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Message de nathdiscaz posté le 2004-04-20 10:21:51 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Je suis en BTS et je vais passé un oral dans la semaine.
durant cet oral je vais étudier un texte inconu puis parler du stage que j'ai effectué. J'ai préparé ce que j'allais dire : Si vous pouviez me dire si l'anglais et correct et corriger les différentes fautes merci beaucoup

My training course was carried out during the period of January 5 at February 27 2004 within the data-processing service company: YYY.

YYY is a Service company of Engineering Data-processing (SSII) YYY is in the first ten companies of service in Europe.

Group YYY is composed of 10 divisions and 9 subsidiary companies, and represents an average manpower into 2002 of 8400 employees.
I was in Merignac in the YYY ‘s branch. They are 700 employs in Merignac

have to carry out this training course with another training course "Vincent" we are study the project together

The company carries out projects of development for many customers at whom her place missions its collaborators.

Company YYY used already a control program of the absences of the collaborators and wanted to integrate a tool allowing into it to manage the missions of collaborators.

"Management of the absences" a management tool of the absences of the collaborators: vacation, RTT, formation, disease, delegation, inter contract...

YYY entrusted the development of this named application to me: "council & expertise". The application "council and expertise" must be integrated in the application "management of the absences" which state already developed

We started by studying the project, and the requests which we owe satisfies. Then, we distributed the spot between us and to begin the development

We are develop The program with language PHP and the base of data MYSQL

With the end of the training course, a presentation of my work was organised near my Master of training course Mr XXXX who validated the software.

This training course brought to me much. I was integrated into a very enthusiastic team. I could put knowledge into practice learned during the year. I also could see the operation of a great group and adapt me to it. I hope soon to renew an experiment like this one.


Réponse: re : the first 6th paragraphs de chrisg, postée le 2004-04-20 13:02:55 (S | E)
>My training course was carried out during the period of January 5 at >February 27 2004 within the data-processing service company: YYY.

I would have written : "My trainee period" instead of "training course"
SSII in english is called : Consulting company or firm, providing services in IT (information technologies) environnement.

>YYY is a Service company of Engineering Data-processing (SSII) YYY is >in the first ten companies of service in Europe.

same remark

>Group YYY is composed of 10 divisions and 9 subsidiary companies, and >represents an average manpower into 2002 of 8400 employees.
>I was in Merignac in the YYY ‘s branch. They are 700 employs in >Merignac

quite ok.

>have to carry out this training course with another training >course "Vincent" we are study the project together

begin with "I was in charge of ..."
"we studied the project together"

>The company carries out projects of development for many customers >at whom her place missions its collaborators.

don't use "her" for your company.
Make short sentences, it more clear.
"this company provide value added project engineers and consultants to its customers".

>Company YYY used already a control program of the absences of the >collaborators and wanted to integrate a tool allowing into it to manage >the missions of collaborators.

"Company YYY currently works with an application checking its collaborators' absences, and expects an integration of a new software allowing to manage missions of collaborators."

hope it helps, for this beginning part !


Réponse: re de nathdiscaz, postée le 2004-04-20 18:13:01 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de ton aide, j'ai effectué les corrections. Pour le reste peux tu me dire...
merci beaucoup


Réponse: re de nathdiscaz, postée le 2004-04-20 18:19:22 (S | E)
Voilà ce que cela donne avec les corrections :

My trainee period was carried out during the period of January 5 at February 27 2004 within Consulting company providing services : STERIA
STERIA is a Service company of Engineering Data-processing STERIA YYY is in the first ten companies of service in Europe.
Group STERIA is composed of 10 divisions and 9 subsidiary companies, and represents an average manpower into 2002 of 8400 employees.
I was in Merignac in the YYY ‘s branch. They are 700 employs in Merignac
I worked with another trainee "Vincent" we studied the project together
this company provide value added project engineers and consultants to its customers
Company YYY currently works with an application checking its collaborators' absences, and expects an integration of a new software allowing to manage missions of collaborators
"Management of the absences" a management tool of the absences of the collaborators: vacation, RTT, formation, disease, delegation, inter contract...
YYY entrusted the development of this named application to me: "council & expertise". The application "council and expertise" must be integrated in the application "management of the absences" which state already developed
We started by studying the project, and the requests which we owe satisfies. Then, we distributed the spot between us and to begin the development
We are develop The program with language PHP and the base of data MYSQL
With the end of the training course, a presentation of my work was organised near my Master of training course Mr XXXX who validated the software.
This training course brought to me much. I was integrated into a very enthusiastic team. I could put knowledge into practice learned during the year. I also could see the operation of a great group and adapt me to it. I hope soon to renew an experiment like this one.


Réponse: re de chrisg, postée le 2004-04-20 18:57:35 (S | E)
I was in Merignac in the YYY ‘s branch. They are 700 employs in Merignac

> I was localised in the YYY Merignac subsidiary, working with 700 other employees.

I worked with another trainee "Vincent" we studied the project together
this company provide value added project engineers and consultants to its customers
Company YYY currently works with an application checking its collaborators' absences, and expects an integration of a new software allowing to manage missions of collaborators
"Management of the absences" a management tool of the absences of the collaborators: vacation, RTT, formation, disease, delegation, inter contract...
YYY entrusted the development of this named application to me: "council & expertise".
The application "council and expertise" must be integrated in the application "management of the absences" which state already developed

> "this application had to be embedded into the application "management of the absences", already in a production state."

We started by studying the project, and the requests which we owe satisfies.

> We started defining and studying the project, and especially focusing on request we considered statisfying

Then, we distributed the spot between us and to begin the development

> spot ???

We are develop The program with language PHP and the base of data MYSQL

> we developped ... in PHP programming and MYSQL Database

With the end of the training course, a presentation of my work was organised near my Master of training course Mr XXXX who validated the software.

> At the end of ....a presentation was organised with my trainee manager

This training course brought to me much. I was integrated into a very enthusiastic team. I could put knowledge into practice learned during the year. I also could see the operation of a great group and adapt me to it. I hope soon to renew an experiment like this one.

> this training period brought me a lot : .... I could put knowledge learned during the year into practice .... and adapt.

voila voila ... j'ai pas tout changé, je t'en ai laissé un peu ...
))


Réponse: re de nathdiscaz, postée le 2004-04-21 10:56:21 (S | E)
J'ai fini de préparer cette partie de mon oral, je te remercie encore




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