Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.
Help me with my text please
Message de lullaby posté le 19-02-2007 à 21:35:32 (S | E | F | I)
Hello everybody
Could you mark my mistakes in the text (British English please), and tell me what you think about it?
Thank you
I'm sure there are many mistakes, I'm ashamed...
Tolerance & Conformism
It’s the similitaries between two persons which constitute their identity (that may be their trade, culture, nationality, or political ideology…)
Thus, the individual will be able to have the feeling of membership of a social class if he subscribes himself to some criteria, and he will be able to be integrated into society.
However, everyone has a fully paid-up personality; tastes, dreams, ambitions, wishes or even acquired characteristics which would be a pity to disregard.
The distinctive characteristics must be able to express itself, if we don’t want to reduce the richness of humankind to a single model.
Because contrary to an animal, a mankind is unique and irreplaceable.
I think the difference is legitimate.
Moreover, diversity is creative and symbolizes evolution: the more ideas there are, the more society is advanced.
So, people must have the choice to behave as they want as long as they upset nobody.
Then, tolerance is necessary for live in society, and it’s important to accept others choices and ideas because that permit to get rich each other…
However it’s advisable to moderate this call to tolerance ; we can be mindful of extreme ideologies: because tolerating is not allowing unacceptable things… such anti-Semitism or homophobia…
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Modifié par whynot95 le 20-02-2007 06:15
+ titre
Message de lullaby posté le 19-02-2007 à 21:35:32 (S | E | F | I)
Hello everybody
Could you mark my mistakes in the text (British English please), and tell me what you think about it?
Thank you
I'm sure there are many mistakes, I'm ashamed...
Tolerance & Conformism
It’s the similitaries between two persons which constitute their identity (that may be their trade, culture, nationality, or political ideology…)
Thus, the individual will be able to have the feeling of membership of a social class if he subscribes himself to some criteria, and he will be able to be integrated into society.
However, everyone has a fully paid-up personality; tastes, dreams, ambitions, wishes or even acquired characteristics which would be a pity to disregard.
The distinctive characteristics must be able to express itself, if we don’t want to reduce the richness of humankind to a single model.
Because contrary to an animal, a mankind is unique and irreplaceable.
I think the difference is legitimate.
Moreover, diversity is creative and symbolizes evolution: the more ideas there are, the more society is advanced.
So, people must have the choice to behave as they want as long as they upset nobody.
Then, tolerance is necessary for live in society, and it’s important to accept others choices and ideas because that permit to get rich each other…
However it’s advisable to moderate this call to tolerance ; we can be mindful of extreme ideologies: because tolerating is not allowing unacceptable things… such anti-Semitism or homophobia…
-------------------
Modifié par whynot95 le 20-02-2007 06:15
+ titre
Réponse: Help me with my text please de magstmarc, postée le 19-02-2007 à 21:54:11 (S | E)
Il n'y a pas tant de fautes que ça !
Je te mets en rouge ce qui me saute aux yeux, à toi de vérifier et de corriger, puis, remets la version corrigée sur ce topic.
Tolerance & Conformism
It’s the similitaries between two persons which constitute their identity (that may be their trade, culture, nationality, or political ideology…)
Thus, the individual will be able to have the feeling of membership of a social class if he subscribes himself to some criteria, and he will be able to be integrated into society.
However, everyone has a fully paid-up personality; tastes, dreams, ambitions, wishes or even acquired characteristics which would be a pity to disregard.
The distinctive characteristics must be able to express itself, if we don’t want to reduce the richness of humankind to a single model.
Because contrary to an animal, a mankind is unique and irreplaceable.
I think the difference is legitimate.
Moreover, diversity is creative and symbolizes evolution: the more ideas there are, the more society is advanced.
So, people must have the choice to behave as they want as long as they upset nobody.
Then, tolerance is necessary for live in society, and it’s important to accept others choices and ideas because that permit to get rich each other…
However it’s advisable to moderate this call to tolerance ; we can be mindful of extreme ideologies: because tolerating is not allowing unacceptable things… such (il manque un mot) anti-Semitism or homophobia…
Il y a des tournures de phrases un peu "lourdes", qui font un peu "traduction mot à mot", je pense que tu peux faire plus simple et plus court (pour la prochaine rédaction).
J'ai mis le "can" en rouge, mais ce n'est pas une faute de grammaire ou d'orthographe, je pense juste que ce n'est pas le mot le plus approprié ici...
Bon courage
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Modifié par magstmarc le 20-02-2007 11:24
Il me semble que "l'humanité" c'est mankind ou human kind (en 2 mots) ou humanity tout simplement
Pour un homme : "a man" est suffisant (ou: a human being)