonjour Jean31!

Je n'avais pas reçu tout cela par message privé mais seulement une partie! donc désolé pour toutes ces erreurs et merci pour toute ton attention!
Voici ce que j'ai pu corriger:

"This text was writed by Nicholas Gage and published in 1983. The issue at stake here is a document which whishes to focus attention upon differences between the European and American way of life.

It is worth first of all turning one’s attention to difficult conditions of the father’s narrator who immigrated to America. He found his situation treacherous because America had promised him jobs but especially in rewarde lots of gold, lots of dollars. He was not up to keeping and protecting his children. That’s why, he had abandonned his four daughters.
Despite promises, the narrator and his brothers can join him in Massachusetts during the holiday. They find themselves an unpleasant situation.

A much-discussed problem is immigration into the United States of America. Gage’s family is an example. At the root from Greece, they had left Europe to escape far away from the civil war which had already killed their mother. The American way of life wasn't like the one they had imagined. In spite of that, their father seems be integrated. It is the acculturation's phenomenon. Thus, narrator hopes us to seem us that American's life stays an ideal."



Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de jean31, postée le 29-01-2007 à 20:04:06 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Désolé pour le bug de la messagerie.

"This text was writTEN <=(verbe irrégulier à connaître !) by Nicholas Gage and published in 1983. The issue at stake here is a document which WISHES to focus attention upon differences between the European and American wayS of life.

It is worth first of all turning one’s attention to THE difficult conditions of the NARRATOR'S FATHER<=(je suppose...Attention à l'ordre des mots avec le cas possessif) who immigrated to America. He found his situation treacherous because America had promised him A job<=(un emploi, pas plusieurs) but especially in reward lots of gold, lots of dollars. He was not up to keeping and protecting his children. That’s why he had abandoNed his four daughters.
Despite promises, the narrator and his brothers can join him in Massachusetts during the holiday. They find themselves IN an unpleasant situation.

A much-discussed problem is immigration into the United States of America. Gage’s family is an example. At the root from Greece, they had left Europe to escape far away from the civil war which had already killed their mother. The American way of life wasn't like the one they had imagined. In spite of that, their father seems TO be CULTURALLY integrated.Thus, THE narrator hopes TO MAKE US BELIEVE that THE American WAY OF life IS STILL an ideal."

* C'est beaucoup mieux ainsi.
Un bémol toutefois, le mélange des temps passé/présent n'est pas très heureux.
Pour tenter de rendre"acculturation", et faute de savoir mieux, j'ai ajouté l'adverbe culturally devant integrated, "ça devrait le faire" !

Good luck.


Réponse: Correction Nicholas Gage de ajanim16, postée le 30-01-2007 à 18:56:59 (S | E)
Merci! C'est beaucoup + que j'en attendais! Je vais essayer de travailler tout cela et produire de nouveaux textes en évitant les trop nombreuses erreurs que j'ai pu omettre dans celui-ci..

Bonne soirée et à très bientôt !




CLIQUEZ ICI POUR REPONDRE A CE SUJET


 


> INDISPENSABLES : TESTEZ VOTRE NIVEAU | GUIDE DE TRAVAIL | NOS MEILLEURES FICHES | Les fiches les plus populaires | Une leçon par email par semaine | Exercices | Aide/Contact

> INSEREZ UN PEU D'ANGLAIS DANS VOTRE VIE QUOTIDIENNE ! Rejoignez-nous gratuitement sur les réseaux :
Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | RSS | Linkedin | Email

> NOS AUTRES SITES GRATUITS : Cours de français | Cours de mathématiques | Cours d'espagnol | Cours d'italien | Cours d'allemand | Cours de néerlandais | Tests de culture générale | Cours de japonais | Rapidité au clavier | Cours de latin | Cours de provençal | Moteur de recherche sites éducatifs | Outils utiles | Bac d'anglais | Our sites in English

> INFORMATIONS : Copyright - En savoir plus, Aide, Contactez-nous [Conditions d'utilisation] [Conseils de sécurité] Reproductions et traductions interdites sur tout support (voir conditions) | Contenu des sites déposé chaque semaine chez un huissier de justice | Mentions légales / Vie privée | Cookies.
| Cours, leçons et exercices d'anglais 100% gratuits, hors abonnement internet auprès d'un fournisseur d'accès. | Livre d'or | Partager sur les réseaux |