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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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girl of 12 has baby
Message de lock posté le 22-01-2005 à 16:22:23 (S | E | F | I)

Peut- être il y a quelqu'un qui peut m'aider sur mon sujet de rédaction?
corriger les fautes car je ne suis pas douée et me donner son avis sur le sujet. Thanks.
This document is a press article extracted from "the mirror".We can read in this text who come from press article writing by Steve Atkinson the 28 august 1999. This article explain us how a girl of twelve has a baby.
The first part of this text explain us the girl was 11 when the child was conceived and nobody notice the young girl was pregnant until the birth of the baby boy.After the birth, police and services officials ask many questions to the girl in order that, they know the name ant the age of the father.Why? Because the law in England forbidden to have sex under 13 year. Have sex may constitute rape because at this age child cannot realise the importance of this act for her future life.
Perhaps, she realised after a lot of persons come at home ask her many questions about the baby, the father ... it's a really problem to have a baby before is come of age. She count on discretion on the journalist.In fact, if this journalist : Steve Atkinson writing this article it for alert, inform young population girl how many problems can give to have a baby under 18 years.Rotherham, where live the girl got a high number of teenage pregnancies. Can we hope the school given some advices to the students and why not giving a class of sexual education.
Mother in general, can explain to her daughter the thing of life more precisely the sexual relation, the different way of contraception ...


Réponse: re:girl of 12 has baby de avie, postée le 22-01-2005 à 17:20:00 (S | E)
This document is a press article extracted from "the mirror".We can read in this text who come from press article writing by Steve Atkinson the 28 august 1999. This article explain us how a girl of twelve has (had ??? car c'est du passé non ? ) a baby.
The first part of this text explains us the girl was 11 when the child was conceived and nobody noticed (non ? ) the young girl was pregnant until the birth of the baby boy.After the birth, police and services officials ask many questions to the girl in order that, they know the name and the age of the father.Why? Because the law in England forbidden to have sex under 13 years. Have sex may constitute rape because at this age child cannot realise the importance of this act for her future life.
Perhaps, she realised after a lot of persons come at home ask her many questions about the baby, the father ... it's a really problem to have a baby before is come of age. She counts on discretion on the journalist.In fact, if this journalist : Steve Atkinson has written ( c'est du passé) this article it for alert, inform young population girl how many problems can give to have a baby under 18 years.Rotherham, where live the girl got a high number of teenage pregnancies. Can we ( pourquoi cet inversement si ce n'est pas une question ? si tu veux dire nous pouvons espèrer alors c'est We can, si tu veux dire pouvons nous espèrer c'est can we mais il faut mettre un ? non ? ) hope the school given some advices to the students and why not giving a class of sexual education.
Mother in general, can explain to her daughter the things of life more precisely the sexual relation, the different way of contraception ...

J'ai corrigé quelques 'choses' mais je n'en suis pas certaine, je préfère que d'autres te donnent leurs corrections.
see you soon


Réponse: re:girl of 12 has baby de merki64, postée le 22-01-2005 à 17:23:28 (S | E)
This document is a press article extracted from "the mirror".We can read in this text which come from press article writing by Steve Atkinson the 28 august 1999.


Réponse: re:girl of 12 has baby de emy64, postée le 22-01-2005 à 17:36:34 (S | E)
je dirai même plus, "which comes from"
on va finir par y arriver si on s'y met tous !


Réponse: re:girl of 12 has baby de ruofei, postée le 23-01-2005 à 05:25:26 (S | E)
Bonjour, j'apporte ma contribtion. J'ai corrige ce qui me semblait sonner un peu trop francais en essayant de rester le plus proche possible de ce que tu voulais dire: je crois avoir compris ta logique, sauf l'age de la fille (11 ou 12 ans?)..et 'service officials'. Tu peux tres bien me contacter si tu n'es pas d'accord avec ce que je dis. AU revoir.

This document is a press article extracted from "the mirror".We can read in this text who come from press article writing by Steve Atkinson the 28 august 1999.(coller ces 2 phrases ensemble serait plus facile de lecture:This document, a press article TAKEN from the British daily newspapers 'The Mirror', was written by S.A on (the)28th AUgust 1999...c'est tjrs conseille de precis la nature du doc. de A a Z...et n'oublie pas, les anglais utiliz les apostrof simpls '..') This article explain us how a girl of twelve has a baby. (pas tres recommande d'utiliser "we" ou "I" dans une disserte, tourne plutot la phrase ainsi: It deals with the pregnancy of a 12-year-old girl) (l'amorce de ton plan me semble juste descriptive: tu devrais dores et deja introduire les intentions du journaliste....)
The first part of this text explain us the girl was 11 when the child was conceived and nobody notice the young girl was pregnant until the birth of the baby boy.(tu utilises 'and' mais il n'y a pas vraiment de suite logique ds ces 2 phrases, je propose: The first part of the text recounts the story of a girl aged 12 who gave birth to a child. Strangely enough, on one around her had noticed she was pregnant up to the day her baby boy was born) After the birth, police and services officials ask many questions to the girl in order that, they know the name ant the age of the father. (After her son's birth, THE police and 'service officials' came and asked the girl many questions, in order to/so as to/ so that they could find out the name and age of her baby's father. 'ask' est comme 'give' ou 'tell', ils ont 2 cplmnts dt le premier mentionne doit etre le beneficiare de l'action: she told me the truth, they gave each other presents, I asked you for a hand) Why? Because the law in England forbidden to have sex under 13 year. Have sex may constitute rape because at this age child cannot realise the importance of this act for her future life. ("Why? Because..." plutot language parle, faut expliciter ou tu veux en venir et dire qqch comme: Political measures were taken to protect the law....[political measures remplace le "why" et to protect the law remplace le "because"]. Effectively, law in England striclty forbids any kind of sex with the under-13's. Underage sex may as well be refered to some form of rape as the teenager is not mature enough to consent to sex and to realise/weight the consequences of his/her life upon future...tu utilises 'may' mais ce degre n'est pas assez fort, surtout loskil s'agit de parler de loi/may as well = peut aussi tres bien, peut tt a fait. Puis, tu mentionnes 'rape' en le liant avec 'importance of this act', mais je pense kil il faut plutot confronter le viol aux valeurs morales -ici, ne pas abuser de la naivete des ados) Perhaps, she realised after a lot of persons come at home ask her many questions about the baby, the father ... it's a really problem to have a baby before is come of age.("perhaps" n'est jamais bon a utiliser ds une argumentation: After the police thorough interrogation, the girl came to understand that motherhood at an early age/that being a mother while she was so young, was quite an issue/a problem. Since then,she has relied on the jounalist's discretion.)
In fact, if this journalist : Steve Atkinson writing this article it for alert, inform young population girl how many problems can give to have a baby under 18 years.(je comprends que ce paragraph constitue la 2eme parti de ton plan, dc essaie de ne pas commencer par "in fact": What is to be read between the lines is that S.A is warning his readers, and especially his female readers aged under 18. He is informing them about the problems and difficulties they would have to cope with if they had a baby while they are hardly grown-up themselves) .Rotherham, where live the girl got a high number of teenage pregnancies.(The Dutch city Rotterdam, where the girl lives, rates a great numbers of teenage pregnancy cases) Can we hope the school given some advices to the students and why not giving a class of sexual education. (Hopefully, schools will carry out and improve sexual preventive actions; opening sexual education classes in each shcool can help so)
Mother in general, can explain to her daughter the thing of life more precisely the sexual relation, the different way of contraception ...(it is also mothers' responsibilty to teach their young daughters lessons of life and to reason with them as concerns sexual relation and contraception...je ne suis pas tres sure que cette derniere fois sonne bien anglais. Aussi, if I may , je pense que les peres et les jeunes garcons ont aussi leur role a jouer dans tout ca, non?)




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